Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
Introducing the newest flavors of BariatricPal's Protein One! Read more... ×

Supportive spouses?



Recommended Posts

Has anyone experienced feeling that a spouse isn’t being supportive? My wife brings up the fact that I’m having Duodenal switch surgery several times a day. She says she understands why I’m doing it ( she says I don’t need it ) but is scared that it’s so drastic. She also worried I won’t be happy when all is done. I know she doesn’t think is a problem but it’s draining but there’s no way to sway me! Any ideas ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Suggest not talking about ANY surgical related matters until the day before surgery.

Try to focus on other parts of life. This can be so all consuming at times, might as well focus heavily on it only when it actually happens.

Try to focus on her exclusively for a bit.

DEFLECT

What does she have going on? Thinking about trying Yoga or going back to school, etc.

Safe Journey!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My husband was and is still unsupportive. I had wanted WLS for years but he was very against it so I never went through with it. This time I went through all the appointments and got my surgery date before I even mentioned it to him. So instead of a discussion, I TOLD him I was having surgery on October 10th. Then we very rarely discussed it. He did not bring me to the hospital on the day of my surgery and originally was going to be out of town that day. Eventually he moved around his schedule and he was there after I got out of surgery. I knew I needed to do this for ME and I just wasn’t going to let him derail me once again! I’m only 3 weeks out (tomorrow) but I’m SO glad I did it!

I wish you the best!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, CyndieRI said:

My husband was and is still unsupportive. I had wanted WLS for years but he was very against it so I never went through with it. This time I went through all the appointments and got my surgery date before I even mentioned it to him. So instead of a discussion, I TOLD him I was having surgery on October 10th. Then we very rarely discussed it. He did not bring me to the hospital on the day of my surgery and originally was going to be out of town that day. Eventually he moved around his schedule and he was there after I got out of surgery. I knew I needed to do this for ME and I just wasn’t going to let him derail me once again! I’m only 3 weeks out (tomorrow) but I’m SO glad I did it!

I wish you the best!!

_sq_.jpeg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, CyndieRI said:

My husband was and is still unsupportive. I had wanted WLS for years but he was very against it so I never went through with it. This time I went through all the appointments and got my surgery date before I even mentioned it to him. So instead of a discussion, I TOLD him I was having surgery on October 10th. Then we very rarely discussed it. He did not bring me to the hospital on the day of my surgery and originally was going to be out of town that day. Eventually he moved around his schedule and he was there after I got out of surgery. I knew I needed to do this for ME and I just wasn’t going to let him derail me once again! I’m only 3 weeks out (tomorrow) but I’m SO glad I did it!

I wish you the best!!

Good for you! I hope you have other people besides him for support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/30/2018 at 23:56, Ed_NW said:





Good for you! I hope you have other people besides him for support.


I do Ed! I have wonderful friends! Thank you!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Tim A said:

Has anyone experienced feeling that a spouse isn’t being supportive? My wife brings up the fact that I’m having Duodenal switch surgery several times a day. She says she understands why I’m doing it ( she says I don’t need it ) but is scared that it’s so drastic. She also worried I won’t be happy when all is done. I know she doesn’t think is a problem but it’s draining but there’s no way to sway me! Any ideas ?

I'm going to advise the opposite here, TALK ABOUT IT! Find out what her fears are, and the both of you research the reality over the perception, together. Be open with her about your fears, explain **ALL** the reasons why you want the surgery. Leave NOTHING unexposed. And make sure she understands that you are hearing her concerns, and that they mean a lot to you, and that you've weighed out the pros and cons and the pros outweigh the cons. ETC or something akin to that...

Is she overweight as well by chance?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Featured Surgeons

    1. Masoud Rezvani

      Woodbridge, Virginia 22191

    2. Lisa Medvetz

      Downingtown, Pennsylvania 19335
      800-282-0066

  • Recent Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • danieocean

      Going through a lot of personal issues...came to visit my mom to try and figure out what I need to do. I'm really experiencing that head hunger I keep hearing about. In my lowest moments I feel most hungry. My stomach hurts like I'm starving. Trying to get in and see a therapist ASAP. Just really struggling to keep it all together. It's really weird to feel like this and not have food...I feel lost. SOunds so ridiculous. Sorry to be a downer, just been a hell of a day. 😕
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • GreenTealael

      Today I decided  along with grilled salmon I would eat yogurt. Not mixed together but bite for bite. Things are getting weird at Chateau GreenTealael
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • CrankyMagpie

      Had my one month (really, a day short of 6 weeks) post-op appointment today. Everybody seemed pretty happy with how things are going, and I'm now officially in Phase III (long-term bariatric eating phase), with the caveat that rice and pasta are still not allowed, and no alcohol until at least the three month mark. (Not a problem.) But I'm cleared to have fruits and veggies! 🥦🍎🥗🍊🍇🍓 So exciting! I want an apple so badly. (OK, like, a third of an apple, with peanut butter, because I'm not sure a full apple will fit in my stomach, and eating something without any protein feels wrong.)

      I'm also cleared to exercise, though I've been advised to start slow with weights and to stop if I feel any "tearing" (😨) in my abdomen. Back to the pool with me! (I hurt my foot, so walking is out right now. I hate it. Swimming and starting with weight lifting should do a lot for my mood, though.)
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • covarrubia911

      Scheduled 11/05/2018 for the second time to get a gastric sleeve. woke up from surgery with the nurses telling me. They were unable to do surgery .unable to introduce Laparoscopy when it needed to be. had to abort it. Too dangerous for me. I was so Very Depressed. I'm doing better with the depression. I must believe My Doctor Aborted surgery to Protect me .But I wanted this surgery so bad. Well I'm suppose to see him on 11/16/18 to discuss alternative methods. Hopefully I can Reschedule it for the third time

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Jazzy1125

      5 days Post op Update:
      Well today is 5 days. I feel great! I still have some gas i am dealing with but with each sip comes a burp. Hopefully this part will be done with soon. I started my blood thinners shots this morning as they stopped them day after surgery due to too much drainage. I went back to work yesterday, didnt do much! My boss made me sit in her office all day lol.. but i am back and i am feeling good. I was able to get my liquids in yesterday and had my first BM yesterday, with another following this morning! I think i am doing pretty well for just having surgery. My weight is still up. I had gained almost 14 pounds during surgery due to gas and liquids, and lost 10 of it to date. Have 4 pounds to go before back to surgery date weight! 
      · 1 reply
      1. FluffyChix

        Congrats!! We love BMs! :D

  • Trending Topics

  • Magazine Articles

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×