Pre-op suppository and SHORT ARMS!
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I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and will be having surgery at 12:30 P.M. today. The doctor gave me a suppository laxative to be inserted at 8:00 P.M. last night. Now I can reach back there, but unfortunately my arms are too short to get the suppository in far enough so I had to commission my DH to help me put it in and it was NOT CUTE! I just have to share the story because it is so funny.......so here's the situation:
We are in a hotel room, directly across from the elevator. I assume the position for my dh to insert the suppository, he snaps on the rubber glove with authority, verbally declares himself "Dr. Big Daddy" and he starts putting it in.
Unfortunately, half of it broke off so we have to go for round 2 which is where the fiasco begins!
Now he is getting really frustrated and starts raising his voice issuing the following commands that seemed to echo throughout the room:
"Hold your butt cheeks apart so I can get it all in.
Stop squeezing your butt cheeks together, everytime I get it in, it keeps sliding out.
Come on baby, I need you to relax so I can get it, stop tightening up." (Come on, that is an exit only area for me and I am not used to having something shoved up my rear so naturally I am tense.)
Then, he inserts it in as far as it will go,:omg: and he has long fingers! So now I yell at him....
"Ow, you put it in too far, that hurts." He yells back,
"Well, your squeezing your butt cheeks too tight and I had to shove it in deep to make sure it stays!"
I can now hear people laughing in the hallway, remember our room is directly across from the elevator. Can you imagine what the people at the elevator must have been thinking?????? I know they heard us because I could hear them laughing. Well needless to say, I started cracking up and of course the darned thing didn't stay in!
Now the worst part is, he has to do this with the anti-nausea suppositories for the next week!
At this rate, I may forget all about the pain in my incisions because I am being sodomized every 8 hours by suppositories from Dr. Big Daddy. 
Just thought I would share that disgusting and funny story. I will be leaving for surgery in a few hours. I will let everyone know when I am back at the hotel.