OK...I feel like I'm returing to an OA meeting...but need to post this for accountability purposes :thumbdown:

I hid from this forum over the past few months because of feeling like a failure. I've been at a stand still since November and even gained a couple of pounds over vacation a couple of weeks ago...

SO, I did a little self psycho-analysis and here are my findings...

I'm a scaredy cat!...

My husband has lost 142 pounds since his surgery (8/6/07)! He was 440 and is now 298! He's looking and feeling wonderful! He works out daily and is eating right. He has optimal restriction and is sailing through the pounds. We've been VERY happily married for over ten years now!

Mind you, I'm 6.5 years older than my husband. He's VERY attractive and travels a lot for work. I began feeling scared as he got smaller and I looked in the mirror and saw a 40 year old looking back! Yep, I'll be 40 in August. Can you say "mid-life crisis"? I got scared that my younger, handsom husband, who has never been with another woman but me, might get curious about other younger, firmer, women and stray. As such, Old habits die hard, and I reverted to my trusty ice cream comfort, coping mechanism. Thankfully, I didn't gain a ton of weight...just a tiny bit, and I attribute that to my band helping me limit portions of the "not so easy to eat" foods.

I realized that he has to make his own decisions and I have to make mine. My self distructive behavior wouldn't keep him faithful...only HE can make that decision! So, I need to be good to myself and be the best ME I can be...and be a good wife too of course

I've also been hiding from my surgeon! I cancelled an appointment because I wanted to go AFTER I had lost some weight. Well, as we all know...that theory rarely pans out and it didn't pan out for me!

So, last week, I started to do some "diet" soul searching. I narrowed my choices down to 2. Weight Watchers and Medifast. I decided on Medifast because there is ZERO guess work, it works GREAT, and it's healthy.

SO, yesterday, I called my surgeon's office and told them I was coming in to buy medifast. Mind you, DH and I were a lapband cover story in a major medical magazine in Green Bay a couple of months ago. When I arrived...I was a celebrity! Everyone had to come out and talk to me...even my surgeon! hehe...I couldn't escape him He was so kind to me...told me I was looking GREAT!! When he saw that I was there to get medifast, his first words were "what? is my band not working for you?" then he giggled. I explained my dillemma and he was so great!!!! He said "Well a lot of people "diet" to lose the weight, then rely on the band to maintain". He made me promise to come in to see him in a couple of weeks. So I made an appointment.

I feel a HUGE weight lifted off. The guilt and self loathing are gone and I'm excited to start losing again. I'm excited to read posts on this forum...get encouragement...and offer encouragement as well.

Well, that's my story and I'm stickin to it

Thanks for reading

Cool!!! I love celebrities!!!

I am glad that your feeling better. It is hard for me to know that men lose so much easier and quicker than us girls!

Remember that you can do this!!!

Brandy

you did the right thing by going back to your Dr. They are there to help us and trust me, you are not his first patient to fall off the wagon, band or not.

Good job. Don;t let those old insecurities get to you. Your husband is with you becasue he wants to be.

There is nothing I can say about how fast men lose weight, except DARN THEM.

Well, You are definitely not alone. I had to go back and see the nurse and I have gained 4 pounds back and probably more than that now. I need a fill but twice the appt was cancelled. I need to call for another appt but my kids always come first and they have been sick. I need alot of encouragement too. I look here for help but I do not seem to get it when I need it. I only post here once in a while but read all the time. I do not get alot of encouragement at home because my husband has the same problem you have. He thinks if I lose weight I will find some one else. I need some one to give me a good kick in the butt to get me going. I also have a sweet tooth that it seems like I cannot live without the chocolate. I am glad to see you back here Musical Momma.

I am "dieting" or at least counting calories and my doc just put me on phentermine for a little added help since I have been on a hump for a while. It seems to be helping. In my eyes, I truly believe the band is for maintenance and it is my job to lose the weight. Don't feel bad about the slip up or using medifast, we are all human. All that matters is that you are getting healthy. I am sure your husband is very proud of you and knows he has a real and beautiful wife and that is something to be thankful for. Good luck with the weight loss to you both!

Musical--

I think you are getting back to the right frame of mind to get back on track! I applaud your recommitment. The band is much like marriage, sometimes it works, sometimes you work it! :thumbdown: This is your tough love with your band and you are going to work it! I know you can do this, I have seen your pics on the before thread, you are rockin it! So you are going through a tough go of it, you can do it!

Good luck to you!

You have come to the right place. We are all very supportive here, and honestly, I don't know what I would do without Lap Band talk!

Stay in touch and you will feel a lot better! good luck!

So glad for you! It is HARD to admit our fears and insecurities, learn from them and move on. Bet it feels GREAT to accept your issues and put them behind you. I've no doubt you will continue to be very successful.

My best to you!

It's a great feeling to get back on track! :wub:

You need to take care of yourself. You can't control your husband's actions. But you can make sure you keep on your weight loss path and look your best. You don't look 40 by the way! You are really as young and as hot as you feel. It's an attitude. I never worry about guys cheating on me cuz I know I am the best they will ever have. If they cheat on me they are stupid. LOL As far as dieting, I need to diet with the lap band. You know that there are plenty of foods (like icecream and chocolate) that we could still eat in unlimited quantities. So we need to diet. I never was able to stick to WW so I don't think I can really stick to diets. So I made up my own diet where I eat 1200 calories a day. 1200 calories of whatever I want, sometimes healthy, sometimes junk food. Sometimes I stick to it, other days I go over that amt of calories. But I am definitely seeing my weight go down. Believe in yourself. Believe in your beauty, no matter what weight you are. Believe in your specialness. Don't worry about your husband. You are just as hot as him. Act like you are god's gift to men and he won't stray.

Thanks for all your kind support :wub: I'd be lying if I said this isn't hell right now...I'm DYING eat some easter candy and eat junky food for easter dinner...Ah well...one minute at a time :frown:

Gosh musical,

Reading your post, I can definitely relate to where you are right now. I have lost about the same amout of weight and am in a similar slump. I have about 40 lbs. more to go. I am down about 65 and think my body is giving me a little grief!

Do you think You need a fill? I am thinking I may need one.

I just wanted to add that any weight gain could mean we need a fill, don't you think?

I just wanted to add that any weight gain could mean we need a fill, don't you think?

Hi Maryrose...yes, we our stats are very similar...we'll get through this though

No, a gain doesn't always mean a fill is needed. Things like candy, ice cream, chips, and the like go through a well restricted band VERY easily and are full of fat and calories. That was the reason for my gain.

However, if you've had a gain, and you're following the pouch tool rules...yep, a fill is probably in order

OP: Medifast ROCKS!! -3.5 pounds in two days! Yea, I know it's all Water weight at the start...but dang it...that water weight has to go too! :wub: The funny thing is...the thicker Meal Replacements, like Chili and oatmeal, fill up my pouch perfectly! It's not an easy program the first few days...because you go into sugar withdrawal...but there is no arguing with the results!

Hi Maryrose...yes, we our stats are very similar...we'll get through this though

No, a gain doesn't always mean a fill is needed. Things like candy, ice cream, chips, and the like go through a well restricted band VERY easily and are full of fat and calories. That was the reason for my gain.

However, if you've had a gain, and you're following the pouch tool rules...yep, a fill is probably in order

OP: Medifast ROCKS!! -3.5 pounds in two days! Yea, I know it's all Water weight at the start...but dang it...that water weight has to go too! :wub: The funny thing is...the thicker meal replacements, like Chili and Oatmeal, fill up my pouch perfectly! It's not an easy program the first few days...because you go into sugar withdrawal...but there is no arguing with the results!

CONGRATS! Water weight or whatever, who cares! lol... Keep up the good work. This sounds like it is the right thing you need to get you back on track.

welcome back MusicalMomma!!!!

I get "quiet" here sometimes too. I usually find that I'm not doing as well when I'm not on here reading!

I also understand your fears :wub: First of all, you're beautiful!!!!!!!! You have done so well on your weight loss

But alas, fears are not always rational. I have the same fear for my DH if he gets thin. He needs to lose about 45# at this point and I've become the sabotager (did I spell that right?) I guess I need to work through some of my own issues, huh?

Anyway - you are not alone {{HUGS}}

wombat