BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I don't know why these threads make me giggle like a 6 year old calling someone poopyhead but damn, I can't resist!

Just a Drop discount info

There is a little history here. DS is a WLS type, it is kinda like extreme malabsorption and it makes your poop and farts so bad people could faint. I mean it's HORRIBLE! This is something DSers battle all the time. It's so bad if they fart the stench clings to their clothing. Others complain openly in public restrooms. I'm telling you, it's extreme. They are forever having to keep Fabreeze and specialized products with them 24/7. One bariatric surgeon was telling another person about a patient where he was removing her gallbladder. She farted while under anesthesia and they were gagging in the OR and since it was the middle of surgery, he couldn't leave the room. The gallbladder patient had DS.

He went on to say that if a DSer farted in an elevator, when the doors opened people wouldn't be rushing out of the elevator, they'd be dead.

There are WLS type wars on OH all the time. Bandsters tease DSers for stinking and they tease us for barfing. They are forever insisting they don't stink yet they keep companies like this in productive business! HA

This thread just cracked me up, I've been laughing since I read it. I just can't imagine my husband wanting me to buy EXTREME odor eaters for the bathroom and clothing. I can't fathom this conversation in my home!

It's not funny that DS patients stink so bad, it's not. But if you saw the horrific things they say about us, referring to our bands as laugh-bands, choke chains, if you saw how they degrade and insult banded people for being banded, maybe you would understand my childish laughter going on right now.

If DS patients eat carbs that is when it is apparently the worst. One piece of cake and they get instant gas and clear a building. Yeah, I'll take my choke chain any 'ol day over farts that are lethal and a stench following me each place I go.

How many threads have they started with "I just ate a whole bag of oreos, your band sucks"

When others have questioned what type of example this is for the DSers children....boy do they get irate....

Anyone who has met a DSer knows full well that putting DS in a negative light and making it sound as though it isn't the choice of surgery for EVERY fat person out there is completely unacceptable!

Surely you aren't serious in suggesting that DS isn't the best surgery choice for little children too, right?

Still better than being stuck in an elevator with a DS patient.

Anyone have a match?

Anyone have a gun to shoot a hole through their head? Com'on, the human body can only take so much before it keels over and dies. ;o)

I have a serious question. Seriously. OK, I guess more of a statement, really, but maybe Wasa or someone else knows from reading their posts...I hate trying to navigate over there, so I'm not going to try to wade through to find the answer, but here's my theory:

OK, so the stuff that they eat in mass quantities that gets magically transformed into nutrition in their magical innards....is LOADED with bad stuff....Trans fats and high fructose corn syrup and the like. I have to wonder even if they aren't obese anymore what types of health problems they continue to have just like a morbidly obese person? High cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes??? Surely it has some effect on the body unless of course they fart (or shart) it all out, but it seems like if they're eating ALL that crap that SOME of it would be absorbed. Anyone know? Or care?

It appears to be just exactly like the rest of us in the sense that eventually it is absorbed. In the beginning (just like RNY) they malabsorb. Actually, they can eat like a heifer and lose weight. Over time they begin regaining if they have not learned better eating habits (ahem....) and they start the regain process.

If you look at the advice in the beginning they laugh at bandsters referring to us as stupid for making a healthy lifestyle choice. After a couple of years they start handing out advice to the regainers to avoid white carbs such as sugar and flour. Isn't that what we do? Everything in moderation?

So much for their obesity "cure" they tout.

While they can eat white carbs and lose weight, they pay for it in stink. The next phase is regain and stink.

They *do* appear to have the highest long term weight loss of all major surgery types considering many WLS types only have short term studies available. However, most studies seem to be glorifed opinions and it depends on what the study is trying to prove. (Not what studies were designed to do at all).

I guess one has to decide how much weight loss is worth it. Personally, I see no value in losing weight just so you can offend people with an odor you spend a fortune to try to cover up. Body odor, fart odor, and poop odor.

For some it is worth it, but not everyone would agree.

The human body can handle small amounts of amazingly bad foods and most chemicals. If it didn't, we'd all be dead. After time the body begins to be unable to keep up with constantly ridding itself of ingested horrors.

Honestly and sincerely.. I have my own personal thoughts on what is wrong with DSers and it doesn't involve biological functions. It involves emotional issues. But... I'm no psych so it's purely theory on my part.

It appears to be just exactly like the rest of us in the sense that eventually it is absorbed. In the beginning (just like RNY) they malabsorb.

So much for their obesity "cure" they tout.

The human body can handle small amounts of amazingly bad foods and most chemicals. If it didn't, we'd all be dead. After time the body begins to be unable to keep up with constantly ridding itself of ingested horrors.

They malabsorb forever. (even though they can regain later) The massive supplementation required daily is unbelievable.

How can your body fight disease when it is malabsorbing all the good stuff you need also? Of course I have never asked that question to the Nazi's because I was told to go impale myself on a rake when I asked a less "offensive" question.

Honestly and sincerely.. I have my own personal thoughts on what is wrong with DSers and it doesn't involve biological functions. It involves emotional issues. But... I'm no psych so it's purely theory on my part.

I honestly think that many of them are the type of people that want to have their cake and eat it, too (no pun intended). They want to be thin, but they want to eat like a fat person. They don't understand that it isn't healthy. Sure, their surgery has better long-term loss, but what are they sacrificing to get it?

Sure, their surgery has better long-term loss, but what are they sacrificing to get it?

It looks to me that their sanity is the first to go......

Followed shortly by the dignity.

It appears to be just exactly like the rest of us in the sense that eventually it is absorbed. In the beginning (just like RNY) they malabsorb.

So much for their obesity "cure" they tout.

The human body can handle small amounts of amazingly bad foods and most chemicals. If it didn't, we'd all be dead. After time the body begins to be unable to keep up with constantly ridding itself of ingested horrors.

They malabsorb forever. (even though they can regain later) The massive supplementation required daily is unbelievable.

How can your body fight disease when it is malabsorbing all the good stuff you need also? Of course I have never asked that question to the Nazi's because I was told to go impale myself on a rake when I asked a less "offensive" question.

After 18 months to five years their intestines (bypass) start growing and reabsorbing. They never absorb nutrients properly again, however.

This is why they have the 18 month honeymoon stage. They malabsorb like crazy during that time. After that they start absorbing calories and fat again.

Hmmmm, I did the Run for the Kids in Melbourne today (14.14 kms, phew) and I'm pretty sure I followed a DSer, lol. Boy someone in the crowd ahead of me overdid the curry and beer last night!

Myself, I only farted once! And it of course smelled like a spring garden. I had my headphones on at the time so I hope to goodness it wasnt audible. But you cant run your best time holding your butt cheeks together.

After 18 months to five years their intestines (bypass) start growing and reabsorbing. They never absorb nutrients properly again, however.

This is why they have the 18 month honeymoon stage. They malabsorb like crazy during that time. After that they start absorbing calories and fat again.

Aren't we humans cool?! That happens to RNY patients also. The body will find another way to get what it needs for survival. Unfortunately, now that it can absorb the fat/calories/nutrients, it doesn't change the odor problem. They continue to smell bad because the food is undigested. Basically rotten food farts!

Kind of sad huh? I'd much rather fart rainbows! :thumbup:

Hmmmm, I did the Run for the Kids in Melbourne today (14.14 kms, phew)

how did it go?

I wasn't sure if I should start with what may have been legitimate inquiries or with the ignorance being passed back and forth as though it were fact or just the nasty stuff. I think I'll stick to that order.

Inquiries

This should be the easy part. Stuff that is malabsorbed is malabsorbed. Our bodies don't know we ate it. We don't get the benefit of the good stuff (the nutrients) or the bad stuff (the fat or calories) in foods we malabsorb.

I'm not sure why people think that foods that our bodies don't know they were fed are somehow hurting us, but in answer to the cholesterol question--thank you for asking--I'll post my lab results, reference ranges in parentheses:

Cholesterol =152 (0-199)

Triglyceride = 98 (0-149)

HDL Chol = 74

LDL Calc = 58 (0-99)

LDL Direct = 74 (0-99)

VLDL Calc = 20 (0-30)

Homocysteine = 9 (5-15, <12 is preferred)

HS CRP = 0.16

<1.0 = Low Risk

1.0 - 2.9 = Moderate Risk

>3.0 = High risk

My Cardiac Risk Assessment Level (the above score) could be SIX TIMES HIGHER than it is and I'd still be "Low Risk" for cardiac problems. And I'm 61 years old and I've started each day with bacon and a cheese omelet or ham and eggs almost every day for the past two years. My PCP, Endocrinologist and Cardiologist all want to trade lab results with me.

In fairness, high cholesterol was never a problem for me. Before, during and after the band, it hovered around 190. Immediately post-op with the DS it was 119. Now it's just where it needs to be.

~~~~~~

Ignorance

I have IRL friends who have had the band, RnY and DS (although almost all of the banded people are now unbanded.) Let's say we all walk into a Krispy Kreme store and we each order one glazed donut. A banded person, who has the same kind of band experience I did, will plug up and start producing huge gobs of viscous slime that needs to be spit out or barfed up. The RnY person will end up on the floor having a dumping episode. The DS person will enjoy the donut right then...and then need to take a purse-sized can of Ozium to the bathroom with them several hours later. Point is...NONE of the fat people need the lousy donut and each will pay a price. But if you think I enjoyed my barfing into parking lot bushes and my sprints across restaurants because of plugs (and not just from donuts, because I only ate one the whole time I was banded) MORE than I enjoy my stinky poo on the occasions I eat something I probably should not, you are sadly mistaken.

I function in public. My dentist doesn't back off. My hairdresser--who bothers to mention ANY bodily aspect she doesn't approve of--would tell me. The esthetician at my dermatologist's office has been close enough to wax my brows and keeps inviting me back for other services. If she thought I'd stink up the pricey Newport Beach office she and the dermatologist share, she would NOT solicit my business.

We function every day...all around you..and most people do not have any idea they were sitting next to a DS patient on a plane or standing next to one in an elevator.

Are there "exceptions?" Yup. With any surgery? Yup. (See below)

The comments about "rather be fat than deal with _____ " (fill in the blank) don't show a lot of maturity or wisdom. If your mother needs colon surgery to get rid of the colon cancer that might kill her, would you tell her not to because her poo might stink? Would you tell your mother not to have ANY surgery that would save her life but maybe produce some unwanted side effect when she makes some unwise decision? Morbid Obesity kills people just as dead as colon cancer.

Several of the products people here have been laughing at were made for ostomy patients. DO remember to tell your loved ones NOT to have any life saving surgery that you "have heard" might be offensive to you.

I almost forgot this part..."the massive supplementation." ROFLMAO. If you are a woman, you'd BETTER be considering supplements. Don't get pregnant if you can't subject yourself to taking a few vitamins! If you have a LapBand which IS working the way its marketers say it works (somebody must have one of those), then you probably are not getting in as much protein as you need. If you are an obese female living north of the equator (and probably using sunscreen), you likely have a Vitamin D deficiency (does your doctor test for Vit D 25 OH? Probably not. But because they are LOOKING for malabsorption, our doctors do.) So my "MASSIVE supplementation" consists of:

• Multivitamins (BA chewable, also recommended for banded patients)
  
• Calcium (BA chewable, I just double what every woman needs)
  
• Vitamin D (two teeny capsules a day)
  
• Vitamin C (why not?)
  
• Every other day, I throw in either a folic acid or a biotin (both sublingual), because I don't know if I'm getting much of that and it won't hurt anything. I don't "need" them...I'm just adding them "in case."
  

My labs are done more often than the labs of most people here, I'd bet. And I KNOW what my results are. That is a better situation--in my opinion--than to position myself to laugh at others for behavior I THINK they have to engage in while simultaneously guessing that my labs ore okay.

~~~~~~~

The Ugly Part

You want to laugh at people you think have eating disorders? Try this:

CHEW AND SPIT

Gas problems entertain you? You'll enjoy this:

Anyone with this problem??? Gas increase w/pants on!!!!

Do belching and crapping your britches stories tickle you? Enjoy these:

Burps come from no where .............

and

TMI I know, but this was too funny (and gross) not to share.

Finally, when someone complains about others "dissing" their surgery choice and then posts comments to "dis" someone else's surgery choice, how can that person POSSIBLY think he or she is even a little bit better than the person or people they started out complaining about? That is not just ignorant...it's delusional.

Sue

Banded for three (mostly miserable) years, lowest BMI was 40-ish.

DS for two delightful years, current BMI is 30-ish. (Too bad about the part where I live on steak and candy...I'm WORKING on doing without so much candy or moving more...but a BMI of 30 is ten points lower than a band ever got me, so I'm a happy camper.)

Edited March 31, 200818 yr by GeezerSue
typo

Well said Sue. While this thread is amusing in that train-wreck way, it was also excessively hypocritical in piling scorn on the DSers whilst complaining about them scorning LBers... oh the irony.

Well said Sue. While this thread is amusing in that train-wreck way, it was also excessively hypocritical in piling scorn on the DSers whilst complaining about them scorning LBers... oh the irony.

BUT (and that's a big but...) this is not a DS forum. if we were trashing a DS'er on their forum, then that would be a different story...

BUT (and that's a big but...) this is not a DS forum. if we were trashing a DS'er on their forum, then that would be a different story...

I have to agree. No one's hunting down "DS Talk Forum" and bashing DSers. Here, it's been a combination of A) laughing at something that is, quite honestly, slightly amusing in a sad way (charcoal suppositories and inflating undies), and :cursing: venting. Everyone deserves to be able to vent in a safe place, and this is our safe place. If we were going and invading a DS forum and posting shit for everyone to see and attacking people left and right, then I could definitely see where the outrage would be coming from, and I'd probably be just as outraged. But the fact is, that isn't happening.