I have a very active 3-year-old. My parents have offered to either take him for a week or so (I live in Maryland, they live in Florida) or my mother could come up for a week when I have my surgery. I'm not sure which to pick. I think my husband is taking time off, anyway, so I don't think I'd need her here, but I'm not sure if he's taking Wed (day of surgery) through Sat off or just Wed. If you have a toddler, which would you pick? :confused2:

My hubby took off work and my mom was here with me to help with the kids and to pick up any slack cause you know men just don't always get it. Never mind when i am in pain or sick i want my mommy so i had the best of both worlds. I got to see my kids, my mom and my hubby it was great.

I took off wednesday and went back to work monday. I had my husbnad here and he was no help and he ended up leaving me alone so then my mom came and got me . I dont have a very nice husband. LOL but my mommy took care of me after that. LOL she had my son for the time being to . Hes 8 so he helped to . But to be honest MOMMYs are the best.

I have a four-year old, and my husband took off from work and my parents came down the day before surgery. My parents took care of my daughter so that my husband could take me to the hospital and stay with me there and bring me home. My parents left the morning after surgery because they could see that I was feeling fine and able to do everything normally. I can't really tell you what you need to do though, everyone responds differently to surgery and you might need the extra help. I really didn't need my parents to be here, but it did ease my mind to know that they were taking care of my daughter that day. Good luck!

I have a 12 yr old, 4 yr old and 3 yr old. I stayed overnight at the hospital and came home the next evening. My husband was with me the first day but then it was all me. Kinda hard but nothing I couldn't deal with, just had to teach them that I couldn't pick them up and showed them mommys boo boos :thumbup:

Just one more opinion. I am a single mom of a very very very ADHD active seven year old. My sister and brother-in-law took my daughter and added her to their family of five boys and a girl plus my dog for the first week of the surgery. It was fantastic! (She had an absolute ball becoming part of a big family instead of being an only ) I only had to worry about myself and was home alone. Friends called to see how things were and to be honest I was less stressed being by myself than having to worry about any possible messes my daughter could create. My vote would be to have the grandparents take care of your toddler and you enjoy being pampered by your husband or enjoying the peacefulness of the house when he isn't there.:biggrin2:

I'm not banded yet, but when I had gallbladder surgery, my mom came over. My DH was useless, so mom came over every day to handle my very active son. I say have the best of both worlds. Let your mom come to help and then you have time with her along with her help.

My mom is coming down the 24th to stay for at least a week. DH will be with me the 25th (he was able to get the day off). He has to be back at work the 26th and 27th then comes home for vacation til he goes back the 10th! My mom is keeping the option of staying through the 8th or 9th open. We have a very active 2 year old daughter. It's going to be so nice to have the help!

Just an explanation b/c I'm sure some of it sounds kind of strange. DH is a fireman with our State fire dept and works a 72 hr shift. Sooo, for him to be able to even take Monday, especially during the height of fire season, is amazing and then the timing of surgery was great b/c he had vacation scheduled already. They have to have their vacation requests for the next year (08) in by the end of October the previous year (07). So scheduling things can get tricky. It worked out really well in this instance.

With my mom, she travels for work and she didn't have anything scheduled right now so she can take off from the office without too much trouble. Whew!!

Let your mum take him!!

Seriously, the chance to chill out on the sofa, watch my TV instead of cartoonnetwork........ well worth going through surgery for!!!

Nina x

I have a very active 2 year old and I very much needed the help. You are on a lift limit for the 1st several weeks and YES picking up your child does make a difference. The more help you get the better. Please take this time to heal and rest. Your body really needs it!!! PM if you have any specific questions.

My advice is take any and all help you can get:) I have a 7, 5, and 4 year old. While I was up walking an hour after surgery and felt better than I did after my csection, it wasn't like a spa trip, lol. I was sore, had trouble sleeping (I am a side sleeper and just this week can sleep on my side), needed the pain meds and felt very worn out. I should also tell you I have exercised regularly for the last 2 years about 5 times a week, so while I'm fat, I generally have alot of stamina. I was surprised I wasn't wanting to shop and run around because I had heard so many stories of fast recoveries. I started to think something was wrong, but my surgeon said, everyone is different. When you are liquids only, it takes alot of umph to keep drinking to keep from getting dehydrated.

I hope you experience is super easy as so many people DO have that experience. Just in case though I'd take the help:)

This thread is exactly what I needed. I too live in Maryland and I'm a single Mom of a 2 1/2 year old. I don't have a good support system AT ALL here, and I'm doubtful that my Mom will come up from Texas to help me. I mean, she could but I doubt she will since I think she thinks I shouldn't do the surgery (I should ask her though).

I've been thinking of trying to do it all on my own, that is, have my daughter stay overnight with someone (possibly someone from work or one of cousins who live in the area) and then somehow get myself home to pick her up on the second day and then take a few days off work. My daughter would be in day care during the day so I'll have that "off time" to sort of veg at home for a few days until I go back to work.

I guess I'm reluctant to ask anyone for help. I don't really want a lot of people to know I'm having the surgery. All my relatives that live "in the area" (45-60 minute drive from me) are very sympathetic people but have literally NEVER had weight control problems, so they simply wouldn't understand the issues. I guess I'm a bit ashamed of my weight and my inability to control my eating and I just don't want to expose myself to them on this issue.

ANYWAY, is it unreasonable to think that I could drop my daughter off in the morning of my surgery, have the surgery, stay overnight and then pick her up the next day, then have a few days off work (take her to day care so I don't need to be moving around taking care of her during the day) and be ready for full time parenthood in just 2-4 days or by the next weekend? Is that insane?

Hey Betelnut, you're just down the highway from me! :thumbup:

I don't think your plan is unreasonable, considering she'll be in daycare most of the day. So long as she understands that mommy has an owie and she'll have to be a big girl for a little while, I think it could work out well. There's plenty of people I've seen here who their spouse only took off a couple of days or whatnot and then they were back to being SAHMs.

Hey Betelnut, you're just down the highway from me! :w00t:

I don't think your plan is unreasonable, considering she'll be in daycare most of the day. So long as she understands that mommy has an owie and she'll have to be a big girl for a little while, I think it could work out well. There's plenty of people I've seen here who their spouse only took off a couple of days or whatnot and then they were back to being SAHMs.

Thanks Tomatogirl! I really appreciate the encouragement. I probably will cave and end up having someone help me, at least for 1 day, but maybe not! A lot depends on the surgery schedule and if they want me to stay overnight (I'm still in the "insurance" phase of the process but will probably have the surgery in early November--at least that's what I hope happens!)

Betelnut,

I just have to tell you that if you can get help, please take it. I had surgery Monday. No way could I take care of DD (2 yrs old) today on my own. She also had a complete meltdown last night b/c mama couldn't pick her up and hold her like she wanted. It was just too big of a day for her. Too many changes, too much going on, etc.

I'm blessed in that DH was able to get the day off and take me to the hospital (an hour away) and my mom took off from work and drove 3 hrs to come down for the week. DH had to go back to work today but mom is here til Saturday. DH will be back home from work on Thursday.

I'm also on liquid Hydrocodone for pain and no way can I drive right now. Even without the meds, I don't feel near comfortable enough to try it.

I just want you to really think about things and how you can manage for you and your 2 1/2 yr old. I don't feel horrible but I do FEEL it. And you have to move slow and it's amazing how much you use your middle for everything. Just really think about it, please. I'm not trying to scare you, by any means, but I did want you to know how it's been for me just 1 day out from surgery.

I'll hope and pray that you can get some help. Sit down and talk to your mom about it. She may surprise you. Especially if it means she gets to spend so much time taking care of your baby!

Take care and let me know how it goes. Oh and I thought I was going to be in overnight but I came home same day.

Heartfire:

Shucks! You're probably right. I'm so used to "doing it alone" that I try sometimes to push the limit. My Mom would love to take care of the baby but she (or rather my Dad) is sort of a cheapskate so it would be the expense of coming up here that she might not like. But I'm going to ask, once I get the surgery date.

Thanks for the advice!

Susan