I had a bit of a melt down last night. It all seemed to hit me. I may never eat regular again. I now have surgical scars on a body that had never even been to a hospital. I mean Im having BIG time doubts about this and I can't change back. It's not like ANYTHING Ive ever done before. I had this thing put in. It was my choice, Im the only one to blame. I really did a lot of research before the surgery but nothing could prepare me for how Im feeling. I was really thinking about making myself puke so it would slip and have to be removed.

I really shouldn't be complaining I get a good nights sleep. Ive been sleeping on my stomach since the first night in the hospital. Drinking my 5 meals getting all my Protein. Not getting enough Water, but whatever. Going on walks with the DH to get exercise. Im not really in pain, just discomfort.

I wish I could be more psyched about this but right now I'm just trudging through the day thinking I've made the worst mistake of my life and pissed at myself for putting my family, body and mind through this.

I know this is not what you guys want to hear but It's how Im feeling. I think Im getting depressed.

wow, so sorry to hear about the "blues". Trust me in a few weeks you will be so glad you did this. I was 311 pounds now i'm 218, I was banded feb. 5 th 2007, so it's been over a year! I love the band. I was a size 22, now i'm a 12. Just give it some time and enjoy the ride. I think it is one your going to love. Best of luck!

I've had knee surgery and abdominal surgery and breast surgery.. Believe me the scars will fade with time. Don't tan that area, if you were thinking of it. The sun will make incisions more noticable. I hope you get some positive support I think questionig yourself after surgery is normal.. Good luck to you.

If I lost one pound every time someone posted a feeling like this, I'd be at goal!

My point is, this is a normal thought. Many on the forum have expressed the same thing. You had surgery, you ache, you are mourning what you think it the loss of food ( trust me you will eat again). The anesthesia can do this to us.... keep taking those walks, they help depression.

If the depression continues.... see your DR. It's not normal for it to last too long.

amanda

keep your keed up!! you are doing great!! I think alot of banders go through the "what did I do to myself" phase. I am 4 months out and feel great. I do eat regular food just not the portions that I was eating before. I am lucky that I have not had a fill yet and I am still losing. Without my band I feel I would just continue to gain weight and that to me is worse then the beginning part of the journey. just remember you are worth all the work and you will see how much it was worth the struggle shortly

Keep your head up. My Doctor said the first 6 weeks is really the hardest. So get passed the first six weeks and examine how you feel after you have lost a few lbs and can eat some "real" food. I think you will feel better.

Are you an emotional eater? If you are your body and mind is probabley looking for a new way to deal with the stress you are under (from everyday life and from having surgery) and trying to find a new way to deal with it.

We are here for you.

It must be some feeling you get after this surgery because if you look back at one of my earlier posts it read "I am feeling so down" and I so do not think that way now. I eat completely normal just less of everything. There is nothing I cannot eat yet. On top of it I am loosing weight This to shall pass, I promise. Keep your chin up it will get better.

I have had 2 c-sections, 1 gallbladder removal, and the band. The scars will fade... as your body shrinks so will the scars.

The reality shock does hit some harder then others- the fact is you are changing your life style. Give it time.... this is what the support system is for. Within a few more months, you will have another reality check. You will notice that the new life style seems to feel like you know nothing else, you never ate any different, and you will be healthier.

Wishing you the best!

You will be surprised how normal you can eat after you get through the initial post op diet of liquids and mushies. I eat normal foods and a good quantity of them. Try not to see this as a mistake because if you are willing to give it a chance and work with your band, a year from now you are going to be much thinner and happier and SOOOO GLAD you did this. Who cares about a scar we all have them. I hope you feel better soon.

There is also a lot of hormonal changes going on with the weight loss, that leave you with emotions similar to an ongoing PMS---until your body rebalances. Fat cells hold estrogen, and it dumps into your system as you lose weight. When you cannot deal with the PMS feelings, by eating as we always did....hello depression!

Sorry you are getting hit with it. Can you honestly say before surgery you never looked in the mirror and ask yourself what you did to your body--letting it get so big??? If you had required a c-section you would not kick yourself for a scar. Well you don't have a scar from trying to help your child live, you have a few very minor ones, from trying to help yourself live a healthier, happier, longer life.

Are you exercising yet? Sometimes that helps when depression hits.

Feel free to say ANYTHING here that you are feeling. If you are feeling it, it is not wrong. It simply is what it is....and we can do our best to try to help that way.

Hang in there, you are off to a wonderful start-------35 pounds GONE!!!! Next time you go to the store, walk over and try to pick up 7 -- 5lb bags of potatoes, and see what you have dropped already!

Kat

Amanda:

Give yourself a little time for you band to start working. I found that I was getting depresssed when I was still starving. Once you get some restriction you'll realize that you can still eat, just not alot. Then, after a few more pounds come off you realize that all of a sudden your feet don't hurt any more. Your tight jeans are getting loose. You start to sleep better because it's not so hard to roll over. You realize that you hardly ever get heart burn anymore. You start to see that you might be losing one of your extra chins. It's these things that will help to take you out of your funk.

Take care, and give yourself some more time. I find that a good brisk walk helps me to get out of a depressed mood, especially with music blasting in my mp3 player.

Hope you feel better soon.

Sue

I seem to be coming out of the fog. It is amazing to read all the good ideas and warm support on these boards. Sometimes I get a little scared reading about others tough times, band slips, erosions, food limitations. I guess I need to stay away from those posts for a while and "not put the cart in front of the horse"

Again thank you all.

Thanks for letting us know, you're doing better. Good to hear.

Glad to hear your feeling better Amanda! :thumbup:

I totally agree, stay away from the negative, be aware of it but don't cwell on it. Just curious, have you been taking a liquid vitamin? That really helped me, made a difference in just one day. I use centrum and i will probabaly continue even after i can have chewables. it made such a difference in my energy level and clear thinking. best wishes. g2s

Ive been taking the chewables. maybe I will look into the liquid