it is that time of the month and i am just bitchy and moody and feel like crap in general. i want to cry and scream and sleep. i dont really have anyone to boo-hoo to so i thought i would here in hopes of someone else having been through these feelings and finding a way to work through it.

i have been on a self-induced plateau now for months. three weeks ago i finally had a much needed fill. i fully anticipated that this was gonna be it, i would tight again and start losing. yeah, that isnt happening. i haven't noticed a change whatsoever! it has really thrown me into a funk. i have another fill scheduled for wed. its not like i have to wait forever or anything.

i dont know what is wrong with me. i want to cry. i am so frustrated with myself! i set up my cross-bow (generic bow-flex), did great a week or so, and over the last 4 days, nothing. i hooked up the wagon type thing i bought for my daughter to my bike, took a ride thrusday evening, and havent touched it again since then. thought about it plenty over the weekend, but that doesnt do a damn bit of good does it now?

my eating....not good. have been eating around the band, trying to comfort myself. how freakin stupid. its not comforting me. its making me worse! i sure in the hell dont feel better afterwards. today i was making a pathetic attempt at eating better. ordered a turkey wrap, ate 1/2 of it with the wrap and then ate the turkey out of the other half. why do i feel so quilty for that? why am i doing this to myself? how freakin stupid can i be?

i am so close to being at goal... so close.... i want it so bad.

ok, so. now that i have this all out i am gonna do something about it. i am riding that bike tonight with my kids. i am gonna lift those weights. and i am gonna brush this off and continue on instead of wallowing in this. right. right? right....

You are preaching to the chior. I think we all feel like that once in a while. You are only human. You can't change what you have done and thinking about what you could do to get to your goal is hard too. You have to take each day as it comes. Baby steps! You can't beat yourself up. We all got here because we were addicted to food. Rome wasn't built in a day. We are here for you!

everything you are feeling is totally normal. most of us, including me, feel exactly the same way at times. you are probably feeling this more so bc you are approaching your goal. are you sabotaging yourself? are you afraid of something? so you had a set back for a few days. but you've also done damn great losing 45 lbs!!! so tomorrow when you wake up, tell yourself it's a brand new day and a brand new start. you can and you will do it!

You might do well to take one area to concentrate on tomorrow, like exercising like you "should' with out worrying about the food. Or control your food with out worrying abou the exercise.

Ease back into being 100% perfect.

Just a thought. You are not alone, it does kind of swing back and forth, indeed.

i feel the same way most of the time. i just got banded 4-22-08 and only lost 28lbs so far. i don't really talk to anyone bout the way i feel cuz they just don't understand. people just don't get that the food is an addiction and it's depressing when we can't have all we want. we need constant motivation and support. i actually started walking after my last fill and only lost 1 freakin' pound when i went in for my 3rd fill today! talk about one pissed off chick!

i heard about this website today and checked it out. im glad i did. thanks for letting me vent a lil...

heather

everything you are feeling is totally normal. most of us, including me, feel exactly the same way at times. you are probably feeling this more so bc you are approaching your goal. are you sabotaging yourself? are you afraid of something? so you had a set back for a few days. but you've also done damn great losing 45 lbs!!! so tomorrow when you wake up, tell yourself it's a brand new day and a brand new start. you can and you will do it!

YES! i know i am sabotaging myself. without a doubt in my mind. its the whole idea of being that close to goal. i know that just sounds stupid. it sounds stupid to my own ears when i hear myself saying. but thats it. its SCARY to think i am just 20lbs away from what i have wanted for so long! i guess part of me worries about what i am going to look like when in get there. what if i still hate my body. silly thing is, i know i wont be happy until after the tummy tuck. things are just not going back to where they should be. oh, and the breast lift and augmentation. need that for sure too.