<p>Okay!! I want to get outsider opinions on this!! About a year ago I met a guy whom I totally hit it off with....well we started dating and then out of the blue he called and said we needed to take it slow first. I was okay with this seeing as it was probably a good idea. It was around Christmas and he rode up with my friend to surprise me with my Christmas gift which was a beautiful necklace. A week or two later I was at the store in which he works and purchased the necklace and I was looking for it being nosey as usual and I was talking to the later at the counter. She asked me who had purchased my necklace and I told her. Well obviously he had told her that the only person he was dating was Kimberly..keep in mind my name is ASHLEY lol so I freak out I was heading out the door as he was walking in...I could barely speak I was ill because he had not mentioned seeing anyone else..she we went our seperate ways...well recently he has been calling and coming back around. He's still with her but say that he loves me and wants to be with me he made a mistake but doesn't want to hurt her...WHAT SHOULD I DO? Do you think he's playing me or genuine?<img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/help.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Help" smilieid="256" class="inlineimg" /></p>

I'm sorry a dog will always be a dog! Find someone who will do you right! Boy do I need to take my own advise! The right one is out there for everyone.

I have told him a million times that I can't do this anymore that we can't talk to each other and then we start yelling and screaming and somehow he turns it back around and I forget that I am mad at him EVERYTIME and I know I could hang up the phone but I am one of those girls whom you say something outta the way too and I am not backing down at ALL and he makes a smart ass remark and I blow a fuse...problem I know, I am working on it! lol but he's quite the charmer which makes it all worse and how I know that everything he says to me he's obviously saying or has already said to her....but somehow it feels geuine and I don't want to see the bad in him..that's another problem I have I am tooo forgiving and optimistic about things to ever let it go!! He's asked me a million times if I want him to leave her but it's like seriously if you really wanted to leave her for me you would have already!! I can tell myself that but I don't even believe it so I am so not convincing when I tell him either..he just kinda laughs and says your so cute when you mad....GRR!! it's never ending!!

NEVER EVER put up with a liar & a cheat. Once you let someone see what you are willing to put up with they will do it again & again.

I would suspect at your age & once you have confidence from losing weight & feeling good you can tell this guy to hit the road & mean it! The only way to get rid of them is not play the game & not take their calls. He doesn't have anything you can't find everywhere else!

You have to honestly ask yourself if you are putting up with him because deep down you think you can't do better. Well, YOU CAN. Not only can you do better right now, but once you lose the weight, he'll really be sorry he didn't treat you, the person, better.

There are plenty of good guys out there, don't let this asshole give you less than you deserve.

You need to cut all ties.

Marnie is right. You can do better and you will do better once your self-confidence improves. When I was in my 20s I settled for 2nd best because I didn't think that I was worth anything better. I believed that I was a mercy case. Later on I learned differently and I went out with some very interesting men before I settled down at the age of 35. I had finally met the right guy. We are still together and my mate treats me like gold. He is loving, loyal, dotes on me, is very generous in every way (including with some serious bling), and he is a knock-out. Hell, he even adored me after I got fat. And he has nursed me through operations and wicked bouts of depression. If I can get me one of those, so can you!

This clown sounds like an immature, manipulative games player. Dump him. And keep the faith in yourself.

No way, not now, not ever!!

Even if he does finish with this Kimberly girl, pretty soon you will be in her position and he will be giving you the run round while he finds another sideliner.

Married one like this when I was very young, and very very stupid.He wasnt even in a relationship when I met him and he still used to play me, he never changed but I grew up and realised I was worth more than that. FYI he was banging one of my 'friends' when we had a toddler and I was pregnant with our second.

It is fun, and the drama adds a bit of spice but ultimatly he aint a life partner. If you are willing to look at him as a fling and reconcile in your head that his girlfriend knows nothing about this,but just have a bit of fun with him,thats fine.If you are going to get upset when he doesnt ring and he spends time with her, then you arent cut out for the role of the other woman.

Well.....I have the mind set that I can have fun with it and not think twice about it...but I do feel guilty that she doesn't know that he comes to see me. But in my defense she knew we were together when they started dating..So...I guess its a back at cha kinda thing. I don't want to be the "other" woman because that just sounds bad! but I know that is what it is boiling down to and I just don't want that. I've got to tell him to back off but I think instead I am just going to ignore all calls and other forms of communication! I think it'd be easier cause if I talk to him...I'll change my mind. And no it's not cause I think I can't do better. There's a guy whom has been wanting to date me. He owns his own business, he's FINE, owns his home, has an awesome vehicle, awesome family, awesome personality, But I have always been scared to date him for some reason. It's like I don't feel I deserve him so I use this jerkoff as an excuse to not let myself feel anything for the GOD SEND. lol

Well.....I have the mind set that I can have fun with it and not think twice about it...but I do feel guilty that she doesn't know that he comes to see me. But in my defense she knew we were together when they started dating..So...I guess its a back at cha kinda thing. I don't want to be the "other" woman because that just sounds bad! but I know that is what it is boiling down to and I just don't want that. I've got to tell him to back off but I think instead I am just going to ignore all calls and other forms of communication! I think it'd be easier cause if I talk to him...I'll change my mind. And no it's not cause I think I can't do better. There's a guy whom has been wanting to date me. He owns his own business, he's FINE, owns his home, has an awesome vehicle, awesome family, awesome personality, But I have always been scared to date him for some reason. It's like I don't feel I deserve him so I use this jerkoff as an excuse to not let myself feel anything for the GOD SEND. lol

Ditch the asshole. You don't need him he's not sincere. If he wanted to be with you - he would be and he wouldn't be asking you if he should break up with her. Ignore him, you are done with him. You owe him nothing. Let the other guy take you out, give him a chance - who are you to say what he does and does not deserve. Never sell yourself short, and there's no reason why you wouldn't deserve a chance with this guy. Get rid of the scumbag and let the other guy have a chance :smile: *HUG*

Yeh...your all right but its harder than it should be!! I'm just gonna leave it alone and focus on school! lol

Oh, please give the other guy a chance. It will make it easier to forget the jerk guy.

Once a cheater always a cheater....keep that in mind ! I know from experience and other friends experience....He is using you and you dont need it !

Yeh I know...I had one before whom was the same way! I think I am gonna hold out with him for my birthday present..is that wrong of me??

Holding out for the birthday is fine...just dont let ur heart get anymore involved than it already is.....hard to do, but Cheaters are horrible people to be involved with.....I wish you well !

thank you!

You know how I told ya'll he was in Iowa and he left Thursday. Well I haven't heard a peep until about an hour ago he TEXT me and said "didn't forget was okay trip will call first chance I get" lol I haven't called him, text him, or anything before the text and I will continue not to now! I am actually surprised he text already. I was waiting to see how long it would take for him to communicate in any form...he exceeded my expectations tho...surprise surprise.