:cry

I asked my husband last night if he was proud of me for loosing 35 pounds! He had the audacity to tell me no! He said he was happy for me to have lost some weight but that I did not accomplish this "own my own"! He said if I had dieted or exercised with out getting banded that he would be proud of me. That really hurt espcially since he is aware that for the last 7 years I have been unable to loose more than 15 pounds by dieting and exercising.

Am I crazy for thinking my husband should be proud of me? Has anyone else ever had this kind of reaction from their spouse?

I was a self pay also and you know I think he resents us spending the money on my surgery. I spent months trying to find a surgeon that was qualified as well as reasonable because I did not want to "break us". I have really reduced my eating out and have tried to spend less money but I am quite sure he resents that we had to spend money for me to loose weight.

I understand some of this, because I hate to spend money on myself. It isn't like you went out and bought a fur lined sink or an electric dog polisher. You spent this money to save your life.

To save your life. If he resents this, then you better make an apointment today honey. ((((hugs))))

It isn't like you went out and bought a fur lined sink or an electric dog polisher.

Oh my god, I just laughed out loud! Priceless, Crystal. Fabulous!! Good thing I wasn't drinking anything.

I'm with everyone else in thinking your husband was a little tactless, Madeline's Mom. As time goes on I hope he'll come around and see how hard you're working. My DH was on the fence about the surgery in the first place but he's gotten over that.

I actually did buy a fur lined sink and an electric dog polisher. Is that bad?

Cracking up cuz I adore Steve!

Could it be worry? It takes a lot of guts to go through elective surgery wether you pay or your insurance pays. Today I went through 6 procedures and 4 appointments starting at 7:00a.m. and ending at 4:00p.m. I have about five more appointments scheduled. It is not fun!!! It is something I want, a lot!

Sounds like your hubby might be just the tiniest bit insecure about you losing weight. After all, you might just become attractive to other men.... something he really hasn't worried about in the past. Be proud of you , for you! That is the real reason you are doing this. You have done a great job! I hope when is it my band time that I can do as well.

Kudos to marimaru, vinesqueen and everyone for such great words of advice. We are proud of you and YOU certainly did do this "on your own". You used your tool on your own. Working the band properly takes skill. I am proud of you that you didn't pig out on ice cream, coffee drinks, etc. That you ate your protein, drank your water and cut down on the bad stuff. I know you did that because you would not have lost 35 pounds otherwise.

Good luck and keep up the good work!

Hmmmm, I wouldn't be too happy if my hubby said that to me. My guess is that he is not overweight? I am not going to bash him, as he is your husband, but geez. It was on YOUR OWN. Banding is a tool and it helped you, as a excersise bike or a diet on a sheet of paper. HMMMMM, no more comments to him!

Sounds like he's jealous to me, not just of the money you spent on yourself, (OMG, the shame and sin of you, what in the world were you thinking), but of the fact you have lost 35 pounds and you're probably starting to feel pretty darn good about yourself, regardless of what he thinks.

YOU GO GIRL, tell him to kiss your getting smaller every day butt.

I'm blessed my DH never even asked what it cost until a golf buddy, who is a little on the chunky side, inquired. I just smiled and told him he coulda bought another Harley, but he got a thinner me instead.

My DH tells me every day, loss or no loss, "you're just wasting away honey". He's never had a problem with weight and he knows I've battled it our entire marriage.

Enjoy the new you, he'll get over it.

Thank yall so much for the encouraging words I really needed that! I think most everything each of you postulated is true. What I can't understand is that he has also battled with his weight and knows how hard it is too loose weight and keep it off.

Well when I get to my goal weight of 140 I dare him to say he is not proud of me!

Thanks again so much you guys are GREAT! And Kathy, Please let me know what YOUR husband says when you ask him if he is proud of you!

YOU GO GIRL, tell him to kiss your getting smaller every day butt.

I love it! You have done a great job! Don't let him get you down! One of these days, he might have to have some viagra, then you can totally get even with him!

My DH is just the opposite, he is so proud of the weight I have lost he tells everyone! He tells them how I walk and exercise etc. to the point I just want him to be quiet! But I love him for caring so much!

Thank yall so much for the encouraging words I really needed that! I think most everything each of you postulated is true. What I can't understand is that he has also battled with his weight and knows how hard it is too loose weight and keep it off.

Well when I get to my goal weight of 140 I dare him to say he is not proud of me!

Thanks again so much you guys are GREAT! And Kathy, Please let me know what YOUR husband says when you ask him if he is proud of you!

Well now that you say he has struggled w/his own weight it makes more sence to me

He is struggling with his own demonds about keeping it off & he know he doesn't have this "tool" so he is actually worried about failure himself---Think about it -Hes actually jealous of your "band" & the only clever thing he can seem to think of saying is to "cut you down" He is too afraid to tell you he is scared about gaining his weight back -while you loose!

At least that my 2 cents

poor guy

Mary Emily I'm not sure why your husband would say that. But I hope he realizes in time that this is a hard journey to get through without his suport. Maybe he will see things differently at a later date. You both should talk this out and see if you can figure out why he is just now being negative about your choice to have this surgery and why he feels the way he does.

Just wanted to say that your weight lose is a great success and you should be very proud of your self we all are proud of you!!!!

I've often heard, "The best revenge is getting thin" Don't let anyone ever get in the way of your goals and dreams. You need to keep yourself in sight and remember who you are doing this for - should be for YOU.... and although it is wonderful to hear compliments from others - how 'bout patting yourself on the back = look in the mirror - and smile - at what you have just done and will continue to do. KEEP ON TRUCKIN

Well, I am sure proud of you!!! You are doing so well. It sounds like to me that he has some issues of his own, including resenting the surgery, and was taking it out on you. Hopefully he can come to grips with his issues and give you the support you need. Keep up the good work.

You go girl!!!

One of these days, he might have to have some viagra, then you can totally get even with him!

Holly cow ROTFLMAO over here!!! BEST POST EVER!!! I think ur getting even right now just by letting everyone flame him. This has turned into one of the funniest threads ever!! Doesnt it make u feel a little better? **evil laugh**

U gotta love ur girlfriends!! Maybe u should let him read this thread and see what an ass he acted like.....

First off I want to say congrats on your weight loss and you have every reason to be proud of yourself for your accomplishment. A loss of 35 pounds is great indeed.

Second, I understand what your going through. My husband felt that I was not doing a good enough job on watching the amount of food I was eating for dinner so he started weighing it for me !#@? Unfortunately I knew my DH was going to be "0" support on this but, I found support on this board and through friends. We do go to counciling and through it I am learning that I do not need him for validation of myself. Pat yourself on the back dear sister of the band because we all see what a good job your doing and sooner or later he will too.