divaofsongs

I have been a member here since 2007 and at one time I was a contributing member. I have been gone from the sight for several years now but I am back. I am writing to tell my story in hopes that I can find some much needed support and also maybe give a word or two of advice to those who think they can outsmart the band, eat around it and most importantly, to those who are abusing the band or using it as a crutch instead of a tool. This story is long but I believe it will help so many and possibly even save someone’s life. I hope I am posting in the right area, if not, maybe a mod can move it. I got my band on December 10th of 2007 and I was very excited and hopeful that it was going to be the answer to my prayers. I weighed about 380 pounds the day of my surgery and wanted desperately to find a way to get control of my life-long emotional eating problem. Although I lived in Phoenix, AZ, I had my surgery done near Denver, CO because I found a U.S. based doctor that provided the band at a discounted rate and I did not want to go to Mexico. I was a cash pay patient and I had to borrow the money from my dad to get the surgery so I needed to find the best bargain for my money. My husband and I drove to Colorado to get the surgery done and 2 days after my surgery, I got in a car and traveled back from Colorado to Arizona with my new saving grace installed and a sense of hope that I would finally be able to lose the weight that had been making me miserable most of my life. Just like most people, I was given rules/instructions about only full liquids the first 2 weeks, the basic band diet of how much to eat afterwards, no soda, no drinking with meals, when to get fills, etc. With the band in place but no Fluid in it yet, I was yet to experience this thing they called restriction and I was eager to get my first fill so I could start to reap the benefits of my newly installed ring of hope. During the first 2 weeks, I was hungry! I mean I was VERY hungry and full liquids was just not cutting it for me. I tried my best to stick to it but after about 5 days, I decided that I would just try to eat ONE french fry and “see what happened.” I ate one and oh my goodness, it tasted soooooo good. I waited a few minutes and nothing happened. Nothing! Ok, so maybe I will try one or two more since obviously it is not doing any harm and I didn’t have any fill in yet. What could go wrong, right? That night I ate about 10 fries. The next day, realizing that nothing bad happened from my french fry episode, I started adding little bits of solid food here and there and by the end of day 8, I was eating small portions of solid food a few times a day. On the morning of day 9, I woke up and I was just not feeling right. I was cold and no matter what I did, I could not get warm. Having 200+ pounds of fat to insulate me, being cold was something I was not accustomed to. I was always hot so this feeling of chills was definitely something new for me. I also started noticing that my stomach was making this loud gurgling sound. It sounded like the stomach fluids were working overtime and my stomach ached. On a hunch I took my temperature and was shocked to find out that I had a fever of 102.9. I asked my husband to take me to the ER since it seemed that there was something possibly band surgery related going on. Long story short, I ended up having a micro-perforation in my stomach and almost died. They admitted me to ICU and the local Lap-Band doctor said that the doctor that performed the surgery had pulled the stitching too tight and left a very microscopic tear in the stomach tissue. I admitted to him that I had been eating solid foods too soon and he said that may have aggravated the issue but was not the cause. I was put on nothing by mouth for 14 days. I could not even have an ice chip. The doctor said that I had a 50/50 chance of my stomach healing on its own and if not, they would have to do surgery to attempt to repair the small tear but that it was a very dangerous surgery and could be fatal. Thank God that after 2 weeks of nothing by mouth and an IV bag full of proton pump inhibitors, the tear healed on its own and I was released. Because of the tear, I had to wait 6 weeks from my release from the hospital to get my first fill. The time came for my first fill and I was so excited. I have a 14cc band and they started me off with 5 cc’s of fluid. I had the fill done under flouro so I could see that the fill slowed down the flow of liquid. I wanted more but the fill doctor said I had to take it slow and adjust it slowly to the right amount, until I found my sweet spot. With 5 cc’s of fill, I still did not notice any restriction at all so I made a follow up appt for more fill 4 weeks later. This time when I went in, they added 4 more cc’s and I was at 9 cc’s in my 14 cc band. For the first time, I was starting to notice restriction and I was able to eat way less. Although I did have restriction, I wanted more because I felt that I could still eat more than ¾ cup at a time so I made a 3rd appt and had more fill put it. This time they only added a little less than 1 cc. I swallowed the barium under flouro and I could see that the flow was much slower this time. They handed me my bottle of Water and asked me to slowly drink it and let them know if I had any issues. After a few sips, I could feel the water sitting in my esophagus, waiting to slowly trickle down but I did not tell them. I finally had really good restriction and although I should have had about ½ cc removed, I left with the additional 1 cc of fill. This is when things really started to change and the weight started to drop off. I could barely eat 2 tablespoons of food and I was pb’ing several times a day. Even though I finally could not eat very much at all and had super tight restriction, the emotional urge to binge was still there. I can’t believe I am admitting this but there were several times that I would go to a fast food restaurant, order a couple of cheeseburgers and fries, chew them up in huge bites and spit them into a bag, just so I could feel that sense of relief I used to get from binging. Thinking back on it, it was really gross and more importantly it was really sad and should have been a warning sign that I have emotional eating issues but like most people, I turned a blind eye to what was going on in my own body/mind/life. At this point, it had been about a year since my surgery and the weight was coming off at a steady pace. I was down about 125 pounds since my surgery date. On a daily basis, I was pb’ing 10+ times a day, every time I attempted to eat even the tiniest bite of solid food. FYI: This means my band was too tight! If you are unable to eat solid food without pb’ing, after properly chewing and taking very small bites, there is a problem. Even though I knew this, I ignored it because I was finally, for the first time in my life, losing weight! Since I was unable to eat solid foods, I lived on creamy Soups, mashed potatoes, pudding, ice cream, etc. As time went by, I noticed I was able to eat more and more of the slider foods so I made another appt to get more fill put in because the weight loss started really slowing down. In hindsight, the problem was not that I needed more fill, the problem was that I was eating high calorie slider foods because the band was too tight to eat solid foods and this was slowing down my weight loss. I also started taking little sips of fluid with my food because I noticed that I was able to eat more when I did this. I was emotionally eating, just like before, but I just changed the way I did it. In hindsight, I should have had about ½ cc of my fill removed and then I would have been able to eat about ¾ cup of solid food without pb’ing and if I would have followed the band rules and ate properly and healthy, I would have had absolute success. However, this was not the case with me. I wanted to do it my way and my way it was. I went for another fill but this time I used a different fill provider that did not use flouro. I had another cc of fluid put in and that made me have a total of almost 11 cc’s in my 14 cc band. Then a few months later I had another cc put in and to make a long story short, at the end, I had almost 12.5 cc’s in my 14 cc band. Over time, even with all of that fluid in my band, I was able to start eating more solid foods. By the end of this fiasco, I could eat an entire McDonald’s hamburger and a small fry. I knew something was wrong. It had to be. I thought I had eroded, or was losing fluid or something. Something had to be going on because I could eat way too much for the amount of fluid I had in and what used to make me pb was not even phasing me anymore. I went for another appt to see what was going on and had the doctor that uses flouro to look at everything while I was under flouro. All the fluid was still in the band, there was no leak. He said I had really good restriction but was concerned because he noticed my esophagus looked enlarged and said that I needed to go on liquids only for 2 weeks and then come back to see if the esophagus looked normal again. Sadly, he did not remove my fluid at the time and that was a HUGE mistake on his part. He should have taken out the fluid but he didn’t and I left the appt a hot mess. I tried to stay on liquids for 2 weeks but it only lasted a couple of days and I was back to just like before. I did not return for the 2 week follow up and continued to do the same thing I was doing because my biggest fear was to have all the fluid removed and be able to eat like I did before the band and gain all the weight back that I lost. For more than a year I continued with the same amount of fluid in my band and eating slider foods and drinking with my meals and just continued on in this craziness. In January of 2011, I was standing in my kitchen and I started to feel really sick like I was going to pass out. I had my husband take me to the hospital and they ran some test and told me that I was anemic and my blood level was low, indicating that I had some sort of internal bleeding going on but they did not know where it was coming from. I was admitted to the hospital and they ran more tests and didn’t find anything and sent me home. This horrible feeling of passing out continued for months and each time I went to the ER, they told me my blood levels were low but just above where I needed a blood transfusion. I had no insurance so I was only able to get care at the ER. In June of 2011, I ended up back in the ER and they admitted me this time. They did an endoscopy and colonoscopy looking for the source of the slow bleed. They found it on the endoscopy. It was coming from my esophagus! I had stretched it out so much from the fill being so tight that I had caused a small tear in the tissue. Once again, here I was in the hospital with another tear! Only this time I did it to myself. The doctor said my esophagus had turned into a stomach and the area where my esophagus ended and my stomach began had become one. They removed every drop of fill from my band at that time and after 2 more weeks of nothing by mouth, that tear healed as well and I was released and feeling much better. A year later I had another Endoscopy and everything was back to normal again. I never had any of the fluid put back in my band and over the last 2 years, I gained back every single pound I lost, plus some. I now weigh 400 pounds. This is my biggest warning: If you are finding that you can eat more and more and you are pushing yourself and the restriction is lessening, there may be a problem. For me, my esophagus had turned into a stomach and was holding entire meals! If you cannot keep solid food down the majority of the time, then you are likely too tight. I used the band as a crutch instead of a tool as it was intended. I am starting over again and have an appt for a fill tomorrow. I am going to do it right this time and I will actually follow the rules this time. My life depends on it. I have to lose the weight or I am going to die. Period. I would be happy to elaborate on anything for anybody, just message me. I will be hoping for support from fellow bander’s and if I can help anyone at all or answer any questions, please let me know.

Hello everyone, I am new here and hate to start my posts out like this but I am just so discouraged, I don't know what to do with myself. I am 3 weeks post op, had the gastric bypass on 11/19/2015, and have not lost a single pound since the day of my surgery. I lost over 40 pounds the month before my surgery but since the day I came home from surgery, I have not lost a single pound and I am beginning to feel like a failure. I am eating less than 500 calories a day, sometimes not even that much, taking my Vitamins and Protein like I should. I just started on soft foods but I am keeping my carbs under 25 a day and have been since 6 weeks ago when I started my pre-op diet that I lost almost 60 pounds on. I am not sure what I am doing wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something like this where they were not losing any weight at all in the beginning? I can't imagine this could last forever, I mean eventually the scale has to catch up to only eating 500 or less calories a day, right? I have PCOS and severe metabolic resistance, not sure if that matters or not. I appreciate any encouragement or similar stories any of you might be willing to share and thanks for listening.

It is ironic that you mentioned swimming because my husband and I were just talking today about possibly having a pool installed in our back yard so I can start doing water exercises. We live in Phoenix, AZ so we can use the pool about 9 months of the year, all 12 if it is heated. I have always loved the water and if I could find a local gym with a pool, I would join but we live in the suburbs and there is not a gym with a pool for more than 25 miles so it is not feasible for us to join. I do want to find a way to get more exercise though, and water has always made it easy for me to move. Being that it is winter, we would probably get a better deal on a pool if we were to buy one now, as opposed to waiting until the spring. I might just check it out tomorrow.

Thank you! I am getting my protein and water in, well fluids, I am drinking Crystal Light and Decaf Tea with Splenda instead of water but I wonder if it makes a difference whether it is water or not? I am actually getting about 80+ oz. of Fluid and 60-80 protein grams a day. I make sure to drink at least 2 and sometimes 3 shakes a day with 30 grams of protein in each shake. Many days I cannot eat and only have Protein Shakes for meals, if I can eat, it is so little that I doubt it matters. When I can eat, I am eating 2-3 ounces of tuna with light mayo, salmon, tilapia or ground chicken for a meal but most of it is making me sick so I can only eat a couple of small bites. I am eating about 500-600 calories a day but I don't think I could get more in if I tried. I will ask my hubby to put the scale in the garage and only weigh once a week. I can drive myself crazy on that scales several times a day. LOL It is nice to speak to someone else who has PCOS, very few people really understand it and it really does make a difference in weight loss. I have only ever been able to lose weight on a low-carb diet in the past. Even super low calorie diets do not yield good results for me but low carb always makes me lose like crazy so that is why I am baffled at the scale not moving for 3 weeks because I am eating less than 25 carbs a day so I am in ketosis still and have been since November 1st. I have also been getting in my vitamins,, 60+ protein grams a day and plenty of fluids. I actually healed up pretty quickly, I was able to get 80+ fluid ounces down a day since about day 3 or 4 and have not had any vomiting, although I take Zofran several times a day for nausea, I have not thrown up, thank God. My incisions stopped hurting day 4 or 5 and other than some slight internal tenderness up until day 7, I have had no pain or issues. I had a great surgery and quick recovery. I think maybe I am just being impatient. Thanks so much for the encouragement. Congrats on your 70 pounds lost! That is fantastic! I have been getting my fluid at 80+ oz. a day and protein at 60+ grams a day since I got home on day 3. I actually healed pretty quickly so that was never an issue. In answer to your questions: What does your NUT and surgeon suggest? I am following their guidelines and the post-op diet to a tee. Are you following your program? Yes Are you getting in all of your protein and fluids? Yes Are you taking your vitamins and supplements as instructed? Yes Are you exercising? I have MS and I am in a wheelchair so I am unable to do much in terms of exercise but I thought about trying to do some sitting exercises. I found a program on TV called, "Sit and Be Fit" that I recorded today and plan to try tomorrow. I will read the page on the link you posted, I really love all the support and information on this site. I am so glad I found it and so thankful to all of you for your help and support.

Hello everyone, my name is Mona. If you look at my profile and history, you will see that I was active here since 2007, when I had the band placed and thought it was the answer to my prayers. I WAS WRONG, SO WRONG! I included my story below, long story short, I am getting the band removed and revised to the RNY. I would love to have some support as I take the plunge into this very important and life-changing "revision decision." I wanted to get the band removed and have the gastric bypass done all in one surgery but my bariatric doctor, Dr. Daniel Fang in Phoenix, wanted to do an endoscopy first to make sure I did not have erosion before planning the 1-step procedure. Although I did not have any erosion, (Thank God!) unfortunately, he found that my band has somewhat slipped, so I have to get the revision done in 2 surgeries, the first of which will be done next Tuesday, the 11th of August. He will remove my band and my gallbladder, since I have developed gallstones since my band was placed, then we have to wait 3 months to do the gastric bypass portion of the surgery. I had no idea that my band had slipped, I haven’t had any symptoms at all, so it was a very big surprise when he told me about the slip. For those interested, here is my back story: I had the Lap-Band (AP Large, 14 CC Band) installed in December of 2007. I was so insistent upon having the Lap-Band and did not even want to hear about or entertain the idea of any other form of surgery or option. I was convinced that it was the safest and only way to go for me. Hindsight is 20/20! It was the worst decision I have ever made and nearly cost me my life. I was a cash pay patient and found a doctor in Denver, CO that would do the band for just under $10k, so I drove from Phoenix, AZ to Denver, CO and had the band placed. I was only in the hospital for 5 hours and back in my hotel room that same night. Two days later we travelled back to Phoenix and I thought all was well. A few days later, I developed a fever and just was not feeling well. I went to the ER and they admitted me. They called several bariatric doctors but none of them wanted to get involved because they were not the doctor that did the surgery. Thankfully, Dr. Fang, who is now going to do my revision surgery, agreed to take care of me, admitted me, and did an endoscopy to see what was going on. He discovered that I had a micro-perforation in my stomach from the band surgery. One of the stitches was pulled too tight and had caused a micro-tear in my stomach tissue. He told me it was very serious and if they had to go in to repair it, I had a 50/50 chance of survival! I was petrified. He said he was going to put me on nothing by mouth plus a Protonix drip and other IV meds for 2 weeks and see if the tissue would heal on its own. Thank God it healed, so they did not have to go in to repair it. I should have been more cautious of my own health and red flags should have went up when I realized that the doctor that did my Lap-Band surgery did not even require me to have ANY pre-op testing or clearances AT ALL, before doing the surgery. Again, hindsight is 20/20 and I was determined and stubborn. After I was released from the hospital, I gradually went back to regular foods and then started getting my fills. Since I did not have an aftercare program, I was basically on my own and had to find a place to do my fills. I started doing fills and initially, I lost a little over 100 pounds and went from 375 to 265 in a little less than 2 years, but I will admit that I did not do it the healthy way. I was overfilled most of the time, barely able to hold down Water and I used this time to starve myself to lose the weight. I slimed and threw up all day long, it was a hot mess and I was miserable. As time went by, the weight loss slowed and I was able to eat more and more so I kept getting more and more fills done, thinking I was losing restriction but that was not the case. Unfortunately, the reason I could eat so much more was because my esophagus was stretching and turning into a stomach!!!!! When this was confirmed, the doctor took all the Fluid out and told me to wait for 6 months to have it filled again, but I had to have an endoscopy to make sure the esophagus was back to normal first. I did not have insurance and had started to develop a major illness, so I could not afford to get the endoscopy, and was unable to fill the band again at that time. Within 2 years, I gained back every ounce I had lost, plus another 35 pounds and ballooned up to 410 pounds by the end of 2011. I hovered around the 400 pound mark from 2011 to 2013 and then decided to give the band one more try but “this time” I would do it the right way. I had the endoscopy done, got the all-clear, and started to do fills again. I lost about 40 pounds over 6 months, but the the stretching started again and the GERD was so bad this time around that I just could not take it anymore and I had the fluid removed again. So long story short, here I sit, nearly 8 years after having the Lap-Band installed and I am currently 402 pounds, that is 27 pounds more than I was before I had the band placed, and I AM MISERABLE!!!!!!! Since 2007 when I had the Lap-Band installed, I have developed multiple sclerosis, diabetes, severe chronic back pain from 5 herniated discs that won’t heal because of my weight, arthritis in my spine, and because I weigh so much, the MS complications have been exasperated exponentially and has caused me to be in a wheel chair because I can no longer walk due to my legs going numb from the constant pressure of my weight on my spinal cord and the loss of balance. I am in no way blaming these issues on the band, I do not believe the band had anything to do with my developing MS or any of the other issues I have developed subsequent to the band being placed. I am only 46 years old and I am too young to just give up! My PCP and neurologist have told me that if I can get under 200 pounds, I will very likely walk again, although it would be with a walker, it is still a far better scenario than where I am right now. I am excited and scared, all at the same time, as I hate the thought of surgery, especially at my weight and BMI, but I am determined to do it! I go for my band and gallbladder removal on Tuesday, August 11th and then will be on a very strict low-carb diet for the 3 months following the band removal so I can get my BMI as low as possible for the gastric bypass procedure. My doctor said I did not need to be on a pre-op diet, so that is a little concerning to me because I am worried about the size of my liver, but he said I don’t need to be on any special pre-op diet for the band removal, just for the gastric bypass portion of the surgery. I am still going to do a 7-day liquid diet, starting today, so I can feel better about it myself. I am planning to have 3 Protein shakes a day and plenty of water and Crystal Light. I would love to hear from others who have underwent similar circumstances. I am going to try a whole different approach this time around. I am normally not one to share my life or feelings, but I need the support and I believe I also have plenty to share that may help others to make a better decision. I really hurt myself by not following the rules and not using the support systems that are in place, such as this site, to help me through. I was a cash pay patient and after travelling to Denver, CO to have the Lap-Band placed, I was on my own when I returned to Phoenix and tried to be my own doctor, which as you can see from my preceding story, did NOT work out to my advantage. This time, I am going to a local doctor, with insurance (Medicare and Mercy Care) and will be following the rules and using every bit of support that I can possibly get. I look forward to getting to know all of you and to your stories as well.

Thank you for your support. I am anxious about the band removal on Tuesday, but I cannot wait to get this thing out of me and on my way to getting the gastric bypass in 3 months. 4 more days til 1st surgery.

I have had my band for almost 6 years now and have been through a series of ups and downs that I will not get into right now. You can read my last post about my journey so far if you want but I will say this..................every person is different and every person's amount of fill and number of cc's in their band is different. I have a 14 cc band and had lost about 150 pounds a few years back. At that time I had 12.5 cc's of fill in my 14 cc band with very tight restriction. I had to have all the fill removed 2 years ago and I gained all the weight back. I just had the band refilled again on Monday and I only have 6 cc's in and have the same restriction that I had several years ago when I had 10 cc's of fill in my band. There are a lot of variables. Some people have more fat tissue around their stomachs, where the band is placed than others. Clearly over the last 2 years, I have managed to accumulate a lot of fat tissue around my stomach for 6 cc's to give me good restriction when 2 years ago it would not have given me any. Please, please slow down, relax and take your time. You sound a lot like me and I almost died twice because I was eager to lose weight fast and I abused and misused the band fore years. Read my post here if you want to know the story.http://www.lapbandtalk.com/topic/175029-starting-over-after-almost-dying-twice-and-gaining-back-150-pounds/ Most of all, good luck to you and if you need to chat or want some advice, I am here for you.

Wow, what an amazing amount of support! I forgot how wonderful the people on this site were. You all are amazing and I thank you for your encouragement and support. The bottom line is that the Lap-Band is a tool, not a crutch. The damage I did, I did to myself, the band did not do the damage, I did by not following the rules, making foolish decisions and relying on the band to keep me from being able to eat much of anything. It is all about control, with the proper fill, the band allows you to feel full with a small portion and gives a person willpower and motivation where it is lacking. As much of a useful tool as the band can be, it can also be a weapon we use against ourselves if we choose to do the wrong thing. Don't get me wrong, there are some instances where a person has negative outcomes and circumstances surrounding the band it is is not their fault. Erosion and other issues are inevitable and just part of the adverse possibilities of the band. However, in my case, I made choices that created the issues I had with my band and I am the only one to blame. I have learned my lesson and although I do have a hard head, I think the message was able to penetrate my thick skull and I will not be having a repeat performance. Question: Is there an area of the forum where we can post a daily food journal to keep ourselves accountable for what, when, and how we eat every day?

I went yesterday morning to have my first fill and they put in 6 cc's in my 14 cc band. I am amazed at the amount of restriction I have from 6 cc's when I can remember having very little restriction at 7 cc's in the past. I think what I forgot to take into account was the fact that I have gained over 150 pounds and there is a lot of fat tissue around my stomach that was not there before. I think this may be the right fill for a while, until I start to lose the fat tissue and it loosens up a bit. I have the perfect amount of restriction. This morning I ate 1/2 c of cereal and I felt full, could not have eaten more and so glad I have restriction again.

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of support and encouragement. Thank you Healthy and Happy. I absolutely take full responsibility for my actions. That was the whole point of my taking the time to write the post. I did it to myself and most people who are doing it to themselves right now are in the middle of the roller coaster and have no idea they are even on the roller coaster or if they know, they have no idea how to get off. Let's face it, if I could follow rules, I would not have needed the band to help me eat less, I would have just chosen a healthy eating plan and stuck to it. That is not the reality though. Once a person who has been incredibly overweight their entire lives start to finally lose a bunch of weight, they become obsessed with NEVER being able to eat like a pig again, or never gaining back the weight again. Even though they know what they are doing is dangerous, the benefits outweigh the risks in their minds. It is just like before I had the band, I would make deadly/dangerous decisions to lose weight by binge/purging or yoyo dieting, or diet pills, etc. When I finally found something that worked, I became hell bent on never going back. For me, as long as I was throwing up 10 times a day, I was losing weight and I became obsessed with making sure I had the band so tight that I couldn't really eat anything. I mean it is like a drug addict, if one is good, then 10 must be much better. It is a sick, skewed way of thinking. As unfortunate as it is for people to have issues and problems with the band, whether it is self-induced or of no fault of their own, it is a reality and needs to be addressed. The truth is that people who get the band are overweight and most people who are overweight have an unhealthy relationship with food. Just because they get a surgery that makes it harder to eat large amounts of food doesn't mean that they will instantly be cured of their issues with food. Many just become obsessed with "something new" and misuse/abuse the band. If they had the willpower and self-discipline to do it on their own, they would not need the band. If nobody talks about it, people sit at home in shame and secret, destroying themselves and not wanting to step forward and talk about it because they are afraid of what others will say. Anyone who thinks that the band is going to be a magic wand is sadly mistaken and in for a rude awakening years later, like I was. The great thing about the band is as long as you don't have a slip or erode, you can usually take a break for a year or two, get yourself together and start over, like I am doing now. I am hoping that I can help others to make better decisions and also get support as I try it again. I know now that it can be deadly to play games and I am going into it with a different mind set. I waited over a year to make sure I was ready to do it right, I have MS and RA and the weight is making my symptoms worse. I am in a wheelchair now and I want to try to lose the weight in a healthy way so I can get better but without the restriction from the band, I am never going to do it on my own. I tried for 2 years and ended up gaining over 150 pounds instead of losing an ounce. One of the biggest and most important lessons I learned is that just because I am losing weight does not mean I am doing it right. Most of my weight was lost by starvation and malnutrition. I totally agree and I have already informed the doctor that is going to be doing my fills of the whole story. I want to be held accountable and in order to do it right I have to be honest. If not, I am only hurting and fooling myself. It is definitely something I have to watch, I found myself just today thinking, "Man, I hope they put a lot of Fluid in so I can start with a lot of restriction right off the bat." I had to stop the thinking immediately. That is the total opposite of taking it slow. I have always been one for instant gratification. It is a constant work in progress. I have spent the last year seeing an eating disorder specialist and it has really helped me. I completely get it! When things started going south for me, I wanted to come here for support but I was too worried about what other would say and ashamed of the position I had put myself in. I am here if you need me.

Thank you Karen, glad your daughter took heed as well. If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean that many here will condemn me?

Hello everyone, it has been a really long time since I posted but I must say that I was doing quite well until I walked away from the support of this site. I am writing this because I met many wonderful people through this site and wanted to let my friends here know that I will be on a reality T.V. documentary called, "What's Eating You" on E!, November 3rd. It is about extreme eating disorders and I was one of the people they picked for the show. I have been baned since December of 2007 and had lost 150 pounds (with 100 still to go) but then gained back almost 50. Since starting therapy on the show, I have lost about 25 pounds of the 50 that I gained back. Unfortunately, I got the band but never worked on why I was overeating in the first place. I have a 14CC band with 12CC's of Fluid in and can't really eat a lot, yet I have learned to eat around the band with slider foods. I never really ate because I was hungry but because I get some sort of emotional release or "high" when I eat. The band has really helped me to control the portion size but unfortunately, I did not use it the right way. I do believe that without the band, I would have probably been over 500 pounds by now. The band has helped me to be in control, even when I didn't want to be BUT there is a problem when a person GAINS 25 pounds and can only eat 1/4 cup of food at a time. I was one of the "cash pay" patients that did not receive proper aftercare and I think that has contributed greatly to my demise. I controlled my own fills and did not receive any follow up care about nutrition, etc. I hope that the episode will help others who are banded not to make the same negative choices that I have made. I am determined to battle my binge disorder and I will overcome it but I just need to deal with the reasons I am binging.

Thank you to everyone who watched the show. I appreciate the support.

Thanks and congrats on your loss as well. My episode airs on Nov. 3rd.

I am really starting to worry about this show airing. It is so personal and I reveal so many personal things during the taping to the psychologist. I talk about being molested and bullied in school. It is just starting to dawn on me that EVERYONE in the world will know my business now. I did the show to try to help others and myself. Now that I have "seen" what I am doing, I am hoping to change it. I was throwing up 5-20 times a day, sometimes more, just so I could keep eating and I could have taken out some of the fill but instead I kept making it tighter and throwing up even more. It was very stupid because the doc on the show said that I could rupture my esophogus and die the next time I throw up. That was a wakeup call! I have not binged on slider foods for 6 weeks, have not thrown up on purpose and have lost 30 pounds since they started taping my therapy. I want people to know that even though the band, or any other surgery for that matter may restrict your portionn size, it is still possible to defeat the surgery if you are eating for reasons other than hunger. I am NEVER hungry with the band yet I ALWAYS want to eat. I was only hungry about 10% of the time I ate before the band. I have given so much power to food that it is like a drug to me. I use food to feel better and I use it almost unconsciously to numb myself. I have done a lot of publicity for the show on The Today Show, CNN Joy Behar, local news and others. To my knowledge, I am the only overweight person on the series and certainly the only one with a Lap-Band. I read posts all the time about people struggling with the things I struggle with so I hope it will inspire people to use the band as it is intended and not ABUSE it like I have.

Yes I was, along with another participant and a nutritionist from New York.

Hello everyone. I have lost 140 pounds in the last 16 moths, with just under 100 pounds to go. I had my surgery on December 17, 2007. The Lap-Band has changed my life and I am so excited, I can't wait to get to goal. I do not post often but I am going to start posting more since I have more time on my hands than I did before. If I can help anyone or be of encouragement, just pm me.

Hello everyone. I haven't posted for months, just thought I would say hello. I have a new job that allows me more home time now so hopefully I can post more.

I was banded on Dec 13, 2007 and will be getting my first fill this Wednesday. Does anyone have the 14CC band, and if so, how many CC's of saline did you need to get to good restriction? Also, when the APS (10cc) and APL (14cc) are filled to capacity, do they both offer the same amount of restriction or is it possible to have a band that is too big for you and never really get to full restriction? I swear, I better get good restriction from this APL or I will grab a knife and a HEFTY TWIST-TIE and do it myself! :rolleyes2:<!-- google_ad_section_end -->

I am very new to this board and I am having my surgery with Dr. Kirshenbaum on Dec. 13, 2007. I have a very high BMI of 62.2 and I am worried about being too big for him to safely band. Has anyone on this board been over 60 BMI and had Dr. Kirshenbaum as your surgeon? Can anyone tell me how he is and what the procedure is as far as the hospital stay, etc.? I would appreciate any feedback.

I have only had fills under flouro and I have had a great deal of success with it. My doctor fills me until I am completely closed off, then he pulls back 1/8 cc at a time until the liquid "just" starts to slowly flow through. I have had great restriction and have never been overfilled. I like flouro because you get a chance to see what is going on inside.

Jasongrove, you have posted a total of 7 times so far on this site and every time you have posted, you have advertised this product in your post and said it is "not a sales solicitation." ??? You are clearly advertising your product and trying to make sales by giving out your e-mail address so you can peddle your product. You should think about paying for advertising space like the rest of the vendors do. No bandster in their right mind would use a bulking agent and stretch their pouch. Get a clue and peddle your glorified Metamucil somewhere else.