Do you use or have you used the "N" word? What are your feelings on racism, and racial slurs and words? The poll is anonymous so answer truthfully, please.

Im not by any means racist at all. I dont know where you got that from, but Im not. If I was racist I wouldnt have as many black friends as I do.

It is possible to be racist and have black friends.

Jodie_Warner06, it's not about ownership of a word. It's about tact.

First of all NO ONE owns a word...my friends are not ignorant, they know everything there is to know about the word, therefore they can not be ignorant. I dont see why you would let one little word control your life.

Also, I cant stand the F word (That is "fat" btw). I have been called that my entire life. I hate that word, I never use it to describe anyone or anything. I never have because it hurt me so bad growing up, but seems like lately people have been throwing it around like they dont care that I dont like it. There are certain words ppl I know do not like, therefore I do not use them around them, yet they do not have the courtesy towards me, I got a little upset about this the other night. If that word would have been used one more time, I would have left the party. Im sorry I will not put up with that word. period.

So given the above quote, I'm surprised you can't see n----- as more than "just a word." You've been called fat and it hurt you, and have said you would not put up with the word. And being fat is something you can control. Not the case with skin color or historical context. Why does fat bother you so much, but n----- is just a word?

Jodie_Warner06, it's not about ownership of a word. It's about tact.

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So given the above quote, I'm surprised you can't see n----- as more than "just a word." You've been called fat and it hurt you, and have said you would not put up with the word. And being fat is something you can control. Not the case with skin color or historical context. Why does fat bother you so much, but n----- is just a word?

The word fat doesnt bother me anymore. Im being serious too. I dont really let words bother me anymore, any of them. My friends at college helped me with that. Ive been called a lot worse things than "fat" in the past year, I dont let it bother me. The only recent post you guys have pulled for evidence is from the stereotype entry. In that entry I explained that I wasnt racist, but because of my past had issues that I had tried to work out with a therapist, but still have problems with. If you want to call me a racist thats fine. I know what I am. I know who I am. I dont need people I dont know in real life telling me who or what I am. Thats why I dont let words bother me.

I am very sorry to say, but I don't believe that all of those things have happen to you. They are contradictory, and the fact that you live in a small town, makes me think that the police or a few family members could've easily found all these alleged pedophiles and rapist.

You said it, I DIDN'T

Oh, by the way I know what ignorant means. And it isn't a term or word I throw around to make me sound smart. I use it when the person doesn't know the facts, nor are they interested in learning the truth. Denying yourself knowledge to grow beyond learned behaviors and expectations is very ignorant. I would also like to say that I think you protest to much... If you weren't racist, then you wouldn't have to come up with stories and explanations to prove that you're not one.

You believe what you want. I never said that a pedofile did ANYTHING to me. I know what is real, I know what my life is like. I have to live with my past every single day. The things that people have done to me. If you are saying this to fire me up, its not going to happen. Ive been told a hundred times that Im a liar, that I was asking for it. I know the truth, and thats what matters. I like I said I dont need you to believe me, I dont even know you in real life. So you go ahead and believe that Im a liar and a racist. I know how messed up my head is from all this happening to me. I know the nights that I tried to committ suicide because I just wanted everything to stop, to have a normal life. But one day I realized that NO ONE's life is "normal". That life deals out bad things to everyone, it just likes to deal me more than most people. When I was in school and those black guys did those things to me, I told principals, teachers whoever I could. But I wasnt acknowledged. They thought I was mad because I thought the guys were making fun of my weight. They didnt acknowledge the sexual harassment, thats what I was complaining about, say whatever you want but dont touch me. YOU come live in my town and go to my high school and see how far you get. Its not THAT bad, just needs some MAJOR staffing changes. Im not really sure what the counselors there do? I know that one time I got pulled out of class and taken to the butthole principal who I despised because of his lack of respect towards everyone but his son and his son's friends because they thought I might be suicidal....They were right, but I wasnt about to tell HIM that. I didnt trust him as far as I could throw him, he would have put me in the looney bin quicker than anything else. I lied to him and a counselor that I didnt even know existed about it. They honestly believed me! Despite the cuts on my arms, they just let me go. Never followed up. Never recommended that I speak to someone....just let me go back to what I was doing. They dont pay attention...They dont care. All they want is a pay check and a little power. Power they cant get in the real world, so they have to work in schools. Anyways, like I said either live in your froo-froo world or realize that bad things happen and that you just gotta get over them.

Only once in a blue moon would you see a full blooded aboriginal person in suburban Melbourne - same as we dont have kangaroos hopping down the streets. You just never see it unless you travel. Of course there's probably loads of mixed race aborginals around but there's so many people of blended background . Blackness is not much of an issue here because the other cultures that have assimilated are generally European - Italian, Greek, etc or Asian - Malaysian, Thai, Chinese and Japanese. We dont have the history that you do, the slavery, the civil war, so people dont harbour the same feelings.

You'll get plenty of people irate about muslims or italians, or whatever, just as I pointed out, but the N word would have no use here because its basically a white/asian population.

Aborigines are sadly in very small numbers and often living in terrible socioeconomic hardship in remote areas. People of course have their views on that too.

But I dont quite get what you're saying - I get the sense that something I said annoyed you, but I dont understand what. I wasnt saying people dont make the effort to assimilate at all, I was saying that its possible with effort from both sides.

I'm not annoyed at all. I wanted to clear up the jet black skin comment. I definitely don't think that kangaroos are hopping around Sydney or Melbourne. In addition, I wanted to make sure that it was known that we have definitely assimilated as much as the other nationalities in America (even when we weren't accepted). A long standing story was that immigrants knew that in order to fit in when they first came to America that all they had to do was call us the "n" word. Black people have always wanted to be accepted and acknowledged for our contribution to this country. I may not like some of the things that happen, but I'm not going anywhere. Unfortunately, for us it was a long road. Not to mention that we've sabotaged ourselves. BET and crude movies don't define me and the people that I've encountered where it defines them, I stay away from.

The word fat doesnt bother me anymore. Im being serious too. I dont really let words bother me anymore, any of them. Whether or not it still bothers you is irrelevant. At one point it did - a lot, from the sound of it. So you're able to understand the power that a word can have, and you're able to understand the emotions that can be triggered by one single word. Because you personally claim to not be hurt by a word that once hurt you a lot doesn't mean the same holds true for everyone. You wanted people to stop using the word fat, so you're able to at least understand the concept of people not wanting to be called n-----. You wanted that respect, so pay it forward.

The only recent post you guys have pulled for evidence is from the stereotype entry. In that entry I explained that I wasnt racist, but because of my past had issues that I had tried to work out with a therapist, but still have problems with. Huh? What the heck are you taking about???

I made one response to that thread, addressing something Laurend said, that had NOTHING to do with you. I don't know why "you guys" is supposed to refer to, but maybe you're confused about who's who?

If you want to call me a racist thats fine. Umm, again... what the heck are you talking about? No one called you a racist. FFS - why would I want to call anyone a racist?

The word fat doesnt bother me anymore. Im being serious too. I dont really let words bother me anymore, any of them. Whether or not it still bothers you is irrelevant. At one point it did - a lot, from the sound of it. So you're able to understand the power that a word can have, and you're able to understand the emotions that can be triggered by one single word. Because you personally claim to not be hurt by a word that once hurt you a lot doesn't mean the same holds true for everyone. You wanted people to stop using the word fat, so you're able to at least understand the concept of people not wanting to be called n-----. You wanted that respect, so pay it forward.

The only recent post you guys have pulled for evidence is from the stereotype entry. In that entry I explained that I wasnt racist, but because of my past had issues that I had tried to work out with a therapist, but still have problems with. Huh? What the heck are you taking about???

I made one response to that thread, addressing something Laurend said, that had NOTHING to do with you. I don't know why "you guys" is supposed to refer to, but maybe you're confused about who's who?

If you want to call me a racist thats fine. Umm, again... what the heck are you talking about? No one called you a racist. FFS - why would I want to call anyone a racist?

Just because I quote you, doesnt mean that everything that I say is directed toward you. And SSDiva called me a racist. And comments that I have made over 2 years have been being pulled to use against me, however those are all old. I have changed a lot during college. Anything applicable to who I am now is from about July 2007 to now.

I already admitted way back that I had at one time let words bother me. Now I realize how ridiculous that was.

Words can bother anyone. Until the day we die words will be able to cut us deeper than any knife. But I see this is a moot point. Congratulations on your sudden and amazing tranformation, and best of luck in your future endeavors.

My transformation wasnt sudden. Words havent bothered me in a VERY long time. Thats what happens when you work in bars and have drunk constantly yelling at you or telling you things that most people would take offensively, but you get used to it and dont take it personally. I have grown over a year's time. I matured to realize that whatever people say, is what they say. Im taking my ex to court for slander among other things, but thats just because I can. Im going to do whatever I can to get him back in Jail or Prison for as long as humanly possible. You can say all the crap you want about me, but dont lie to me and dont leave me in the most important point in my life so far. He pissed me off, because of him Im miserable and stuck in my hometown. Its on!

P.S. You hang around gay clubs and guys enough, trust me words have little meaning after they are done with them lol! I remember how offended I was when I went to college over a lot of the words that they would use, now I think its hilarious we all walk around the club calling each other all kinds of crap.

Do you use or have you used the "N" word? What are your feelings on racism, and racial slurs and words? The poll is anonymous so answer truthfully, please.

No, I don't use that word, or the "F" word, you know, Isiah Washington's word....

I don't use "retard" or "fat" any word that I think it could be offensive or derrogatory, I think it's wrong.... I'm cuban and I've been called "rafter" even though I arrived here in a darn air plane... I've been called "fat", I could pass for a white person, so I've been called white trash by a black person.. I mean, those are all derrogatory words in my opinion and if I don't like to be called certain way, I won't do it to anybody else... and my kids would never, EVER dream of using those words... it's not even an issue in our home, it just doesn't happen...

This is interesting... the other day I read that Sarah Jessica Parker was named the most "unsexy" woman alive by some magazine.... which I couldn't care less... but what caught my attention was her reaction... she was interviewed by the London Mirror and they asked her how she felt about it and she said that she didn't care to be called unsexy, that that everybody should watch out because one of these days she was going to wake up "fat" and she she still was going to be happy, she repeated it twice.... well, I think that was uncalled for, why is she and I know many out there assume that because someone is overweight, they are unsexy or unhappy? I think that was prejudice and a derrogatory comment towards overweight people... but did anybody say anything about it? NO.... Actually I think that they should call everyone that uses any derrogatory word towards a group of people... Mel Gibson insulted the jews, then Richards the black people, Isiah the gay people, it's all wrong, they should all be repremended, and I just don't agree that others get away with insulting people by calling them fat and nothing is done about it, well, many overweight people have struggled their entire lives with obesity, generations of families, some people can't help it, some have medical reasons for being obese, it's hurtful when we are called "fat" it's derrogatory... why is that not a big deal though..? ugh!

Personally, I don't let words or names bother me even if they are offensive. When I was a kid I was called deigo, wop and guinny on numerous occasions by other kids and adults. I would just look at them like they were crazy because I was very proud of my heritage and I just didn't even get where they were coming from. Being called fat doesn't bother me either.

Every group of immigrants who have come to America, except possibly the English have been discriminated against. Definitly blacks who were forced to emigrate have suffered the most.

But I believe that everyone should be proud of their heritage and consider the source when people are name calling. It is the name callers who are the inferior ones because of their ignorance and intolerance. By holding your head high you defeat the purpose of those who would put you down for any reason.

Jodie, I take it that you are pregant. You have a lot of growing up to do. You really should be doing good things for yourself and your baby instead of arguing with people on this board. It really is not good to have negative feelings when you are pregnant. You are very young, but it is time to put away the childish things of the past and become the person that your would like your child to grow up to be.

I am not judging, just offering some motherly advice.

There are many words I don't care for. The "n" word, the "c" word, lots of 'em.

It is a reflection of the person using the word, not those they are referring to.

ABSOLUTELY , PERFECTLY SAID!

I do go to therapy. It made me stop thinking so much about other people, and start focusing on me and what's best for me. Why should I care if some stranger gets their feelings hurt? How will it negatively affect my child emotionally? Because I dont run up and randomly hug strangers or people I barely know and I dont censor myself to people I dont even care about. Strangers dont care about me, why should I care about them? Why care about people you dont even know exist? Why not focus on bettering yourself and becoming who YOU want to be, and not what others want you to be. I tried for years to be who everyone WANTED me to be, since I started focusing on myself my grades are up, I have a passion for life, and I take chances. Before I wouldnt make a move if I thought that anyone would dissapprove. Im a better person now that I dont care about other people. I guess you just gotta have the self-confidence not to let other people bother you or hinder you. My life has been 100x more fulfilled than before I started focusing on me.

Jodie, I know this is not my business and I REALLY mean this in a good way, more as a motherly advise...

I may be wrong....but it seems to me that you have been treated cold and in a heartless way and that is why you feel that way now...am I right? which if that's the case, I can understand where you are coming from....

BUt really, we should care about not hurting other people's feelings... and I don't mean in a debate, but just not caring at all about hurting someone ever...that sounds cruel.... obviously you don't see it that way, but it really does sound cruel, believe it or not, I've had strangers care for me before and more than once and one day it may happen to you too....

I think it's moraly and socialy responsible to care about people even when we don't know them.... for example, many care for the people in Darfur... me included, and this is just an example only, there are many people and causes that we care for, even if we haven't been in their shoes...I would absolutely LOVE to be able to help those.... and just because I feel that way doesn't mean you have to feel the same way, but a little compassion and care goes a long way... it actually softens your heart... and it gives you a nice good feeling...

Bettering yourself and caring about yourself is very good, but caring for yourself ONLY, is also selfish... so why not trying to balance it all out....?

Again, please take this as an advise with the best intentions...

Elena