So absolutely disapointed
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I saw my PCP today to get medical clearance. I thought it would be a breeze; I would be in and out in no time. Needless to say, that was not the case. My doctor received the results from the lab work that I had performed at the hospital yesterday. Turns out my liver enzymes or whatever they're called are way high, leading the doctor to the decision that I have hepatitis (HOW? I always wash my hands thoroughly after doing my business, I don't eat uncooked shellfish, share needles, drink heavily, have unprotected promiscuous sex, etc...) and need further blood work to figure out which kind, and an ultra sound of my liver. So, I get stuck in the arm that is still bruised from yesterday's blood work and have my side poked and prodded. Results of the ultra sound: abnormal; enlarged liver with noticeable fatty deposits.
I can't begin to express how upset I am. My blood work from the middle of September was normal! I went on a liquid diet, lost some weight, have done everything the doctors have asked of me, only to be facing the possibility of having my surgery on Monday canceled. I feel like I could puke. I feel like my body is finally seeking its revenge on me. It's saying, "This is what you deserve, you fat bitch. This is what you get for the years of abuse."
Sorry to be a downer. It's just so grotesquely disappointing to finally feel hope and to have actual goals and a plan of action set after months of preparation, only to see those dreams crumble right as I'm about to have a life changing procedure.
I'm not looking for any sympathy, I just need to vent. I did this to myself and take full responsibility for my present health, but WTF! When am I going to finally catch a break?!