So this is my second post (and yes I am back from traveling now so I will promptly reply to each person (: ). I've been doing so much research and watching so many Youtube videos on VSG and I keep going back and forth on whether I should proceed with the surgery or not. I still have 4 more weigh-in's before I'm done with the 6 month insurance coverage thing so basically 4 months until I can proceed to make a date. Sometimes I feel like yes this is exactly what I need, something to restrict my stomach and make me full quickly so if I eat like a half of an apple I'll be full for hours and can survive off of that and then a small salad with protein for dinner and that's it (plus water, tea, coffee). Making healthy choices but extremely small "meals" (obviously after the first few post-op required stages). But then I think well I do want that BUT I am not 100% convinced. Why can't I just make healthier, smarter, portion controlled choices now with the help of a dietitian and personal trainer so I don't have to undergo VSG? Technically you're not getting fat removed but shrinking your stomach to make it so you can't eat a lot but you're still following an extremely restricted diet, why not just do the same diet without the surgery? Is portion control too hard? Can anyone tell me why they got the surgery rather than just eating what they would have with the VSG but not actually getting it surgically done? I keep going back and forth because part of me like I previously said definitely can benefit from a difficult, but doable lifestyle change but another part of me thinks why can't I just do this on my own? What's stopping me from eating now what I would if I were post-op? I'm glad I still have time to decide but I'm just so confused right now.

Now the second part I just want to say (STOP READING IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY) there is your disclaimer. I want to better myself, make changes and eat healthy. I just don't want a lot of scars, loose skin scars (if I need body contouring) and I want to be able to have that once in a blue moon treat myself if it's a girls night out or birthday or vacation, etc. I don't want to fall into a depression because of fomo (fear of missing out), I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up sparkling water, sugar (in strict moderation, but I hate sugar free since it's just "sugar" but chemically made so it's not real sugar) and especially the whole drinking and eating rule.

If you have any feedback or thoughts that would be much appreciated, thank you everyone and I'm happy to be back (:

xo,

CashmereAndBones

Thank you for the response, I actually am reading your blog now! And thank you for all the statistics. Lots to think about. I hope your surgery is a well and good one for you and I wish you so much luck as you are about to start a new lifestyle journey! Best of luck!

Thanks! Two weeks until surgery! I am SO excited! I just launched my blog and start my official pre-op diet tomorrow! Best wishes to you as well!

My Blog: www.nourishingheather.com

HW: 325
CW: 314
Surgery Date: 8/1/18
GW: 160

Stay in therapy to explore all these issues and more. Some bariatric patients develop ED after surgery, or have a reappearance of one, it does happen.

Anyone can lose weight, most of us have had great success at losing weight, me included - this surgery helps KEEP the weight off, it changes the metabolism and the hormones. I am still on the journey to my goal - I will get there.

I wish you all the best. I am not dissuading you from a modeling career but just cautioning you that that path is rife with extreme body criticisms, chasing perfection, and prime for ED dysfunction. Have a plan B in place and stay in therapy.

26 minutes ago, CashmereAndBones said:

Hello! Thank you for a follow up. I do realize it is a life long commitment which is why I want to absorb everything I can before making a decision. Like I said I still have four months before I'm even allowed to set a date (if I choose to do so). I understand it's not fool proof and the questions I ask might be concerning but these are just things I want to know because I like to see how people at all different stages of post-op are doing and what they have and haven't incorporated back into their lives. Everyone does their journey differently so I'm trying to see all different prospectives and outcomes. I'm not asking these because I'm planning on getting the surgery and immediately going back to simple Syrup lattes, fast food chains, pastries, etc. but I'm asking because I want to know if people dabble in them and what their outcomes have been. One person said they had snacked on some sweets and it was on a vacation and they hadn't lost as much that week as others but it's good to know I'm not going to have to be a robot after surgery with absolutely no leeway on anything. I've also had not only BED but anorexia at one point when I was at my skinniest and I was afraid that going on suck restrictions for the rest of my life might bring back those tendencies. But I see there are mixed reviews, some people stick hard core to the post-op lifestyle and others are a little more free with it. Thank you again for another insightful post AshAsh1 (: I hope you are doing well! If you have any other advice, have you gone on vacation and wanted something and took a few bites of like a cake? Have you experienced FOMO? How did you deal with all of this? And anything else you'd like to add would be great! All the best.

I've def had some FOMO in the beginning stages. Oh, I remember going on a shopping trip that required a road trip with friends. On the way home, I had to find something from the gas station to eat.... They came back with Subway. I came back with a stick of cheese. It was saddening, at the time. When we have a couple party and I serve dessert, it sucks to be the only one not partaking. However, I could make it easier on myself and eat something with them, that is allowed on my plan. I'm getting better at ways to have yummy things that go along with my plan. I think I have FOMO the worst though when other people point things out, sometimes I don't even think about it, until my bestie says "Come over, I've got a bottle of wine with our names on it". While she knows that I'm not regularly partaking in alcohol, it just slips her mind.

I haven't slipped on anything pastry or cake-wise because I am afraid to dump. I think the fear alone is keeping me on track. I do eat SF ice cream and ice cream bars, but you can't find those things at restaurants while out with friends (which is when I think about it). Do I think that this will change overtime, and I'll be able to have a bite of cake at a birthday party, maybe? I'm good without it at the moment. I actually don't crave sweets much anymore. My weakness is chips... oh boy, I salivate over some chips. LOL And I eat some from time to time. I buy the little snack size baggies (like the size for kids lunch boxes) and I splurge. But I feel VERY guilty, every single time. I haven't gained from any splurges, but I can tell when my diet isn't fine tuned enough, and I stall out. The first thing to go for me is fruit.

Edited July 17, 20188 yr by AshAsh1

5 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I've def had some FOMO in the beginning stages. Oh, I remember going on a shopping trip that required a road trip with friends. On the way home, I had to find something from the gas station to eat.... They came back with Subway. I came back with a stick of cheese. It was saddening, at the time. When we have a couple party and I serve dessert, it sucks to be the only one not partaking. However, I could make it easier on myself and eat something with them, that is allowed on my plan. I'm getting better at ways to have yummy things that go along with my plan. I think I have FOMO the worst though when other people point things out, sometimes I don't even think about it, until my bestie says "Come over, I've got a bottle of wine with our names on it". While she knows that I'm not regularly partaking in alcohol, it just slips her mind.

I haven't slipped on anything pastry or cake-wise because I am afraid to dump. I think the fear alone is keeping me on track. I do eat SF ice cream and ice cream bars, but you can't find those things at restaurants while out with friends (which is when I think about it). Do I think that this will change overtime, and I'll be able to have a bite of cake at a birthday party, maybe? I'm good without it at the moment. I actually don't crave sweets much anymore. My weakness is chips... oh boy, I salivate over some chips. LOL And I eat some from time to time. I buy the little snack size baggies (like the size for kids lunch boxes) and I splurge. But I feel VERY guilty, every single time. I haven't gained from any splurges, but I can tell when my diet isn't fine tuned enough, and I stall out. The first thing to go for me is fruit.

Thank you AshAsh1, great insight and the way you feel about chips is how I feel about pastries and lattes. FOMO and dumping is my biggest fear. So much to think about! Best.

8 minutes ago, Sosewsue61 said:

Stay in therapy to explore all these issues and more. Some bariatric patients develop ED after surgery, or have a reappearance of one, it does happen.

Anyone can lose weight, most of us have had great success at losing weight, me included - this surgery helps KEEP the weight off, it changes the metabolism and the hormones. I am still on the journey to my goal - I will get there.

I wish you all the best. I am not dissuading you from a modeling career but just cautioning you that that path is rife with extreme body criticisms, chasing perfection, and prime for ED dysfunction. Have a plan B in place and stay in therapy.

I'm scared my ED will come back ): modeling is something I've always wanted to do, I literally have dreamed about it since I was little. It can be a horrific industry at times but there are perks too. I'll play it by ear. Thank you for your feedback, best!

At first I mourned volume eating, but not so much anymore. Food becomes less important as a destination - I am going out to dinner tonight - an annual thing with a group of girlfriends - it is now just to enjoy being with them as a stree-free evening. We always go to a high end place, have wine, appetizers, entrée and dessert. I will not order all that, I will order some though. I looked at the menu yesterday - and I will get an appetizer as my entrée, skip wine - have ice tea or maybe even a diet coke, and have three bites of dessert and bring the rest home for my husband. What I WILL do though is get ALL dressed up, made up, and soak up the compliments, catch up on everyone's happinesses and sorrows - it's not really the food.

11 minutes ago, CashmereAndBones said:

Thank you AshAsh1, great insight and the way you feel about chips is how I feel about pastries and lattes. FOMO and dumping is my biggest fear. So much to think about! Best.

Just remember that nothing is forever. I'd always recommend to get past the "honey moon" stage before you start experimenting with tempting foods. Make the most of those precious few months. Some people's last 3 months of rapid loss, and others longer. For me, a big slow down past 5 months. I lost 100 lbs by the time I hit 4 months. Now its taken me 2 months to lose 23lbs. So it does slow, and the further out we get, the more we feel normal and "normal" habits creep back in.

15 minutes ago, CashmereAndBones said:

Thank you AshAsh1, great insight and the way you feel about chips is how I feel about pastries and lattes. FOMO and dumping is my biggest fear. So much to think about! Best.

Here is a post that is good to read that shows we are all human. We all mess up and can laugh about it.

I definitely hear you in this post. I just started my process with my consult yesterday, and I thought I’d have 6 months to think about it, but it’s only a 3 month wait for me so my mind is now racing thinking about my options. I’ve lost 75 lbs on my own (what I’d like to lose at minimum now) but I gained it back and then some. I have PCOS which causes horrible insulin resistance and is preventing me from being successful on my own. I have to remind myself of the science, because I keep thinking “if I can do this with surgery, why can’t I without??” But... I can’t. My worry about surgery is more of complications. I work in a hospital with the most critical patients on a daily basis so my view of the horrid stuff that can happen is skewed and it makes me a bit skiddish of a “elective” procedure even though logically I know this is for my health and happiness and truly what I need. So... I’m just processing and trying to get myself mentally ready for taking a leap that could have negative health consequences by reminding myself constantly those negative possibilities are such slim ones. Good luck with your process!

1 hour ago, Sosewsue61 said:

At first I mourned volume eating, but not so much anymore. food becomes less important as a destination - I am going out to dinner tonight - an annual thing with a group of girlfriends - it is now just to enjoy being with them as a stree-free evening. We always go to a high end place, have wine, appetizers, entrée and dessert. I will not order all that, I will order some though. I looked at the menu yesterday - and I will get an appetizer as my entrée, skip wine - have ice tea or maybe even a diet coke, and have three bites of dessert and bring the rest home for my husband. What I WILL do though is get ALL dressed up, made up, and soak up the compliments, catch up on everyone's happinesses and sorrows - it's not really the food.

Thats great to hear that you can still enjoy a "normal" life and eat with friends but have portion control (: made me feel at ease.

1 hour ago, AshAsh1 said:

Just remember that nothing is forever. I'd always recommend to get past the "honey moon" stage before you start experimenting with tempting foods. Make the most of those precious few months. Some people's last 3 months of rapid loss, and others longer. For me, a big slow down past 5 months. I lost 100 lbs by the time I hit 4 months. Now its taken me 2 months to lose 23lbs. So it does slow, and the further out we get, the more we feel normal and "normal" habits creep back in.

Yes the honeymoon phase is crucial to succeeding I just don't want to feel like I'm constantly counting calories and not living a flourishing life when I move to Los Angeles. I remember flashbacks of when I was anorexic and would literally count EVERYTHING, from lettuce to carrots, fruit, coffee (black), etc. I just hope I don't fall into those tendencies again, also thanks for the follow up post of cheats and everything (: all the best Ash!! <3.

47 minutes ago, journeyofcurves said:

I definitely hear you in this post. I just started my process with my consult yesterday, and I thought I’d have 6 months to think about it, but it’s only a 3 month wait for me so my mind is now racing thinking about my options. I’ve lost 75 lbs on my own (what I’d like to lose at minimum now) but I gained it back and then some. I have PCOS which causes horrible insulin resistance and is preventing me from being successful on my own. I have to remind myself of the science, because I keep thinking “if I can do this with surgery, why can’t I without??” But... I can’t. My worry about surgery is more of complications. I work in a hospital with the most critical patients on a daily basis so my view of the horrid stuff that can happen is skewed and it makes me a bit skiddish of a “elective” procedure even though logically I know this is for my health and happiness and truly what I need. So... I’m just processing and trying to get myself mentally ready for taking a leap that could have negative health consequences by reminding myself constantly those negative possibilities are such slim ones. Good luck with your process!

You as well I hope your journey is a good one, I'm always here if you need a friend to vent or just converse with (: just keep doing your research and some Youtube videos I found very helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJGHPqGhf1TOLpJ4hUVF08w

I love this girl she's awesome, not sure if the link posted but on Youtube her name is Clusie L, check her out!

Mentally and emotionally I don’t think you’re ready @cashmeresndbones sounds like you don’t wanna feel ‘left out’ while you’re bettering your health. I’ve gone through all those questions myself 5 years ago and decided to try and do it myself.. I did manage to lose weight (50 lbs) gained it all back and some.. fast forward five years later and here I am going through the whole process again.
..but to each there own

Just now, 1Mila said:

Mentally and emotionally I don’t think you’re ready @cashmeresndbones sounds like you don’t wanna feel ‘left out’ while you’re bettering your health. I’ve gone through all those questions myself 5 years ago and decided to try and do it myself.. I did manage to lose weight (50 lbs) gained it all back and some.. fast forward five years later and here I am going through the whole process again.
..but to each there own

You're absolutely right. Right now I am not ready for the procedure. But the good thing is I still have 4 months to keep doing research and asking questions and watching Youtube videos and hearing other peoples experiences to get my mind, body and soul ready for this journey! I am going to see a dietitian July 31st (not through the VSG doctor, I see their nutritionist mid August). As of now I'm not emotionally there but I think that's why we have to go through the 6 month process to make sure this life changing surgery is the right fit for us! Thank you for your feedback and if you have any other advice I'd love to hear you out! Best.

PS: Just finished reading your article. You are gorgeous and I love those floral leggings! Keep on smiling (:

Thank you for reading! I want to document my journey so I can look back with pride on my progress and hopefully be a resource for others.

My Blog: www.nourishingheather.com

HW: 325
CW: 314
Surgery Date: 8/1/18
GW: 160