Hi Everyone,

i am 39, mum of 2 boys and have struggled to loose weight for the last 7yrs due to 2 major back ops.

I used to run for hours and train in martial arts, which would keep me at a strong 14, i was happy and healthy.

I resently lost 30kilos and had a summer of fun, only to gain it straight back.

The look on peoples faces when they see me is heart breaking, and its not only the ones who expected me to fail, it is much worse the ones who were full of praise when i lost weight, now dont know what to say.

I know that they feel for me, as i hate myself for gaining it all back!!

At the moment i have closed the door and only go out when i have too.

this makes me feel worse because i know that i am being crazy.

The good news is that i am booked in for my surgery in feb 09.

I can not wait, a new life for me.

I know it is not going to be easy, but it is a path to a better me.

I am not happy now any.

When i was smaller, i had a lot more enery, i could walk into any shop and pick an outfit, i walked proud.

thanks for listening guys

Hi there pheobe! Glad to have you on board. There's a lot of good info to sort through here and a lot of good people to support you. Welcome!