i was absolutly commited to this procedure but feel let down now. i know it,s only a tool and we have to work at it so i suppose i am the failure. but it makes me feel like an even bigger failure than i didi pre op. i have been doing very well for some time now dispite having to wait 14 weeks for my first fill(don,t ask!) anywhoo i am only human and have cheated and like my doc told me i a m a victim of my own biology so hey ho. but seriously i feel like s..t i am being very good or very bad and i know it,s all up to me but every tiime i am bad i am sooo hard on myself instead of what my nurse tells me to be is kind with myself as i am trying to break a lifetime of bad habits here and i have done well so far but with xmas coming i feel i am on a hiding to nothing and hate feeling like such a failure.:help:

Don't feel like a failure. You purchased an appliance and it will only work correctly if you follow the directions.

Hate your missed the first fill date of 6 weeks...but, it's not too late.

Go in for an adjustment. If your doc isn't getting it done right... take your money elsewhere.

Cheated...you said cheated... I still eat fast foods, drink soda, etc. But I have cut back and done away with certain junk foods.

Get the restriction!

I understand how you feel, I am dealing with these issues myself. I feel let down but not from myself, but from my Dr. It's like this was my last option and its not working. I had my surgery on 9/5 and barely lost 10lbs. But the dr. keep telling me to "be patient. When I go to his office I feel like I 'm the only one not losing . The othre people are talking about how much weight they have lost and I just sit there feeling horrible about my weight . But don't give up, I know I won't because I paid to much money in to this to give up. So just remember when you feel like your doing bad someone else might be doing a little worst!!

I had to wait eight weeks for my first fill and it was not pretty -- I was so low I had to climb a ladder to kick an ant in the knees! But, thankfully!, when I got it I got immediate and good restriction from it.

Hang in there.

And ease up on yourself.

Grace, I need some advice from you. My doctor (havent been banded ad of yet and I have gotten some feedback on the doc on here....) doesnt do fills if the patient is losing a pound a week. But this seems pointless. I am not getting this thing to lose a pound a week. Now I am super nervous about this thing. I was hoping to get the first fill at 6 weeks, but now I dont think that will happen for me. My question is, how easy is it to switch doctors after surgery to get fills? I want to work the surgery the way it is supposed to work.....what is your advice? Also, how much can I expect to lose post op before a fill?

Thank you in advance for your advice.....please help me out here.....

OKay, I have had two fills (2.4 in a 4.0cc band) and am eating about 1/2 of the giant portions I used to and still not losing!!!!! WTF?

OKay, I have had two fills (2.4 in a 4.0cc band) and am eating about 1/2 of the giant portions I used to and still not losing!!!!! WTF?

Have you recorded your food and calories, cause really even if you are eating half you still might be eating too many calories. Simple science really calories in vs calories out. So if you are now eating 2000 calories instead of 4000 and not doing any exercise you are more than likely still not going to lose weight. The band is a 'tool' to help you, not the cure.

I'm 8-months post op and have had 5 fills so far. My original surgeon was way too conservative with my fills and after my 4th one, I decided to change bariatric doctors. I went to my new doctor last month and am currently at 3.5 cc's in a 4 cc band. I'm really starting to doubt this entire band because I only have .5 cc fill room left and I still barely have restriction.

lainee, until you have good restriction the band isn't working. You are not a failure.

I just think this whole all or nothing diet mentality sets you up for failure. People dont live like that and they dont eat like that.

What you want is a healthy lifestyle, and a healthy lifestyle CAN include treats every now and then. You want a balanced diet, not some torture plan that you have to be on for life. The band, when you get restriction, makes it easier to think about food rationally so that nine times out of ten you choose something appropriate to eat. But the lapband is not a life sentence to never enjoy your food or never eat anything just for the pleasure of it again.

What you want to learn is how to fit that appropriately into your lifestyle, not make eating for pleasure an every meal thing.

And exercise helps a lot there too. It really does seem to regulate your appetite and make you want healthier foods.

You do need to be kind to yourself. How strictly you like to diet is personality dependent and its not wrong to approach it that way, in fact most of the really successful people do. But its not how I like to live and I've managed to lose all my weight. I had to be content with slower loss (18 months to lose 85lb) but it came off nonetheless and I didnt feel deprived doing it.

jachut i want to say thanks for those wise words of a bandster who knows... i have to admit i was down today... i miss my friend food...the friend who got me here in the first place..fat and unhappy... i was banded on the 28th of nov and i'm still on liquid diet...i know this too will pass but i'm now a woman with a skinny girl's stomach and fat girls brain... what you said made me feel better...so thanks!! moderation is the key to everything...i know that....i just need the band to help me know that... i'm an over eater... you encourage me ...thanks!

Please don't use the word failure. If losing weight was easy, we wouldn't be in this blog. I, too, have been disappointed with my weight loss, banded five months ago, four fills and only lost 21 pounds. However, my nurse practioner thinks I'm doing very well. She had a heart to heart with me and reminded me that lap band is for slow and steady weight loss. The average is 1 to 2 pounds a week, and many people don't do that. That's the reality. You're not a failure if you're not losing more rapidly. Also, it takes months to get the adjustments and to adjust yourself to the band. Learning to eat slowly, taking small bites, recognizing a sense of fullness, not forcing more food than you should--these are all things you have to learn. Bottom line: Things don't happen overnight. It's a process.

when were you banded?

OKay, I have had two fills (2.4 in a 4.0cc band) and am eating about 1/2 of the giant portions I used to and still not losing!!!!! WTF?

Portion size relative to pre-op is irrelevant. If you were eating 8,000 calories before your surgery, and now you're eating 4,000, you could very easily not lose weight. Half of a giant portion is still going to be an above average portion.

Calculate your BMR , calculate your AMR, and shoot for somewhere in between -- for starters.

sorry this reply took so long but i have been stuggling with myself;

i have lost 40lbs so far but know i am letting myself down even as we speak. i need another fill but am reluctant because it,s not the band lthat,s letting me down but myself!! i feel like crap! but there you go i know i,m not alone.:cry:cry:cry

I too opt not to be super tight. I have lost slower than some, but it has been lost none the less! I do not "diet" per se, I am conscious of what I eat...and do my best to make wise choices most of the time. As Jachut said, that is so much easier to do when you reach a level of restriction to where the band does help you!

I used to walk into the house, and was starving, so I grabbed, Cookies, chips, anything ready to eat,and gorged myself! Now I walk in, and with the hunger at bay, I can make myself happy with a yogurt, or a wedge of cheese. I keep leftovers on hand, and snack away at them.

This is how I expect to live the remainder of my life, so I do not care to live on a diet forever! Did I make bad choices in food? You bet I did! Do I still make bad choices in food? Sure do! I just work on it the next time I eat. No matter what with the bad choices on occasion, I am eating so much healthier than I did pre band--it is hard for me to believe. BUT it took me a year and a half to get here, where this feels normal!

A band without proper restriction is like a car without gas. You can push it, but it is not doing what it was designed to do! Your band is sitting there, it just needs its "gas". Go for the next fill, work with your Dr. to find a good level of restriction, and you will have HELP from the band! If we could do this on will power alone, none of us would be on this board.

Feeling like crap from making bad choices is actually a step in the right direction, you are recognizing the areas in which you need to work. I know I would do great through the day, and then evening would hit, and I would graze! When I stopped losing, and got all bummed out, I realized I was happy with my choices all day, then went to bed feeling crappy about myself, and realized it was due to the choices I made each night. So I began revamping my evening plan! And slowly it worked!

Get your band on board, and working with you, and you will find a new attitude comes with it I bet. Til then recognizing where the problem lies, is a great way to begin solving the issues.

That sure sounds like a bunch of hooey from a self help book--but it worked for me!

Kat