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Hi Everyone,
This is actually the first phase in my journey to gettting the lap band surgery. I looked into the surgery about a year ago, last April in 2007. My health insurance did not cover the lap band and along with my primary care doctor felt like the bypass was too drastic in my approach for help. I prayed about it and asked God for guidance and that if it was in his will for me that TriCare would cover it within the next year. Well the surgery was on my heart and mind again and found out that it was covered!
You see, for a long time I was in denial that I had allowed my weight to get out of control. I had always battled with my weight but had been able to lose it to a comfortable size I had accepted. The smallest I have ever been is a size 11/12 in high school and about a couple of years after that. After having my 2nd child, I was up to a size 18, lost a few and went down to a 16. Over the years, I went back and forth between 16 and 18 even after my 3rd child. I always thought a size 18 was my absoulute maximum size and that I could settle for that and go no higher. Usually, I would always bounce back, motivate myself and get back on the yo-yo nightmare. Well in attempts to do better, I tried so many fad diets, research diets, hynosis, adipex medication, b-12 shots, you name it. Only to gain more and more weight , and the short reach of rock bottom I am in today.
I have gotten so tired of dieting, so tired of exercise, fasting, with little results that I have no energy to continue on the roller coaster ride. Here I am today as of my first consultation 2 weeks ago, 288 pounds at 37 years old, and 5'7 inches.
My husband and kids are on board and feel alot more comfortable with the lap band surgery.
I have to admit. I am a bit anxious, I want it now, but my mind and heart is scared to death wondering if I really will be able to enjoy life as I knew it with my family. I am a good cook, enjoy good food. My culture of course contributes to alot of this. I am natively from Louisiana. I have never learned how to cook my favorite dishes the healthy way, as if there is no other way. I also have found MYSELF FEELING LIKE I NEED TO EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT THAT FANCIES ME, LIKE A SINGLE PERSON SEWING WILD OATS BEFORE GETTING MARRIED. I KNOW THIS IS A LIFE CHANING EVENT. IT IS SOMETHING TO COMIT TO THE REST OF MY LIFE, IT IS THE BEST THING THAT I COULD DO FOR MYSELF AND MY FAMILY, BUT AFRAID TO LEAVE THIS LIFE BEHIND. HAS ANYONE FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE THIER SURGERY OR AM I ALONE? THANKS FOR ALL THOSE OUT THERE, WHO WENT TOOK THE TIME TO READ MY POST. I KNOW IT WAS A LONG ONE.
SINCERELY,
HEALTHTY ME 2!