My surgery date is scheduled for January 25th. I am happy and excited about my decision to have this surgery, but at the same time I have a few doubts. I have

heard from my brother, my best friend and my boss that maybe this isn't really

necessary. "You've lost weight before." "Couldn't you just watch what you're eating and hire a personal trainer instead?" While I don't think they quite understand the effect of their statements will have/nor do they intend them to be negative(?), it still hurts! These statements make me doubt my decision for the long term. I have

debates with myself all the time. Bottom line - I have been overweight for 20 years, I have sleep apnea, the beginnings of diabetes and I am not getting any younger!

I want to sleep without a cpap! buy regular size clothes! have some energy! Thanks for letting me vent. I am sure we have all experienced these negative comments. K

I have a friend, who just at the beginning of her process to have a bypass, told everyone: "The next two years are all about me. Get on board, or get lost."

She was middle aged and her kids were grown and behind her.

I loved the attitude. She has lost almost 200 pounds and is doing great!

(The only thing she did that was really about her was to cook the food she could eat and to refuse to listen to negativity.)

When I met with the psychologist for my initial consult he said something that really applies here. He asked me if my husband was supportive, and I said he was, that he knows how impossible it was for me to keep weight off. I asked if that was an issue for some people and he said it was, that thinner (but not necessarily thin) spouses or family members who attend the sessions with the patient sometimes have the attitude that the person isn't trying hard enough, that they just need to exercise more and eat less, etc. He tells them to try losing just 15 pounds and keep it off for one year if they think it is so easy. The next time they come in he asks how much they lost. They always have some excuse.

I was actually surprised when he told me it took courage to take this step. He said most people who need it more than me never take that step, and he thinks criticism from others is a big part of that. If I know I am doing the right thing I don't care what others think.

Just wondering if you went through with the surgery and how you are doing?? I was having those doubts myself and came to the conclusion that yes I have lost weight on my own but for me it will be a constant up and down battle. I now have my tool to help me in that battle! Ultimately it is our bodies, our health and our lives that are going to change and for the better so screw anybody who can't be happy for that :-)

My best friend told me over a month ago that she was having gastric bypass. She had been researching it for a year, she knew what she was getting herself into, and she wanted me to be excited for her. I tried. I really did. I asked questions because up until then I knew NOTHING about WLS. Apparently, I asked too many questions because she stopped talking to me for two weeks. When she finally did fess up, she said I was negative and making her decision all about me.

Here's the thing...I love her and care about her. I was trying to find out more about WLS so I could support her through all the tough times she would face because that's who I am.I wanted to read about the women who lost their hair- how much did they lose? What was it like for them? What support did they find helpful from their friends and family? What kind of blender should she buy? What kinds of foods should I bring when I come to take care of her post-surgery? The irony is that in my research for her, I found this site and determined that LB is a good choice FOR ME!

I didn't intend to be negative, and I never told her she was taking the easy way out. But reading all these posts over the last month, I realize I should have kept a lot of that to myself and worked through those feelings on my own. Now, we've patched things up for the most part, but she refuses to talk to me about her upcoming surgery, and I don't feel comfortable telling her my news because I'm afraid she'll think I made her decision about me again. It's sad that here is another major life change we could support each other in and my curiosity and her stubbornness ruined it!

If you have a moment, give us an update and let us know how you're doing!

I haven't read all the response, so perhaps this has already been mentioned. Yes, losing weight without the band is possible. But keeping it off is another matter altogether. So your friends/family have seen you lose weight before and they've seen you put it back on. Wouldn't they like to see you keep it off this time? That's the whole point of losing the weight. And beyond about a 35 BMI to lose weight is more difficult and next to impossible to keep off.

I have dieted before. I've lost weight. I want to say the most I've lost on my own was 40 lbs and that was back in HS. Since then I've yo-yoed my way up the scale. With the band, I've not only lost more in one weight-loss endeavor than ever before, but when I've slipped in my eating habits, it hasn't been near as bad as it has been in the past. I know that this time will be for good and it is certainly a relief.