I'm going to apologize in advance for posting and running, but I'll be back in the morning. :cool2:

As of 24 minutes ago, I'm officially on my 2-day Clear liquids for my surgery on Thursday. I'm scared to death. First of all, there's a very real possibility that the doctor might postpone my surgery because of an infection I have near the operation site. I'm OK with that if that's what's best, but he told me today that he won't be able to make the call until I get to the hospital Thursday morning. Ugh. The worst part of that is that my mother is flying in to help take care of my son while we're at the hospital. I'd hate to drag her down here for nothing.

I'm just terribly nervous about the whole operation in general. Mostly, I'm afraid of the anesthesia and not waking up. I know a lot of people fear that though. I'm just keeping thinking that I'm doing this so I can live longer for my son, and I'd hate to die on the table.

I feel like a failure for having to have the surgery in the first place. I have been able to tackle every goal I've ever set for myself. Except this one. I just can't do it, and that's not easy for me to say. I feel like this surgery is the last shot I have, and if I can't manage with this then all hope is lost and I'll be fat forever.

I just hope I'm making the right decision. I hope I have the strength to get through the 2-day clears OK, and I hope I can handle the after-surgery stuff too. I thought about this surgery literally for years before I actively pursued it and I did a ton of research, so it's not like I didn't go into with some thought.

So, please tell me I'm just having cold feet... that everything is going to be fine and I've made a wise decision in going ahead with this.

Thanks for sticking with me and reading this far. I really do appreciate it. :smile: I'm not normally this much of a downer. Really, I'm usually quite chipper. :thumbup:

you'll be fine! i wish i was in your position getting the surgery in two days!!! and you are doing the right thing by your son. my dad had the gastric done and lost 250lbs. he did have some problems after surgery but he's perfectly healthy and your son will benefit. good luck!!

I just started this process and look forward to the nervousness and questioning....but the fact remains that you did a lot of research and thinking about where you are now and what you're doing.

You'll be better off for it - and all the nerves will be worth it!

Smiles to you!

hi pulling for you, i won't have my surgery until around oct. and i am already terrified too!! i sure hope it all works out for you. and i can't wait to hear all the reports afterwards. take care, csaverud (cheryl)

Wow-You just put down what I have thought a hundred times over. The anxiousness over anethesia and not being able to follow thru on weight loss has always been on my mind, too. Then just like you, I said I can face these fears. I can do it and I will do it. I keep telling myself things will be fine. Many have gone before us and are doing great. We will do great, too. I know it!

Hey skinnie we are in the same boat I am also being banded on Thursday and am as nervous as heck right now! We should keep in touch because we are riding in the same boat. Wel will make it through just fine!!! See you on the losers bench!!!!

Just wanted to pop in and offer my support. I don't have a date yet, but I have some of the same fears as you guys do.

You're making a great decision for your health/life. I'll keep you all in my prayers for a smooth recovery.

Be sure and tell us how your surgeries went!

Can I tell you how much I love that you've posted this? First off, it's great that you feel comfortable expressing how you feel to us. Second, I feel the exact same way and I have over a week before my surgery (7/2). I'm losing sleep over it and I'm extremely nervous. You ARE doing the right thing and before you know it, the surgery will be over and you WILL be a SkinnieMinnie! Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat. From one gal to another, I feel your pain and I'd love to talk to you anytime! Good luck Thursday. If the surgery does go through, and I hope it does, then post your story. That's part of what gets me through this whole process - reading other's stories and in some way, experiencing it with them! :thumbup:

Thank you all so much! I feel better in the light of day (though I've only been up about 1/2 hour, so they day is still young! LOL). I'm going to get my mother from the airport in about an hour, so there's no turning back now!

Thanks again, y'all! I'll keeping checking in.

Slinderella, good luck to you on Thursday. We definitely should keep in touch.