I was talking to my mother yesterday and she so totally hurt my feelings.Of course i didn't say anything because then she would just cry and i not only would feel hurt but guilty too.

She was told she is diabetic but she still eats crap.She sais she wwent to see a dietician whi gave her a diet to follow.So she tell me for supper she had fried pork chops,fried potatoes and fried mushrooms.She says i guess i'm just pretending to diet..like you! hahaha.

HELLO i went from size 22/24 to 16.Yes it's taking a long time but heck i don't eat junk all the time,i've changed my habits.My thyroid took forever to stabilize and i've just recently started to exercise.It hurt so much that she thinks i am not trying...

I don't know why i let it bother me for goodness sake i'm 33 years old but still i felt like when i was 10 and she brought me to the doctor for my first diet.The humilition and feeling of being a failure all came back!

Sheesh!!!

Chantal

Boy our Moms can push out buttons like no one else! I am sorry she did not give you the credit you deserve! ((HUGS)) But I am sure that she did not mean to offend you! You know how much she loves you and just know that even if she doesn't see your accomplishments you KNOW what hard work it has been to go from a size 24 to a 16!

great work on getting to size 16, Fantastic! And yes, aren't mothers special? (as a mother myself...) I was raised by wolves....

But you know what, she's right. Sorry. You are not dieting. You have made a serious life change. Diets, by the way we define them, are designed to be a temporary state, not a permanent state. Because you (and nearly all of us for that matter) have had the Band, you are doing something vastly different and PERMANENT. Or as permanent as the Band is.

Chantal, age makes no difference. My mom still pushes all my buttons & is less than supportive. I'm 44 & it still gets to me. Congrats. on getting to size 16!

My mom is mentally ill, so we don't talk much. When they say, "you can't argue with insanity" they were talking about her.

But she still manages to push my buttons. After a year of silence, the phone will ring at some weird hour. Last year I answered it, and she frantically said, "GET A PEN." Figuring someone was in trouble, I ran to get a pen. She said, "write this down" then proceeded to spell: "D pause, E pause, N pause, IAL... DENIAL, that's what you're in, you're in denial!"

I hung up. Till this day I have no clue what she why she called me after a year to tell me I'm in denial, but that woman got me to write down the word denial. Clever. And MADDENING.

I'm so sorry your mom doesn't see what a huge accomplishment you have done. I don't know what I would do with out my mom's support, she is wonderful. She is the one that stayed at the hospital with me during my surgery and took care of me afterwards. She even thinks I have lost enough and don't need to lose anymore, she says I look beautiful already. She also has been very supportive of me getting my plastic surgery and she will be staying w/ me at the hospital and she will be taking care of me, she is even coming back to Florida w/ me to help me with the kids and the house, she is so wonderful. I love her. If you want I can adopt you, I will be a new improved supportive mommy for you. But you have to keep a curfew and be home by midnight and no cursing or letting boys touch you below the waist, okay... LOl

awww Estella!Thank You so much Mom.

My sister told me that my mother thinks i took a copout!

Oh Well whatever...

Sis said to just let her talk,makes her happy!

Ps.I could live by those rules.

I go to bed at 9pm

I don't swear (unless i stub my toe but it doesn't count,right!?)

and i am too tired to let boys touch me below the waist...

I know she thinks i could have lost the weight faster but i am still trying.I sontimes give up and go back to my habits then continue on my way.My eating is pretty stable i am just trying to make exercise a priority.I KNOW this is the key but i am soooo darn tired all the time that by 4pm when i finish work i can hardly function and i still have to make dinner,dishes,tidy,bath and bed for the 2 kids(one 3 year old MULE girl!!)

By this time it's 9pm and i am more then exhausted i generally go to bed.I do;t sit around eating chips or chocolate in front of the tv but am asleep in my bed!

Chantel...Im sorry your mom doesn't get it...but ya know what. Neither does my mom. My mom is a diabetic too and she still eats garbage!! She has been pretty good as far as support goes...shes helped me with my son, she came over one night after my surgery and helped me with the house work when I couldn't get up. I have a son with special needs so she also took care of him that night.....She has a lot of her own medical stuff going on, so I try not to expect too much of the physical out of her, but the emotional support is lacking. I found it in me to contact my surgeons office. I found it in me to go thru the exhausting process of the pre op stuff. I found it in me to walk into that hospital at 5:00 am and LET THEM put me to sleep and tie off my stomach. I have found it in me to not eat and eat and eat. YOU are the only one that you need to find strength in....at least thats how I have been making it. I have a HUGE support factor, my father, but he is all the way down in Florida. You have done sooo well! You could have went in the other direction and GAINED the weight rather than LOSE the weight. You could have done nothing at all to help yourself...which is pretty much what our mothers are doing to themselves....not helping themselves...

Not to do with banding, but last night my mom and I were talking on the phone and we were joking around. well I guess I said something she didn't like cause she hung up on me, and refused to take my calls for the rest of the night! I didn't talk to her till about 11am this morning! So mothers, WHO KNEW?!! WE can just strive NOT TO BE LIKE THEM.....I love my mom and I love her to pieces, and I know you feel the same about your mom, but they DO PUSH THE BUTTONS....hopefully mine doesn't push the wrong one and cause a national disaster!!!

Okay, I gotta get to the house work...It isn't gonna do itself dammit!

TTYL

I sontimes give up and go back to my habits then continue on my way.My eating is pretty stable i am just trying to make exercise a priority.I KNOW this is the key but i am soooo darn tired all the time that by 4pm when i finish work i can hardly function and i still have to make dinner,dishes,tidy,bath and bed for the 2 kids(one 3 year old MULE girl!!)

By this time it's 9pm and i am more then exhausted i generally go to bed.I do;t sit around eating chips or chocolate in front of the tv but am asleep in my bed!

I totally relate, I am the same exact way, I know that my weight has remained the same because I don't excercise anymore, but I am always so damn exhausted. I just don't do it. Sometimes I feel like I'm just making excuses for my laziness. But after getting up, getting the kids out the door, getting myself to work, and going home, picking up the kids and going home and doing EVERYTHING, who feels like working OUT??? I sure don't. And I have a three year old boy that is too active for me. I am seriously thinking of having him evaluated, I don't know if he is just being his normal boy self, or if he's ADD. My girls are not like him and somedays I feel so incompetent as a parent. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. The other night I was trying to get him in the shower and he was running around naked and threw himself on the floor and wouldn't get up, I spanked his butt once and left a red mark on his butt, that is not the kind of parent I want to be. But I am just so exhausted from the whole thing. On the other hand, he is so sweet sometimes and he's crazy about me, he comes and cuddles with me and tells me he loves me. And you should see the look on his face when I come to daycare to pick him up. He used to be so quiet and I don't know if he's just going through a stage or what, anyways I'm off subject, I just remembered that's why I'm so exhausted and don't exercise. Sorry to vent. I love him more than life itself, but I wish he was his normal self again. And he's so darn cute. Oh well. Any takers. He's potty trained. LOL

Chantal,

I guess we all have mothers that are unbearable. I was banded on 6/23 (the same day as your post). NONE of my family knew what I was considering or planning for. About 3 1/2 years ago, my mother had the Gastric ByPass. She was looking great. Then she went back to her old ways of eating and has gained all of her weight back. Yes it can be done. I guess I didn't tell my family because I didn't want them to think I was just taking the easy way out. Honestly, this was a very difficult decision for me to make. Well, the day after my surgery, my sister found out from a friend, accidentally. Now, she's not talking to me. It's not that I wanted them out of my business, I just knew I'd get flack instead of support. Hang in there girl!! You've done great so far. You know how you feel and what your reasons were for having the surgery. I think some people (like my mom) have a hard time seeing other people genuinely HAPPY with themselves. God Bless.

Your not alone. I will never understand my mother!!! I guess that is just part of being a daughter. But I am sorry she hurt your feelings. You know you are not pretending anything.

My mom made all of these wonderful offers (mostly in front of people) of how she was going to come over and take care of me, cook for the kids and husband so I wouldn't have to deal with food while I was on liquid and mushies and couldn't eat it. how she would do the shopping and help me out around the house because (according to her) I needed to rest afterward so I could recover. Now, knowing my mom the way I do, I should have anticipated the outcome of this......nope, got me yet again!!!! (everytime she does this, I think...maybe this time she is really going to make an effort to mother me, to be here for me, to be human....)

I am 11 days out and haven't seen her once!!!! I called her everyday for the first five days and would ask her if she was going to come over and see me. I didn't ask her to keep her word about cooking or cleaning or anything else, just to come keep me company and visit. She only lives 30 minutes away. And every day she had some excuse and would remind me how I have always been so independent and strong that I don't need any help. I can manage. So......I quit calling and she hasn't bothered picking up the phone to see how I am. And I guess that's just the way it is between us. She has done this to me before and a lot worse as well but....LOL, this was supposed to be about your mom so I'll stop ranting now.

Again, I'm sorry she hurt your feelings. Things are never simple between mothers and daughters. I wish they were!!!

lets face it- my friends & total strangers are soooooooooooooooooooooooo much more supportive than my Family! I hear you & your story hits hard. That stinks but just try & talk about diets & food & losing with friends who are supportive. I tell anyone who I feel( I feel ) being the opportune words that isn't supportive that I don't care to discuss those topics with them. It usually works.

Congrats on your GREAT success!

While on my pre-op diet, mom put notes all over the cubbards and fridge saying things like, How bad do you want this surgery? Is eating what is in here gonna help you lose weight? Then she drew little candybars, popcorn, Ice Cream and other little tidbits all over the paper. How sweet! In fact I was banded two and a half months ago and just took the last one down.

Yeah, she drives me crazy most of the time, but she really does care!