I have noticed that certain things that pertain to weight loss are upsetting me more than they should. For instance, people who think this surgery is like the bypass. You can't sit on your ass and lose weight. God did not intend for it to happen that way.

ok perfect story:

I was at the gym, on the eliptical machine, and another lady got on to the one next to me. She seemed about 30 and in great physical shape. When she started to move, she was acting like she was taking a strole in the park. I watched to see if she'd ever speed up and she never did! Oh my gosh, i was like can you move please. i didn't really say that but it was super discouraging to have this lady next to me acting like this was a freakin joke.

I mean i have no clue why i act this way. I mean earning your own is a big thing in my life. My parent's are very wealthy but you can bet i don't see a dime of it. i have to work for everything i have. My father was the same way. His wealth comes because he busts his ass everyday.

Maybe I just need to keep telling myself that good things happen to good people and karma is a bitch. I just would hate for someone to think that i ate candy bars and got thin like you can with the bypass. I want people to see the sweat and tears and the time a effort i put into my body.

Sometimes I guess I just feel discreditted for the work i put in.

I just wish it didn't bother me so much!

Hollie you don't know that lady or her story. What if she has fibromyalgia or RA? What if she lost 200 pounds? Don't be so quick to judge others and you'll quit thinking they are judging you! LOL

And I thought RNY patients couldn't eat sugar because of dumping syndrome.

You're just young and feisty but you'll chill out!

Don't worry . . . give it a little time and it won't bother you as much.

It is different for all of us, some of us have to work our buts off all day long just to be normal, others can never workout, eat junkfood all day long and stay thin as a string bean.

Hollie, you've accomplished A LOT for such a young person. You clearly are very goal oriented and focused and the fact that you are self-sufficient and responsible at such a young age is great. Don't compare yourself to other people, there's only one you and that's the only you that matters.

Hollie,

Everyone is dealt a different hand, and we all have to deal with what we got. Some of us have to struggle with weight, or money, or family, but none of our struggles are the same. Example: I was always jealous of my neighbor/friend because his family life seemed perfect, and his parents gave him whatever he wanted. Meanwhile my parents were divorced, fighting, and I had to work for everything I had. It seemed that he never had to deal with any problems in his life. Then, sophomore year of college, his mom killed herself. Needless to say, I felt incredibly guilty for feeling the way that I had felt. Maybe this woman was born with a models body, and never had to work for it a day in her life. So what? Its not HER fault she's thin. But, I promise you, she has had other struggles in her life. The only person that you need to worry about is you, so put on your blinders when you are on the elliptical and keep your eyes on your own machine. This problem that you are having has nothing to do with anyone else, its within you. You can't change anyone else, only the way you react to them.

Just a few thoughts...

I don't think Karma is a bitch. Karma gives people what they "deserve" or what they "earn". I think it's called "poetic justice".

Live in peace with yourself then you will be able to live in peace with others.

~Kat

Maybe this comparing myself thing comes from my mother who used to blab my problems to EVERYONE while they all pretended their lives were perfect. She has always asked me why i can't be more like Tenille (her friend from high school's daughter). I have no idea why I can't freaking be her. i'm not her. I am way better than her. I have always known that but I was over weight. My mom has obviously damaged my mind. i mean it could be a bad thing or a good thing. I strive to be the best at everything because of her. You know what, I love this site. I just had another realization. My mom has always wanted me to be someone else, so when i see other people with any kind of talent that i don't have, I am jealous. WOW! what a sad thing. i wish i could just love myself and love being me but its like a mind game. it never ends. Can't wait to start counseling. September 3rd i go to a screening to start counseling. Until than, you guys are my mentors.

oh and i know my problem isn't with the lady, its with myself. i feel bad now for even being that way.

Don't feel bad about yourself! That's not right either. You're great just like you are. Just a little high strung like a thoroughbred or something. Nothing wrong with that! :thumbup:

Hollie, when you have negative thoughts or feelings, ask yourself "Is this helpful?" If you're not in the mood to ask then just tell those thoughts to shut up!

Hollie,

I love reading your posts because you remind me of how I was at age. I can assure you it all gets better and because you have the opportunity to have the lapband and permanent weight management I predict it's going to be great for you. You seem to know what you need (the band, counseling) and that alone will take you far in this world. Keep posting, I want to know how far you go!

I appreciate you guys so much! I can't even explain. There are always times when i do not want to hear the advice that someone wants to give and that has never once been the case with this site. I mean it brings tears to my eyes that people say i am amazing. i don't think i've heard that in a long time. too long. I know i don't give myself enough credit for how much i have accomplished and how mature i am for my age. I just have worked so hard in so many different aspects of my life and i just felt like it was never going to get better.

Thank you guys for brightening my day and bringing a smile to my face. I wish I would have found this site a long long time ago. You guys will truely never know what you have done for me. I am so grateful.

AMEN!

I agree 100%

Just a few thoughts...

I don't think Karma is a bitch. Karma gives people what they "deserve" or what they "earn". I think it's called "poetic justice".

Live in peace with yourself then you will be able to live in peace with others.

~Kat

ok well i know I am a good person. that wasn't my problem

Than no worries. Just relax and be who you are and let others be who they are and don't let who they are affect you so much. Just do your thing and stick to it your doing great. Keep up the good work.

Hi sweetie, I too love your posts because you are able to be so candid and honest with yourself and us about your deepest fears, and thoughts. I think many of us wish we could be as insightful and analytical as you. I think as you get older you develop defense mechanisms that shield us from our basic reactions to events and people. You seem to be able to feel it, react to it and then learn from it. I do think many of us can relate to feeling that others are judging us for taking the easy way out when in fact we know that this decision took a lot of commitment, courange and personal strength. Hang in there we all love reading your posts.

Well yea, I mean I had someone ask me why i needed to resort to surgery. he said why don't you just stop eating and go to the gym. DUH! Don't you think i've tried that. lol i wish people only knew the difference between lap band a bypass. I chose lap band because the results come from the work i put into it. I know my mother is my underlying problem with why I think this way. i have had so many years of counseling because my dad was an alcoholic but that was never my problem. My mom is. She fills my brain with her thoughts and than i get confused. I mean you guys should see the hives that have been on my arms for the last 2 months. I'm so itchy all the time. I can't wait to start counseling. At least this time, i'll be able to go by myself and focus on me and not my mom.