The more weight that I have lost, the more fat I FEEL. Does that make any sense to anyone? I never felt fat when I was at my heaviest....its almost as if I was completely unaware that I was big. But now that I have started losing weight, I think I have become more conscious of my body and I feel really fat....even though I have lost weight. I dont mean to be wingeing, I have been doing really well in my weight loss and I have been feeling really good and exercising a lot more lately. Just wondering if anyone else has had this increase in self-awareness during their weight loss, and how long it took before they got over it? Hopefully not long, I dont want to be of those skinny people and complaining that I'm fat....soooo annoying :w00t:

Hey chickie!

I totally know what you mean, i never realise just how big i was until i started to lose weight, i think realising how people had seen me for so long made me self concious!

As the weight came off it got worse untill i got to a point where i looked in the mirror and thought hey i am not fat anymore...im normal, that and everyone complimenting you will eventually boost your self esteem.

I think its totally normally to go through this. I would recommend doing things that make you feel good, like getting your hair done. It helped me a great deal.

In time these feeling will pass trust me, in the mean time you need to work on loving yourself. Just think, you will never go back to that the only way is up; or down depending on how you look at it!

About three or four years ago I lost some weight (from 245 to 208). About the same amount that you have lost. Co-workers, family and friends were constantly telling me how great I looked. But when I tried on clothes, or looked in the mirror, all I could see was how fat I still was. When I tried on the old clothes that were too big, I could see the difference. But, it was so hard to find new clothes that fit me. I was constantly in between sizes - nothing fit just right. It seemed like my stomach was even more flabby then before! And I worked out at least 4 to 5 times a week at curves.

Now, I've gained it all back plus almost 30 lbs more! I would give anything to be back at 208 feeling like I was fat instead of where I am now. Talk about embarrassing! :w00t: Anyway, I'm back on the wagon again and hope to be banded by the end of this year or early next year.

Anyway, Long story short (sorry for the rambling) I understand how your feeling. Just enjoy the complements and keep on keeping on. One day you won't see that fat person anymore! You're doing great!

I totally relate!!! Some days I feel like a beached whale. And i dont know what to eat what to do, i'm stressing over size constantly...and the scale omg thats another story..thanks for the post its nice not to be alone

I can completely relate to the feeling you're describing. What's weird with me is that even at my biggest when I used to look in the mirror I would think, well I don't look THAT bad.. or THAT big.. then I would see a picture of me beside someone who was at a healthy, thinner weight then me and it would hit me like a brick wall, just how obese I really was. As I am losing the weight this continues, but I think its because when we are big and know we are, we subconsciously try to make ourselves feel better by blocking out the reality of how we look, and how unhappy we are.

As we continue on the path with weight loss and healthy habits we are being forced to acknowledge and to concentrate on our lifestyle a lot more, and therefore we think about our weight- perhaps even obsess about it- more then we did when we were bigger.

Hang in there, you will come to the point when one day you look in the mirror, or see a picture of yourself that simply shocks you- then you will realize how paranoid you seemed before and accept your health and happiness! Good luck with your journey!

I'm the same way, at my heaviest I *thought* I looked like I do right now.

So, sometimes I go, well darn I didn't accomplish a whole lot. I can tell when I look at my old pics, but I know at that time, when I looked in the mirror, I see the same thing I see now.

Only thing is, now I am more picky because I say.. you lost over 100lbs, what do you have to show for it?!

Wow, thanks girls. I really didn't think that this was normal, but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Its weird, because I really never thought I was very big. Like a few of you said, I would look in the mirror and think I looked ok. It wasnt until I saw myself in pictures did I realize that I was really heavy. Now, I am aware of every lump and bulge. I am sure that this will go away when I have lost the rest of my excess weight, and I can see a "normal", healthy person in myself. Thanks for the advice and words of support! You are all beautiful!!!

Laura I say the same thing to myself! I can't believe that I have lost 60lbs. I look the same to me. Its only in pictures and in rare moments that I realize the difference. I am always in between sizes so shopping is so depressing. It is worse than when I was big! About 6 months ago I was trying on jackets, I tried on an XL and then put it back. Another girl grabed the jacket and put it on. My jaw nearly droped. The jacket had fit me but was too small for this girl. I thought I was twice her size so what a shock it was to find out that I was smaller than her.

When I was at 252, my fat was firm and tight and not jiggly. I was solid. My skin was smooth. Now that I've lost 65 pounds, I'm squishy, wobbly, saggy and mushy. My skin puckers in places and I have horrible bat wings. I feel fat because of this. My husband calls them my wobbly bits. All that jiggling makes me feel FAT.

I have been experiencing the same thing. I obviously new I was fat but didn't look at myself much and truly didn't realize how morbidly obese I was. It was almost as if I just blocked it out. Now that I have lost 55 lbs from 321-266 I can look down and see this HUUUGGGE lower abdomen that looks like a truck tire and everything is mushy and jiggly. It is really weird but I wonder if it is because we are paying more attention to our bodies. I am definately happy with my progress but I guess I will keep going through these stages until I reach goal.

:biggrin:

I have just as many fat days now as I ever did, sigh.

It's a pain in the butt isn't it? But you are not alone.

Caring about how you look makes you more aware of how you look. Being more aware makes you pick at your parts and say, ugh.

But if you are honest with yourself and turn off the negative self talk that women all seem to have and really look at the differences from before you'll see them. Check out the slope of your shoulder or the smallness of your wrist or pick the piece of you you like most...do your toes look smaller?

It's so so hard to see the positive when we only want to focus on the negative. You are in beautiful company.

My GF who is tall and regular sized and I were playing around with cheap rings at a festival, you know try this one on kind of thing...it was there we realized my fingers are smaller than hers we both were shocked.

Even now I look at my fingers typing and I see sausages on the key board, but they are small. <--that was hard to type. But they are.

I understand what you mean. I was in denial, now that I am banded I had to not only accept how big I was, but accept who I am every day. It takes a little getting used to.

Isn't it amazing/sad how we train our brains? I too never thought I was THAT big; obviously I was more meaty than the skinny-minny's I work with, but I mean, they are all just little waifs aren't they? And now after slow but steady weight loss, although I have a LONG way to go, I think OMG just how big am I??

I need to work on re-training the brain...