Hi all, I am new to this site and have read tons of interesting and helpful stuff.

I was having a conversation with my best friend who was telling her sister than I am having LB (October 20th!). Her sister basically made the comment (which I agree with) why doesn't she do it on her own? She knows smart nutrition, knows she should exercise, she knows what to do to lose the weight. I kinda feel like she is right. I do know smart nutrition, and how to exercise and what to do. I am just too damn lazy. And, I don't have a frame of reference for being healthy or thin. I have always been overweight, and literally cannot remember being under 200 lbs or not having to shop in the plus sized section. Bottom line is this, I feel guilty over "taking the easy way out". I KNOW that this wont be easy, but I feel it is a more feasible option than trying to lose 116 lbs on my own through diet and exercise alone. Should I feel guilty that people work their asses off exercising and eating tiny amount sof uber healthy food to maintain their weight? Or, am I overanalyzing and should just be grateful that I get a chance to be healthy and that I have made the right decision for me. How do you deal with the mental stuff?

HI Jen,

Everyone seems to have something supportive to tell you and I just want to add my 2 cents. I am 59 and a year ago I would have told you all about how I couldn't loose weight. I don't think I realized what a small amount of food you really need to eat consistently to substantially loose weight. The hardest work for me has been to see my favorite meal on the table, smell it, taste it, think I might cheat a little and be able to eat only a few bites of it! I have lost weight in the past, usually to get a man (I know some of you have been there) then I got a man and eating became the prime form of entertainment. Don't let anyone tell you its easy but it is consistent. You can't cheat unless you choose foods that slide past the band. I have lost 50 lbs since April and every week the scale moves in the correct direction. You will feel so good that you won't care what anyone has said or will say. Your life will change. I tried on a pair of size 18 slacks the other day and they were too big. I wanted to buy them just to hang them in the closet and point to them from time to time saying "those are too big". You are going to have so much fun! We will always be here to support you if you need it. Blessings on your journey.

Sally

It's not an easy way out. food for some people (like myself) is as addicting as cigarettes. I should know, I'm an ex-smoker who is going on 1 year without smoking!

But let me just say, I couldn't quit smoking on my own either. I needed a tool to help me and I found one that worked. And, while I haven't been banded yet, I am hoping that the band is also the tool I need to begin a healthy new lifestyle.

My only advice is to surround yourself with supportive people while you get through the tough times.

I agree with all the great posters, and the cute reference to Kat Williams, a hysterical comedian, and his 'haters' advice! It seriously made me feel better when I heard him joke that it was a good thing to have haters.

For me, the people who have been the most unsupportive were the people who were weight-conscious, but never over-weight. Does that make sense? I.E. my half-sister who exercises every once and a while but feels she a guru because she stays in good shape, or my ex-roommate who was a nursing student who was on a strict diet of fat free butter and daily Chipotle (because THAT'S healthy??) and would give me lectures about eating burritos from local taco joints, but she's never been 10 lbs or more overweight. She admitted her father had a heart-attack and that's why her family started being a little more 'conscious' of food.

When I first signed up for Lapbandtalk.com back in March, she looked on my Laptop and came into my rooms saying, "I need to talk to you." She treated it as some intervention, sat on my bed and told me YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT!! Like I was literally giving up on myself by looking into surgery.

I took her whacked advice with a grain of salt, but started to notice a pattern iin who was supportive and who was not. Another big critic was my then best-friend, a girl who had lost 40 pounds on weight watchers with me a few years before. She maintained her loss, which I did not. But she had never been overweight before, and I had struggled my whole life. She admittedly had an eating disorder and had a binge purge type of diet. Anyway, the people that have bothered me about it have never truly had a problem or if they did, were unable to sustain it in a healthy way, and I do think it stems from jealousy. She still send me forwards to this day about failed BYPASS patients she read about in biology or nutrition class.

So don't feel alone that you have haters. There's my story!

I used to think exactly like you did about taking the easy way out, infact, that's what I thought it was when I started researching it (kind of...I mean..I thought I could get away with more than you actually can) II have done WW a million times and gained and lost the same 30 pounds, then self-sabotaged myself when I gained...I looked as the band to me an addition to a healthy lifestyle that I was allowed to slip on, but not allowed to self-sabotage anymore.

Good luck.

I had someone suggest the same thing to me and you know what I said?

"You did it 'naturally'? Fantastic! When do you get your medal?"

In short, people who say that are jealous and bitter. There ARE no medals or prizes in the end and if my weight comes off easier than someone else who spends an hour a day in the gym running on a treadmill, then good for me. I despise people like that and I enjoy driving them crazy by not being apologetic in the least.

To hell with them...it's the end result that counts. (losing weight, being healthy and modifying your life for the positive.) Not how you run the race.

As Dr Phil would say, has it been working for you up to now,. i can only speak for my self, best descision i ever made, have not regretted it for a day. althought it is only 5 weeks at the moment. but still, i cant wait for my weight to continue dropping off. good luck and take care. jo.

You guys need to understand that peolpe try to give their opinions about things they don't know about. Most of the people who are against having the surgery are either on a high horse or they have never been heavy. You can't hate them because they choose to not take the time to learn. Just blow it off and think about them the way you'd think of a child, they don't know any better.

You will always have those friends who have something to say as soon as you say you are going to try and do something with your life. Make that be a challenge. Show them what you can really do and i bet they won't doubt you again.

I've heard the same types of comments. The most likely thing is that people that don't have weight problems don't understand how hard it is for us, because it's easy for them.

You will only be successful if you do this mainly for yourself. Not your spouse, or your kids, or your friends. This HAS to be about you and your health. That way, what anyone else thinks can no have no impact on your success.

Everyone here has given you great advice - you have to do this for you...if you are like I was (when I was younger) I did (and did not do) a LOT of things based on the approval of others.

Now, I must say that since I turned 40, I've been kicking tail and taking names, and I'm going to do things for me! I decided that WLS was the way for me to lose the weight I've been fighting since I was 12, and NO ONE is going to stop me!

My PCP was the only person who might have discouraged me, but he's all for it...so to paraphrase Jill Scott - "Hate on me haters"! :thumbup:

I haven't told anyone outside of my immediate family (DH and DD) and a BFF who has had the bypass, and I WON'T be telling anyone else unless they have a NEED to know (like my supervisor at work).

Hang in there, girlfriend! Do you and let the haters worry about what THEY will do to keep up!