My BMI is 44.9 how bad is that and i weight 288 so defeated and at a loss as to where did i go wrong to get this big i think it was the day when my jeans wouldn't latch, for lack of a better word it really sucks because i am the only one who is obese ( call it what it is ) in my family who are all state troopers and firefighters filled with machismo who think they can do no wrong i have the kind family are typical " do as i say not as i do" the cops especially say this, they forget i changed their diapers and wiped there bottoms so the cant act better than they are not going to find out about my SX they do not deserve to know , i am, a good guy as we ALL ARE i feel so guilty but as time goes by i will come out of it a better man . like i did in the past, take care guys and be good to yourselves because no one else will.

I think a lot of us here feel the shame and take the blame for our weight issues. In part yes we have all made bad food choices but weight gain and our bad relationship with food are for various reasons. During this process, you will speak with a psychologist or therapist and they can help you better understand your relationship with food and how to make it better. You are taking steps to improve your health and life. Look forward to what will be and dwell on was has been. Best of luck

You don't have to struggle alone, man.

It wasn't very easy to admit I had an eating disorder. It wasn't easy to accept the fact that you have to *not* lose weight while dealing with it. It wasn't easy to get bariatric surgery and pay for it myself because the healthcare system simply refuses to even take a look at guys with obesity.

https://www.verywellmind.com/male-eating-disorders-4140606

Family are the hardest to deal with and often don't accept us as we are. WLS is NOT the easy way out and you are not a bad person for having weight issues. Good luck on your WLS journey.

First and foremost, let me say that weight is NOT an indication of character or worth. You are a worthy, loved, valuable human just because you exist. Your weight is a piece of you, but it is not the whole of you. So take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are NOT your weight, you are YOU. As for the rest of it, I would HIGHLY suggest some counseling prior to surgery. Unraveling some of the emotional stuff tied to eating and weight has been extremely helpful for me. Learning new coping mechanisms and learning to love myself well have been invaluable on this journey. You deserve to be happy and healthy both physically and emotionally. Best of luck to you!