Hey ladies

(and well the guys who will look...)

I have some questions on the sexual peak for women. I am 31 now. I have been feeling very different in the desire deparment and what I want to do lately. I have become open to things I would have said HELL NO to years ago! How long does this sexual revolution last? I am enjoying it, but hoping I can keep myself in check....lol..

I dunno...but it might have come at a younger age had you not been overweight and not feeling sexy. We all can agree with that. I was in the stage where I tried unusual things etc when I was around 20 I dunno if i still would be now if I had a bf...but who knows. It could be because you love your body now etc etc and it makes you more willing. But really I don't think anyone knows this for sure. lol

Personally, I don't believe the whole "sexual peak" thing. I think when woman hits her thirties, she becomes more confident and able to express her desires. I think I was always curious when it came to sexuality but find myself more comfortable expressing it now that I'm a little older. Don't worry about how long it will last, just embrace it. It feels good to be able to express those desires without embarrassment.

Can I just say that I am happy to hear that most women have a newly found sexual desire after sugery and weight loss, becuase since being banded in may my need for any kind of sexual activity has completely gone out the window. I can already say that I will be much more open to things I may not have been up for before once I am more comfortable with my body, but right now I am just too tired to by days end. I am not in the mood when pre-op, usually I was the one initiating. I am less than three months out, so I am hoping that its just because of all the ongoing changes that is making me tired and my body simply needs to adjust. I will be looking forward to when I am up for it on a regular basis again and I am sure my hubby is too! I say, dont question it, just enjoy it!!!:thumbup:

I think it may be a combination of you are hitting your sexual peak (men hit it late teens-early 20's; women early to mid 30's) and your new found confidence. With all that going on, who wouldn't feel more frisky?

My sexual peak seemed to last at least a couple of years. Or maybe it was because I was newly single again and it seemed the men I attracted were much younger and in thier peak. (A couple I even carded to be sure). My husband is 13 years younger than me (6 years older than my oldest son). Enjoy your peak!

Now that I'm nearing menapause, I am fighting it tooth and nail. I want to do things, but I have no desire. Men have viagra, I use alcohol, which sucks with the empty calories. For a while hubby thought it was him, even though I tried several times to explain.

I say, enjoy it, you only live once.

I say enjoy it too. I seem to have the opposite problem. I had a lot of desire when I was younger, but I don't now. But that may be because my husband and I argue a lot. I don't want to have sex with someone I fight with all the time.

Oh believe me, I am by no means complaining, nor is my hubby. He has gotten some things he NEVER would of had a chance at before! lol....

I just don't want it to end!

All through my 20s, I heard that one sexual peak begins in the early 30s, and there is another in the 50s. I had been on birth control from age 30-34, so I wasn't experiencing it. May 07 - I went off BC to try to get pregnant. I don't really think we ever tried to get pregnant (we didn't), but every day and every week - the sex just got better and better. It was like my body had been unleashed - physically, emotionally, mentally, and especially sexually! Then I decide to go for wls, and have to go back on BC - well, that sexual desire is now locked down tight as a vault. In two months, my sex life has gone from WOW to blah. I would have liked to enjoy that peak a bit longer.

I think birth control has a lot to do with it too.

I noticed in my 30's that it was a lot easier for me to have an orgasm.

I could have one before, but all of a sudden they stated happening effortlessly.

As I got closer to menopause, it went the other direction. I am on hormones now. I think hormones are the only way to go. I would rather face risks from being on them because the alternative was not fun.

Then I decide to go for wls, and have to go back on BC - well, that sexual desire is now locked down tight as a vault.

You probably don't have the energy now. But as you get farther out, it should come back.

I also don't believe in the whole "sexual peak" thing.

Yes, the operative word there is CONTROL on the birth and the process that creates it. ugh.

I will say that most of our friends in their 30s fight so much more in their marriages than I ever noticed in my 20s. The pressures of our 30s are so intense (I'm generalizing here) - career building, children, money - our perspectives begin to shift as we try to find the glue to hold it all together. We don't have children and we have never been good at arguing with one another, but we get our share of digs in each day b/c we are both sarcastic (and I'm bossy). The last year was wonderful in that we were having sex 3-4x/wk, and the arguing seemed to disappear. Everything else in our life (careers, money, etc.) just got better and better as well.

Yes, I think my sexual peak was the direct result of freedom from birth control. But the result of the sexual peak was intense intimacy in our marriage:wub:, and that just manifests itself once it is in motion.

And now, that I am back on birth control.....well, I'm more....controlled.:thumbup:

I got lucky there big time! I never had to do the BC thing! We went through infertility and the problem is me, so I never have to worry about getting knocked up! lol...

But I do also think the stress of your 30s sucks. I just wish I could be as care free as I was when I was in my 20s. Just not so anymore!

As far as being more adventurous goes, I think that comes with being more comfortable both with yourself and with your partner. That shouldn't ever decrease.

Sex drive fluctuates with hormonal cycles and outside influences (stress, schedule, etc), so that may change but in general once you've tried something and decided you like it, you don't tend to stop doing it

I honestly think it is a state of mind. I remember in one of the science classes in school (probably biology), our teacher said women reach their sexual peak at 28. I sure was NOT wanting sex at 28. That is when I was at my heaviest and I hated the way I looked. I had absolutely no self esteem and I just didn't enjoy sex. It was a mental thing for me.

Now at 31 (too), as I am losing weight I'm slowly getting my confidence back. I went out and bought the Karma Sutra - VERY interesting reading...can't wait to try some of that stuff out. My body still won't bend like that, but hopefully one day it will. I'm like you - wanting to try new things out. DH has just blinked at me a couple of times and asked, "really?" I'll keep what that was between us, but he's been a VERY happy man lately.

Exact same here Leslie. And honestly my man wasn't that attracted to me, so it was never a big deal I didn't want it. Now he is enjoying it to say the least!