I feel pretty good today. I have been sleeping like crap, as I'm sure you can all imagine. I am up 2 pounds :[ which is depressing. It is also another stress factor since i have to lose 10 pounds now in 33 days. I do feel my relationship with my boyfriend is a lot better even in 3 days. We are actually enjoying eachothers company like we used to instead of sitting on Pete's couch (an Above the influence commercial). I am still pretty irritable. Sorry if i snap at anyone here. I'm trying my hardest to maintain my composure. My wisdom teeth are coming in which are giving me a massive head ache. But over all, at an emotional stand point, I am doing very well. I feel really good about myself today.

I spoke with my mom last night and finally told her that I feel like she would love me less if I ever gained the weight back. She did not take that well. She didn't even deny it. I also spoke with my Grandma and she tried to convice me to leave my boyfriend. For some reason, I now feel like i need to have a break from my family until I can get some things straight in my head. I think my boyfriend has been nothing but moral support. Like I said, when i live at home after the surgery, my mom wouldn't even stop buy ice cream. My boyfriend has gladly started to eat healthy. At least when he's around me :] My family has just filled my head with all these expectations. And you know what, I don't want to live up to their expectations. I want to live up to MY expectations.

We'll see how well i do since it is a 3 day weekend :]

WTG Hollie! If he is supportive in your journey, y'all quit smoking together, then he's a keeper. The family, however, well.....I'll just not make any comments. It is hard when our family isn't supportive. Good Luck!

you poor poor child.... i feel for you ..... i had to have a few friends come over with a happy box this afternoon if you know what im sayin

had to take the edge off so to speak

2 in the morning 2 at night

2 in the afternoon to make me feel alright

2 in peace and 2 in time of war

2 before i 2 and then i 2 more

Edited August 31, 200818 yr by TheWatcher