Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
  • Appearance

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Sex!!!

Yeah look at all you little pervs!! I knew that would catch you attention LOL!! Just kidding! But I was wondering ladies and gents... Is the sex better after band and some pounds have fell off. I know that I can't wait to have sex once I am thinner LOL!!! I tired of being the "pillow princess" and getting winded when I really wanna ride the hell out of my husband... But I wanna be so freaky with him but the weight restricts me from alot of things and I hate that so much!! I just can't wait to be maybe 40-50 pounds lighter. But I would like feedback from banded and people waiting to be banded.... Like what changed after banding and what you are looking forward to I am so excited and hoping for a January surgery date!! :bounce:I wish it would happen sooner than later!! I am so embarrassed to say it but we are all family here!! But I am so ready to see my vagina when I look down LOL!! Spouses please speak out as well if you have a banded partner how have the "changed" in the bedroom?!?!?

  • Replies 120
  • Views 11.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

i know we are young..but god do we act old.

i think he may have diabetes too and i think it effects his drive. and i have to make an extra effort because he is not instantly turned on by my body..and sometimes..honestly..by the time we get into the bed..i'm too tired for effort. i just want him to be 16 again and get hard just because he thinks about a pencil...haha..and boy do i miss the 12 hour sex adventures and the multiple orgasms on both parts..now it's hit or miss with him...if he hits and i missed...i gotta wait some hours to get some more...or just go take care of myself..lol.... i think that will get better too. let me say that if i were satisfied with my body he probably would be, but i'm not and it shows. if i even just lose 15 lbs and i'm all happy with myself, it's like i'm a new person in his eyes.

we do spice it up some...new movies here...new mirrors there...new this....

I LOVE THE POINTS SYSTEM...haha..i need to try that with dh. i made him a coupon book for v-day once..and it is still in his drawer. wish he would make one for me...lol.

oh yeah..i should have added that it is EXTREMELY hard for me to orgasm..and sometimes..i just don't care enough about it, because i will not climax.

but ..if i get all hot first...no problem..but it's not always easy to get me all hot first....weird..i know...

but the swing...and the ball...and being picked up over his shoulder.....omg..just thinking about it makes me want to go jump him (he's a very sexy man..8 pack abs, pecs to die for)....

i think you girls just helped me end a dry spell....oooooooo..can't wait to get home from work..think we will tell ds that we have to have some "grown up talk" and lock the door....

My sex drive has stopped!!! I don't know what is wrong with me... Maybe it is not the weightloss it has to be something else. My husband has been pretty good about it. Anyone else have this problem?:cry

I had a very decreased sex drive at one point, and went to my gyno about it. She said that when you lose weight fat, you also lose hormones. You may need to get your hormone levels checked

I had a very decreased sex drive at one point, and went to my gyno about it. She said that when you lose weight fat, you also lose hormones. You may need to get your hormone levels checked

tell me more about this please..how do you get your hormone levels checked exactly. i'm curious because i think i show signs of having excess testosterone, which i believe is associated with pcod. i have dark facial hair, a low drive, cramp like crazy, and i have INSANE migraines each and every month. and pmdd isn't even the half of it...my hormones make me crazy in many ways.

i've talked to my pcp about it, and she put me on yaz, she said it helps...now i have acne...:faint: ..thanks...one more thing to not like about myself..haha.

i've been on birth control since i was 12. if i do not take birth control, i have one extreme or the other. i have amenorhea (no period) or i have one literally every 5 days. :faint:again...not fun. actually, i had no period for a solid year when i got pregnant...doctor's said it was a MIRACLE haha..they were anticipating an early hysterectomy for me from endometriosis...

now..i've had son and i've had cervical cancer..early stages, had have my cervix removed..not it has flipped..wth..how does that happen...likely will not be able to have another child..so i'm glad i did get pregnant when i did ..even though i was "knocked up" by dh..because he was an immature teenager at the time and he wasn't ready...so i lied and said it wasn't his...

ok...enough of my rambling..tell me more about this hormone check.

  • Author

LMAO!! GO FOR IT BANDSTER... MY DH IS MILITARY AND HE IS HOT TOO... DAMN IS HE SEXY ... 6 PAC ... NICE BUFF ARMS ... OHHH HE LOOKS SO DAMN GOOD!! HE WILL BE HOM ON FRIDAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS U GUYS MIGHT NOT SEE ME MUCH HE BUT JUST THINK ... OHHHH I KNOW WHAT APPLES IS DOING LOL BOBBING FOR APPLES LMAO!! BUT I LIKE THE COUPON IDEA... AND THE POINT SYSTEM. I WILL BE ABLE TO DO MORE THINGS LIKE THIS ONCE I GET TO TX WITH HIM HE WAS STATIONED THERE AND HE HAD TO LEAVE BEFORE ME ... I SHOULD BE THERE NO LATER THAN MARCH!! SO HOPEFULLY I WILL BE BANDED AND LOOKING SLIMMER ME SO WE CAN GET IT INNNNNN!!! LOL ... WE ARE GETTING THE DAMN SWING AND THE BALL!! BUT ALSO BANDSTER IF YOUR HUSBAND IS DIABETIC THAT WOULD AFFECT THE SEX... MY FRIENDS BF IS DIABETIC AND HE CAN'T GET HARD AND HE IS 48 ... THAN ONCE HE GETS HARD HE CAN KEEP IT THAT WAY SHE IS VERY FUSTRATED CAUSE THEY USED TO BE REAL FREAKS !! AND HE DOESN'T WANNA GO AND GET HELP ... THE DOC TOLD HIM IF HE LOSES WEIGHT HIS DIABETES WILL GO AWAY CAUSE HE IS TYPE 2 ... SO ALL THEY CAN REALLY USE ARE TOYS ... BUT I GUESS SHE HAS GOTTEN KINDA USED TO IT ... I keep telling her to look in to getting the erec aid!! BUT I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS YOUR DH'S PROBLEM ... JUST SHARING MY KNOWLEDGE. I KNOW I WOULD HATE TO HAVE TO GET A TOY EVERY TIME ... I LIKE THE SKIN ON SKIN ... MEAT ON MEAT ... MY FLESH HIS FLESH FEELING YA KNOW.

  • Author
tell me more about this please..how do you get your hormone levels checked exactly. i'm curious because i think i show signs of having excess testosterone, which i believe is associated with pcod. i have dark facial hair, a low drive, cramp like crazy, and i have INSANE migraines each and every month. and pmdd isn't even the half of it...my hormones make me crazy in many ways.

i've talked to my pcp about it, and she put me on yaz, she said it helps...now i have acne...:faint: ..thanks...one more thing to not like about myself..haha.

i've been on birth control since i was 12. if i do not take birth control, i have one extreme or the other. i have amenorhea (no period) or i have one literally every 5 days. :faint:again...not fun. actually, i had no period for a solid year when i got pregnant...doctor's said it was a MIRACLE haha..they were anticipating an early hysterectomy for me from endometriosis...

now..i've had son and i've had cervical cancer..early stages, had have my cervix removed..not it has flipped..wth..how does that happen...likely will not be able to have another child..so i'm glad i did get pregnant when i did ..even though i was "knocked up" by dh..because he was an immature teenager at the time and he wasn't ready...so i lied and said it wasn't his...

ok...enough of my rambling..tell me more about this hormone check.

I WASN'T LAUGHING AT THIS SECTION BANDSTER BUT NOT THAT U MENTION IT ... DO YOU HAVE PCOS ?? CAUSE I DO TOO... I WAS JUST DIAGNOSED THOUGH... AND SOMETIMES I DONT FEEL HORNY AND AT OTHER TIMES I DONT BUT ME AND MY HUSBAND DO SEE EACH OTHER OFTEN SO WE GO AT IT LIKE CRAZY WHEN WE DO ... BUT I THINK THE PCOS STUFF DEFINETELY PLAYS APART IN IT BECAUSE I DONT FEEL SEXY WITH THE "NOT LIKEING MY APPEARANCE" SYMPTOM

i have not been diagnosed with pcos, but i have not been to a real gyno in years. i show many symptoms.

thanks for sharing about the diabetic thing. thankfully he can get hard and he does often, sometimes it just takes more to get it there (my not even be related to sugar..it's probably in his head (pun intended)). sometimes i want him to be physically attracted to me and not have to work for although i know that he isn't. he loves me and he thinks that i am beautiful, but it affect the raw attraction aspect of it. you know what i mean...??? he on the other hand is fit..and honestly..and i'm not being mean in any way..but i have never been attracted to heavier men..it just isn't there for me. and no matter how "thick" i have gotten my men have always been cut. if he were as obese as i am, i would need help getting "wet" too. i need help now, but it's not because of his looks, sometimes i just have a hard time getting my mind to shut off.

i didn't think you were laughing at me. you are hilarious. i love your posts. i bet you will be so glad when you get to see your husband. i live in jacksonville, arkansas and there is a base here. i believe there may be another in arkansas, but it is the main one. it is air force. anyways, most of the people that live here are military, so i know what you are talking about. i also work at a mortgage company and about 90% of our loans are military so i talk to a lot of seperated spouses.

oh..and toys..i love them. well..i say i do, but i do not have a running collection and i tend not to go toward anything that penetrates. i know..i know tmi. but if all i ever had to use was a toy i would die. dh has gotten me some for b-days and stuff and he lets incorporate them (on myself---unless it is a sleeve or something)..but the weight kind of affects that too..sometimes it is too hard to reach areas that need to be contacted because my gut is in the way, or my arms are just too short...or you get the point.

SOOO..losing weight will help with that for sure. then i can just incorporate my toys whenever i want. dh doesn't mind, as long as i enjoy it. plus i tend to let him get away with more (i have a pain during sex) when i do incorporate because it helps relax muscles, and he can be as rough as he wants.

ahahahahaha..i'm literally going to jump him tonight.

oh and funny thing..i used to not be able to treat him orally very often because of my neck...ooo when i went to the chiro for the very first time..i wouldn't stay away from him...i was "bobbin" all day..ahahahahah

Well now the old lady of the bunch is going to chime in!!

Laura, no laughin' on the other thread girl!

Now as for your swing. Do not plan on hanging it over the bed. When you think about it--DH wants to be able to plant his feet on the ground--works much better. With that in mind, you can usually hide the hook with a plant or a light cord. You could even put it in one of your extra rooms, where there would not be a question if anyone saw it.

Now to be 100% honest, we likely spent as much time preparing to hang ours, hanging it, and worrying about it....than we have really using it! Keep in mind ours is more than a few years old!!!

And as suggested the hook is actually in the extra bedroom---there was nowhere in our room it did not look obvious. In our house we have a attic on one end, and full access crawl space throughout the rest. We DID re-enforce the ceiling. We double the ceiling joist, and then added cross beams. I believe he fitted 4X4's between the existing beams, and mounted the screw all the way through one of them. My DH did his own thing with it, I cannot tell you exactly how he did it, but it managed.

I always felt the bulges of where the swing ended and I began bulging around it---and hated it, felt like it was deforming me!!! It also made me kinda roll up (for lack of a better description) ----I mean it holds your legs in a raised position, and your shoulders as well, so the natural hang, of it draws you together. Well I already had (still have way too much of it) a huge belly, and it just felt like it was squishing me all up in it, my boobs, belly ---all of it, felt right there in your face, obvious! Now I do realize that was likely NOT what he was focusing on....the problem was I was focusing on it, and not enjoying the experience, which lessened his as well.

With over 100 pounds gone, and my confidence returning, it is still not a good position for me. But had I had it at y'alls age, and when I was thin, I probably would have loved it!

Losing weight has definitely made a difference. I have never had any complaints about the quality or the frequency---but my own body image, set some limitations. Years ago, we did a lot of traveling, and we were always looking for an old road to pull off on--well then came all the weight, and we had many years we would have needed a van!

I know he likes the change, he is always commenting on how he used to only be able to link his fingers around me when he hugged me tight, and now he can grab his own elbows, and have room. He joins me more in the shower---we fit better!!! He joins me in the tub-----for years, standing up in a slippery tub to get out, with all the weight, kept me taking showers and missing the bubbles.

With all of this though, I will have to say, I never really lost my flexibility--even fat I was not easy to wind, and I could always get my legs up over his shoulders kind of thing. I think a lot of that depends on how you carry your weight. But I totally relate to the thinking that your arms are going to collapse, before he does kind of thing!

Weight loss has helped a lot, mentally as well as physically. Y'all got a long time to be happy and healthy in your sex lives, get it figured out now!!!

Now Laura.....grab a Santa hat (and nothing else), a big ol' candy cane, and the cam corder, and make your honey happy!!!!

Kat

Join the conversation

You can post as a guest; create a free account to track replies, follow topics, and be part of the largest weight loss surgery community.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.