So I was warned prior to RNY surgery to be aware of the emotional changes that come along with all the changes your body is going through.

So, for the most part things have been good. No real emotional issues, supportive family. Surgery was 9-18-19. I am -62lbs.

I am very proud of it. My family seems to be proud too, but my husband is like a double edged sword.

He says I look good, but then complains if I ask to get a pair of jeans that fit better, or the fact that I need new underwear, or just looking at cloths in general. All of the sudden he hates every thing I say I like or really want. He says my tastes have changed... duh, Im dressing for different body size and type. I am not even in the plus sizes anymore. I am still dressing modest, not showing off skin... but seriously. I wanted a pair of boots, (western boots) he said why, you havent worn them before.... that is BS prior to gaining all of my weight I was jeans, t shirt, boots or tennis shoes all the time.

Why all of the sudden is what style of cloths I like or want such a big issue?

And its not just cloths... Family asking what I want for Christmas... I give suggestions then he huffs and puffs and is like ewe, why would you even like that? From patterns of dishes, to patterns on cloths, purses, shoes, wall hangings... WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG? Why is nothing I like acceptable anymore?

On 1/12/2020 at 11:30 PM, mom2amrt said:

He controls all the money. So I have to ask before spending. We rarely go out as a couple, and the only time we are usually apart is when he goes to work or if I am runnjng a kid somewhere or taking care of his mother.

Ive asked him why he hates everytbing and he just says that it just isnt something he thinks i look good in.

When i ask what he would like me to wear, it always like a size or 2 larger than what Im currently wearing.

He sounds to me like a jealous controlling person who doesnt want you to be slimmer and feel good about yourself incase he loses you and you run off with someone else. He needs to sort himself out and stop being selfish.... if my partner behaves like this then Icant say I'd respond as polite as you.... good luck speaking to him and telling him, you need to put things straight because it sounds like hes bringing you down when you should be embracing the new healthier you xx

Any update on this?

1 hour ago, NYJenn said:

Any update on this?

Well hopefully he isnt controlling her phone and doesnt see this post either because he seems like he could manipulate this too.... how he sounds makes me worry about you x

He is very controlling in all aspects of your life, it may not feel like it to you but this is an abusive relationship even though there isn't any violence.

Please reach out to a trusted family member or friend if you are able to or contact a women's help group in your area.

Well, just seeing this on here? You sound miserable! However, if he will not change? Then you have to!

Life is to short. You are both examples to your children. Is this how you want them to live?