Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone! My surgery date is about 11 days away and I've got some serious last minute nerves and I just need some reassurance that this will be worth it. I'm having to pay for the entirety of my surgery myself because I don't qualify with my insurance, and the idea of spending upwards of $20,000 on anything seems insane right now. I mean I can't think of anything I'd rather spend money on than my own happiness, but still, it's a hard pill to swallow. I've also dieted successfully on my own before, lost 30, 40, 50, even 60 pounds and gained all the weight back after a year or so, so I'm afraid the same thing will happen after surgery and it will all be for nothing. I'm also nervous about how my relationship with my boyfriend will change. On the one hand I am excited for all the positive things I'm hoping my weight-loss will bring to our relationship, but I'm also scared it will change our dynamic. And while I really hate the way I look now, I'm also terrified of loose skin. I'm hoping because I'm young it might not happen, but I have no idea. Any 20-somethings here who can share their experience?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, QuakerOat8 said:

Hi everyone! My surgery date is about 11 days away and I've got some serious last minute nerves and I just need some reassurance that this will be worth it. I'm having to pay for the entirety of my surgery myself because I don't qualify with my insurance, and the idea of spending upwards of $20,000 on anything seems insane right now. I mean I can't think of anything I'd rather spend money on than my own happiness, but still, it's a hard pill to swallow. I've also dieted successfully on my own before, lost 30, 40, 50, even 60 pounds and gained all the weight back after a year or so, so I'm afraid the same thing will happen after surgery and it will all be for nothing. I'm also nervous about how my relationship with my boyfriend will change. On the one hand I am excited for all the positive things I'm hoping my weight-loss will bring to our relationship, but I'm also scared it will change our dynamic. And while I really hate the way I look now, I'm also terrified of loose skin. I'm hoping because I'm young it might not happen, but I have no idea. Any 20-somethings here who can share their experience?

Firstly, totally normal.
Second, TALK ABOUT IT! The worst thing you can do with your significant other is not tell him how you are afraid of what the changes will do to your relationship. Communication is super important, being 100% open and honest makes things easier, because you know exactly what each other is dealing with.

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whatever you decide I know you can do it. Matt is 100% correct. You need to discuss this with your significant other and both be on the same page. You will need their support 100% after surgery and you need to also know how they feel.

As far as the investing in yourself.. it is the BEST thing you can do. All our lives we always do for others and this is now our time. I however did the sleeve, which was half the cost of the bypass, but it is what worked for me financially. I also have done the dieting in the past and have gotten down 120 pounds and gained most of it back. For me, this is a tool that became a rule. The rule states, you cannot fall of the wagon because i will not allow you too. I have the will power, my issue is if i do fall off ( the last time because i traveled for work for 3 weeks and had to eat where the group ate) it was hard to get back on. But once i put my mind to something i am good. My mind was determined to do this, for me, and i went in and even up to the moment of surgery, it was like i had a task to do. I never thought of it is a major change to my body.

You got this no matter what!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While I am not in my 20's I would comment that I am 10 months post vsg and I have lost 75 pounds and I believe the surgery was the single best thing I have done for myself. I believe it is absolutely worth it. Having said that I would give one word of caution- the surgery is merely one tool and not a magic pill that will fix everything.

There are behaviors I had to address- stress eating/using food to manage my emotions- I started to crochet/ journal and do whatever I needed to do to address the underlying reason for my overeating. I am actually a physician and I have patients who have gained back the weight so it is a real issue but I also have patients who have been successful. The main difference appears to be whether you are willing to do anything to improve your health. I get up at 5am to work out and I usually work out after work also. I use lose it app and document everything I eat regularly and I will do whatever else I have to do to continue to succeed. I was desperate, everything I did failed and I will do whatever I need to do to succeed.

I wish you the best and I believe if you are desperate enough to pay out of pocket for your surgery you are desperate enough to make sure you are successful after your surgery. As for your significant other- I have found that all of my relationships have changed because I have changed - I am willing to speak up for myself and set boundaries more than before and I know myself better so I know what I do and do not want in my life. If he loves you he will come along with you on this journey as in this life we are all evolving- we stop moving when we die and it seems like you want to live!

Good luck and happy holidays!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I've spent $20,000 on weight watchers, nutri system, McDonald's, and snickers. Surgery is a much better return on investment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hey!! i'm 22, and about 6 months out from surgery. it's 100% the best decision i ever made! i've struggled with my weight ever since i was a kid -- i remember "dieting" for the first time when i was around 8 -- and the surgery has helped in sooo many ways! i haven't had any issues with loose skin so far, but i'm also not all that far along.

i also think you should let your partner know what you're going through right now! i'm sure if you share your concerns with him, he would be able to put your mind at ease a bit.

best of luck to you!! i'm sure everything will go great!! :776_two_hearts:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335
      800-282-0066

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • NeedsTheBeach

      Getting a little nervous about post surgery life adaptation. I really want to succeed, but habits are so hard to break.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • AshMarie794

      Think I am hitting a stall-ish period. Weight loss is def slowing and I need a kickstart to get it going again....any suggestions?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sss

      Good news and Meh news...
      Meh: so I think I experienced/am experiencing my first stall-ish since surgery and now I get how frustrating it can be!  So annoying to wake up every morning to watch the scale report a gain or loss of the same 1.5 pounds for over 2 weeks.  *sigh*.  Some say put the scale away, but I log my weight every morning to get a daily moving average of my weight.  So long as this moving average is not heading upwards (which it isn’t and hasn’t since post-op) then I am good with my curent “minimalist” weekly weight loss rate, however small I think it is 🙄.
      However.
      The Good news:
      To allow for some self back patting, and to remind myself of the bigger picture, I set a bunch of interim goals/milestones... a few of which are 10lbs increment weight loss goals:
      So this morning, after hovering within 1.5 pounds of an interim goal for over 2 weeks, I weighed in at 164.8, and officially lost 70 lbs!  In 4 months.  That is 30% of my starting body weight.  Or the equivalent of my 10 year old neice. How crazy is that.
      Next Goal: weigh in at 162lbs to be merely overweight (and not obese!)
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • MonnieB

      I am in the Pre-Op stage.  I have 4 more nutrition classes to go to.  I've had my endoscopy with favorable results although I was told I had an abnormal z-line.  Everything looks good so far.  Had my team appointment with the psychologist and have my pulmonologist  this week.  I chose the sleeve
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • istytehcrawk

      Friday marked my first surgiversary, so I wrote 3,000 words about it on Medium: https://medium.com/@mistyfritz/life-after-having-my-intestines-rerouted-d7baf9c8c39f?source=friends_link&sk=e24f2259918ac091cdbbb8a8f24b1f63
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

    1. Carbs After Bariatric Surgery?

      Posted in: Food & Nutrition
      Lisa Kaouk, RD & Monica Bashaw, RD
    2. New Year’s Resolutions

      Posted in: Support
      Alex Brecher
    3. Go With Your Gut!

      Posted in: Mental Health
      Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×