I have an 11 year old son and I am a single parent...he doesnt want me to have the surgery because he is afraid something bad will happen...i have told him everything i can think of to make him feel better and suggestions....

also i have an iud merina is this ok to have or does it have to come out?

Ask your surgeon about the IUD

AND have your son attend a seminar with you. That should help calm him. The risks of remaining obese are probably more likely (diabetes, stroke, heart attack, osteoarthritis, etc) than something bad happening to you on the table. You need to explain that to him.

Ask your doctor about the IUD. And I would not tell my 11 year old son (if my son was 11) any details.

I would tell my children that mom is having a medical procedure to make her well. That mom is not feeling well because of ________ feel in the blank. Mom has a team of doctors that are going to take care of her and do everything they can to make her well.

Too much detail for a young child is just information overload.

Good luck with the surgey!!!

Yep, I agree - only the doc can tell you what to do about the IUD.

However, I would never tell an 11 y/o all about this procedure and I'm sorry, but I'd get a sitter while I attend my seminars (never know what sort of questions & answers might come up there).

Best of luck!

I'm a single mom of a 14 year old son - pretty much raising him by myself. My son was very worried also but wanted me to feel better. He chose to stay with my parents a couple of days before the surgery as well as the day of the surgery (that is how he chose to handle it). He also told me in advance that he wanted to stay with his grandparents after I came home as well. My first day home - he needed to stop by my house to get something - he ran up to my room to see me once he saw how "normal" I was, he began to cry out of fear & relief and gave me the tightest hug, then decided to stay home that night. I'm sure everything will work out for you. Good luck!

I waited to tell my 10 year old until two weeks before my surgery. I wasn't going to tell her exactly what I was having done at all, but in the end I decided to tell her. Right away post op she told me that she was unhappy about my choice to have surgery. When I asked her why she said 1-she was really scared when she visited me at the hospital because of the tubes and 2-she couldn't cuddle with me because of the incisions. Now 2 1/2 weeks out she is feeling much better and now she is the food police "are you sure you can have that?" I do agree with not telling your son if that would work for your family, but I also know that would have never worked in our house. I don't do secrets well, I like being able to talk openly with my husband and not having to worry if my daughter walks in the room. Also my GUESS is that your IUD will be OK, however I believe it secretes a small amount of hormones, I don't know if it is enough to concern your surgeon, that is a really good question.

I told my 9 & 11 year old that I had surgery to do with my stomach. That it was nothing serious, just to help me feel better.

Honestly - for me, I dont want them to worry and neither of them have a weight issue and I am always worried about their self image.

When they see what I can/cant eat now they ask if thats something I have to do forever. We just go at it in bits. I dont want it to be over whelming.

I am not sure about the IUD....as far as your son goes I would be as honest with him as you can. You know your child better than anyone and will know what he needs to know and how much he can handle knowing. I have three children. My 11yr old son knew just about everything about the surgery, my 9yr old is a worrier so he knew about it, but not about the risks. My 4yr old just knew that I could not roughhouse for a while and had to eat special for a few weeks. I was more worried about her because she was so concerned about what I could eat and couldn't eat. To my 11yr old I talked about the risks, but down played them. On thing that may help your son is talking to him about the things that you will be able to do when you start to loose weight. We are planning to hike the Grand Canyon. Good luck with everything.

thank you for all of your advice about my son....

My son is also 11. This wasn't the first surgery that I have had that he knew about. He wasn't nervous about it. I told him the truth about what I was having done. I didn't go into details about the procedure, but I did tell him enough that he wouldn't be scared. He handled it pretty well. He has been the food police for me since he caught me during a PB. He now asks me if I am sure I can eat something else or if I should have that.

I did not tell my two sone. I knew they'd freak out. I had outpatient surgery and came home the same day--I told them that mom had a little hernia operation in her tummy, and now she's fine. They didn't have to stress in advance about it, and by the time they found out, it was all done and they could see I was just fine.

I have 12 and 14 year old sons and a 9 year old daughter and I am single. I had a hysterectomy in March and spent one night in the hospital and they visited me and saw the oxygen, iv, etc and were scared. So when I was going to have the band surgery I told them I was having a procedure done to help me lose weight and would have to be going to Richmond occasionally for appointments. Their biggest concern was that I would have to stay overnight at the hospital. They went with me when I went to the Psych appt - they waited in the waiting room. My surgery was outpatient so I was home before they got home from school. They knew where I went as they had been there before.

You know your son the best and what he can handle. I didn't talk about the risks with my kids as they would have just worried and why worry about something that is out of your control.

Only you know the relationship you have with your son, and how the two of you handle issues that come up. I raised 2 daughters alone after our divorce and our deal was we would always be honest with each other. When I had surgery the first time, I explained what I was having surgery on, but not all the details, to my oldest daughter. She didn't need that, she just needed to feel certain that I would wake up afterwards. I felt that had I not told her and something DID happen, she would feel I had betrayed her trust, and she would have carried that for the rest of her life. She came to the hospital with me and she cried when they took me to surgery. My best friend (her second mom) stayed with her and reassured her that I'd be okay. Everything turned out fine, and today she is more honest with me than I would like!

I hope this helps in some small way.

I have a Mirena and surgery was no problem! Good Luck.