How is your relationship with food post op ?

I’ve always depended on food to fill my emotions when I was depressed or anxious. I absolutely hate it but I am worried about I am going to handle my stress and anxiety after surgery. I want to be healthy and to feel good and not hate whenever people take any pictures of me or hide behind everyone in photos. Go out with my boyfriend and friends and family. :( it’s been so hard because of my weight gain. My sisters had a great dinner with my mom the other day and I didn’t go I missed out on memories because of how nothing fits. So I understand my relationship with food is something I am willing to give up. Especially for my health.

36 minutes ago, Jnpxo2 said:

How is your relationship with food post op ?

I’ve always depended on food to fill my emotions when I was depressed or anxious. I absolutely hate it but I am worried about I am going to handle my stress and anxiety after surgery. I want to be healthy and to feel good and not hate whenever people take any pictures of me or hide behind everyone in photos. Go out with my boyfriend and friends and family. it’s been so hard because of my weight gain. My sisters had a great dinner with my mom the other day and I didn’t go I missed out on memories because of how nothing fits. So I understand my relationship with food is something I am willing to give up. Especially for my health.

This a real thing and something I am sure everyone has been through. My relationship with food was something I never really understood until after my surgery. It helped me to be more aware of my eating cues and what caused me to stuff myself silly. It took me the better part of the year since my surgery to learn better coping mechanisms. When I get anxious I exercise or go for a walk or listen to music. find what works for you. Don't beat yourself up or miss out on life. Hold your head up and know its only temporary and you will be doing something for yourself and only yourself that will benefit you health wise down the road. If you need help ask for it. In the beginning I spoke to my doctor and had to go on anti anxiety medication until I worked through it. Its the best thing I have ever done for me. Not for anyone else but me!! ❤️

At 4.5 months post op, I'm really starting to feel the food issues. I can now eat a larger amount of food, I can tolerate pretty much everything, and my hunger has returned. Now, the real work begins...

I knew that I was going to have a problem, so I started therapy a couple of months before my surgery. I think it's helping.

The time when you are losing is a wonderful opportunity to change your relationship with food. To assess the situations & emotions that drive you to eat. Many of us used food to comfort & soothe us & doing the head work is an important aspect of the long term success of your weight loss. Some found therapy very helpful in discovering how to take away the power of those emotional drives & learning how to better manage them. (Your surgeon or their team will be able to recommend someone you can work with if you.)

That old adage of eating to live not living to eat is true but the realisation & acceptance of it doesn’t occur overnight. I still find enjoyment in eating, dining out, etc. but I don’t turn to food to make me feel better. You can’t totally get rid of cravings (desire for specific foods, textures or flavours) but they’ve lost most of their power over me now & occur infrequently. If I do crave something, I recognise the craving for what it is & I choose what to do about it. I may ignore it or if I choose to satisfy it I make better food choice & watch portions. Want something salty have nuts. Want something sweet have fruit. I used to enjoy having something sweet after dinner & I’d often buy a special sweet treat on the weekends (too many patisseries). Now I rarely eat sweet foods & rarely go to the patisserie unless buying for others. Don’t want it or miss it either.

11 hours ago, Jnpxo2 said:

How is your relationship with food post op ?

I’ve always depended on food to fill my emotions when I was depressed or anxious. I absolutely hate it but I am worried about I am going to handle my stress and anxiety after surgery. I want to be healthy and to feel good and not hate whenever people take any pictures of me or hide behind everyone in photos. Go out with my boyfriend and friends and family. it’s been so hard because of my weight gain. My sisters had a great dinner with my mom the other day and I didn’t go I missed out on memories because of how nothing fits. So I understand my relationship with food is something I am willing to give up. Especially for my health.

I would say my relationship with food has improved a lot but that took some time. I'm one year post op and now I focus more on the quality of food rather than the quantity. I was just devouring my food before the WLS but now I seem to savor and enjoy food better. For instance, if we go out to have burger - I'll ask for a burger with less cheese, sauces etc and swap the fries with salad if possible. I will also eat the patty and leave the bread. I'd share the dessert with my wife, just one spoon and I'm satisfied. I also don't keep any junk food at home. If I get the urge to eat something, I will eat a cucumber with lime and salt and that will satisfy the cravings.

My advice to you - Focus on losing weight for now and enjoy the little victories you achieve along the way and you will soon be able to join your family for meals etc but in a healthier way. Good luck

I spent the better part of my 40s as a self-hating shut-in who avoided going out, hated photos taken of me, and wanted to vanish when my skinny partner would introduce anyone to me. I missed out on a decade of life. Yeah, I would comfort eat, but that's the vicious cycle. Overeat - gain weight - feel miserable - eat more - gain weight. Food was never my friend pre-surgery, despite the fact that I ran to it for comfort.

Now that I'm on the other side I am happy, I have my life back again, I love going out, will photo-bomb anyone anytime, and my partner has been teased more than once that he's "punching above his weight" when I'm introduced as his partner (they would not have said that a year and a half ago!). Food IS my friend now, because I've changed my relationship with it. I enjoy nourishing food, and will absolutely eat a couple of bites of something traditionally "naughty" as an occasional treat without guilt. A couple of bites is all I want now. It's been a lot of hard work, but absolutely worth it.

Best distraction I found as the weight started coming off was moving. Started walking, then riding a bike. Even getting up and cleaning. And as others have suggested, if you have an emotional attachment to food, bariatric therapy is recommended.

LOTS OF GOOD INFO ABOVE…

I’ll just add, I plan to try to create better “habits”. Read up on habits, it’s very interesting how the mind works. Use the time of reduced hunger to form new habits.

Like omrhsn says above, explore new foods that are healthy. Make finding new foods and ways to prepare a hobby/habit.

Or maybe geek out a bit with journaling, logging, charting your food and food weights, recipes, body measurements, eating times, etc. Make this a habit.

1 hour ago, Fred in Pa said:

LOTS OF GOOD INFO ABOVE…

I’ll just add, I plan to try to create better “habits”. Read up on habits, it’s very interesting how the mind works. Use the time of reduced hunger to form new habits.

Like omrhsn says above, explore new foods that are healthy. Make finding new foods and ways to prepare a hobby/habit.

Or maybe geek out a bit with journaling, logging, charting your food and food weights, recipes, body measurements, eating times, etc. Make this a habit.

I definitely "geeked out" and did a lot of journaling, this is ultimately how I learned my eating cues and what was happening when I would grab something. It really helped.

6 hours ago, omrhsn said:

I would say my relationship with food has improved a lot but that took some time. I'm one year post op and now I focus more on the quality of food rather than the quantity. I was just devouring my food before the WLS but now I seem to savor and enjoy food better. For instance, if we go out to have burger - I'll ask for a burger with less cheese, sauces etc and swap the fries with salad if possible. I will also eat the patty and leave the bread. I'd share the dessert with my wife, just one spoon and I'm satisfied. I also don't keep any junk food at home. If I get the urge to eat something, I will eat a cucumber with lime and salt and that will satisfy the cravings.

My advice to you - Focus on losing weight for now and enjoy the little victories you achieve along the way and you will soon be able to join your family for meals etc but in a healthier way. Good luck

EXCELLENT advice. I too am a year out and it does help to put your all into the first year of really measuring and watching your food choices really well..

On 03/07/2023 at 14:12, TRAVELRN said:

This a real thing and something I am sure everyone has been through. My relationship with food was something I never really understood until after my surgery. It helped me to be more aware of my eating cues and what caused me to stuff myself silly. It took me the better part of the year since my surgery to learn better coping mechanisms. When I get anxious I exercise or go for a walk or listen to music. find what works for you. Don't beat yourself up or miss out on life. Hold your head up and know its only temporary and you will be doing something for yourself and only yourself that will benefit you health wise down the road. If you need help ask for it. In the beginning I spoke to my doctor and had to go on anti anxiety medication until I worked through it. Its the best thing I have ever done for me. Not for anyone else but me!! ❤️

This was so helpful. It also reminds me to give myself grace thank you so much for your words :,)

This was just so much great advice this community is so awesome thank you guys for the support

For me, as someone mentioned above, NOW - food is my friend. I see it as fuel, I feel completely happy and satisfied when I prepare meals that are healthful and delicious, and that food really IS my fuel. I am 12 years out and am in my late 60's. When I get hungry now, I NEED to eat... if I get too busy at work and realize I have a headache....it's because I forgot to eat. I have prepared myself my lunch.... I do it every night, and shop so that I have great choices to put together. My sliced turkey, with humus and avocado and tomato in a low carb 70 calorie wrap is perfect !

I enjoy meals, I enjoy being active and being able to work and garden and take care of my mini-ranch. I also eat a treat every darned day, because I plan it, and I can, and I want to. Small treats ? Yes. But treats.

I have learned to see food as what it is. Our fuel. How we get vitamins and minerals and all the things we need to be able to do the things we want and need to do in life.

I am 4 months post op (tomorrow) and I am noticing that I need to start figuring out what works for me as a sustainable plan for the rest of my life. For now, I am working on intuitive eating combined with still logging my food. I am choosing to still log my food (in MFP) so that I have an understanding of how often I am feeling true hunger and also to understand the correlation between what my body is needing and why. I think logging/journaling is a good way to gain insight and help refine areas that need adjusting.

Up until now, the weight loss has been easy, but I am starting to notice trends (mainly related to my menstrual cycle) and I want to nip the bad habits and reinforce the good habits. It is an interesting time post op. You get quite an education on your mind/body connection. My biggest advice is when you start to notice a trend you don't like, start finding the tools to deal with it. Use the time post op to really get an idea of how your body works and get in tune with what your body needs. The immediate post op is a great time to really reset and adjust so that you are successful for the rest of your life!