Hello. This is my first post, so I hope I’m putting this in the correct area. Introductions: I’m Jenn. I’m 36 years old, I’ve been married to an amazing man for 18 years, I have two kids (17 & 16 y/o), I’m a NICU nurse, and I’m 5’1” and 231 lbs with a BMI of 43.6. I’ve had two knee surgeries, I have heart issues, and just got diagnosed with sleep apnea. I’ve decided to move forward with surgery and I’m a bit nervous. My insurance requires a 6 month “medically supervised” weight loss program and this month will be my last appointment with my doctor before I can get my referral to the surgeon. I have a few questions for y’all: what helped you make the decisions between VGS and a traditional bypass? Also, I’m having trouble telling my friends in fear that I will be judged- which is weird because my friends are not the type of people who judge! But I think I don’t want them to seem me in a different light I suppose. How did you overcome these fears? Thanks for the advice!

3 minutes ago, jeromysgrl said:

Hello. This is my first post, so I hope I’m putting this in the correct area. Introductions: I’m Jenn. I’m 36 years old, I’ve been married to an amazing man for 18 years, I have two kids (17 & 16 y/o), I’m a NICU nurse, and I’m 5’1” and 231 lbs with a BMI of 43.6. I’ve had two knee surgeries, I have heart issues, and just got diagnosed with sleep apnea. I’ve decided to move forward with surgery and I’m a bit nervous. My insurance requires a 6 month “medically supervised” weight loss program and this month will be my last appointment with my doctor before I can get my referral to the surgeon. I have a few questions for y’all: what helped you make the decisions between VGS and a traditional bypass? Also, I’m having trouble telling my friends in fear that I will be judged- which is weird because my friends are not the type of people who judge! But I think I don’t want them to seem me in a different light I suppose. How did you overcome these fears? Thanks for the advice!

Welcome and Congrats on deciding to take control of your life with WLS.

I went with the Bypass because, having been banded back in 2011, my surgeon (the same one that installed the band) would not do a revision to sleeve due to increased potential issues at the staple line.

To tell or not to tell, that's a hot debate and it's a very personal one. I told a LOT of people, once it was official. I figured I'd control the narrative and not allow rumors to spread. So for me, by taking control of the conversation, I was able to prevent any negative issues from popping up. What you do, is going to be 100% up to you. There are LOTS of people that don't tell anyone anything. Me, I didn't see an issue with broadcasting my WLS.

Fear, if you didn't have fear I'd worry you weren't human. For me, even up until I was put under, I had some fears. But, I resigned myself to the understanding that, if I didn't do anything, I would end up dying much sooner than later. I trust my surgeon and surgical team enough that I knew they would do what was best for my health and my life.

I had to do 6 months of check-ins as well... even with the band in place. It sucked, but it didn't detract from my goals, outside of putting me behind the ball with my dream goal of being the same weight I was when I was 20, when I turn 40 this November. Could still happen, 58 lbs to go and only 157 days to do that in!

Seems like you've got a good understanding of everything a head of you, good luck!

Hello. This is my first post, so I hope I’m putting this in the correct area. Introductions: I’m Jenn. I’m 36 years old, I’ve been married to an amazing man for 18 years, I have two kids (17 & 16 y/o), I’m a NICU nurse, and I’m 5’1” and 231 lbs with a BMI of 43.6. I’ve had two knee surgeries, I have heart issues, and just got diagnosed with sleep apnea. I’ve decided to move forward with surgery and I’m a bit nervous. My insurance requires a 6 month “medically supervised” weight loss program and this month will be my last appointment with my doctor before I can get my referral to the surgeon. I have a few questions for y’all: what helped you make the decisions between VGS and a traditional bypass? Also, I’m having trouble telling my friends in fear that I will be judged- which is weird because my friends are not the type of people who judge! But I think I don’t want them to seem me in a different light I suppose. How did you overcome these fears? Thanks for the advice!

Don't tell anyone except spouse and that's my advice.

Sent from my LG-M153 using BariatricPal mobile app

Welcome to the site! This is a very friendly and supportive community.

Personally, I chose the sleeve so that there would be fewer long-term malabsorption issues. However, if you have GERD, the sleeve can make it worse. People who have bypass tend to lose faster, but for a shorter period of time. Sleevers can lose for a couple of years. Either one can get you to a healthy weight if you stay with your program. Also, there are ways to "eat around" both of them if you're not sufficiently committed.

Telling people - entirely up to you. Before surgery, I chose to tell only those whom I knew would be supportive. I didn't want to deal with having to justify myself to anyone. It was my decision. Now that the surgery is done and the weight loss is apparent, I don't volunteer the information, but if someone asks, I tell them. Again, entirely a personal choice. If your friends are generally supportive, I doubt they'll see you in a different light. They've probably watched you struggle and wished there was something you could do. It's not as though people don't know we're overweight.

Fears? My biggest fear was that I would fail, yet again. This is where having a good support network comes in. I find support groups to be invaluable, as is the advice from vets on this board. Friends and family have our best interests at heart, but they don't understand the "ins and outs" of daily living with WLS.

Anyway, good luck to you and continue to let us know how you're doing!

53 minutes ago, jeromysgrl said:

Hello. This is my first post, so I hope I’m putting this in the correct area. Introductions: I’m Jenn. I’m 36 years old, I’ve been married to an amazing man for 18 years, I have two kids (17 & 16 y/o), I’m a NICU nurse, and I’m 5’1” and 231 lbs with a BMI of 43.6. I’ve had two knee surgeries, I have heart issues, and just got diagnosed with sleep apnea. I’ve decided to move forward with surgery and I’m a bit nervous. My insurance requires a 6 month “medically supervised” weight loss program and this month will be my last appointment with my doctor before I can get my referral to the surgeon. I have a few questions for y’all: what helped you make the decisions between VGS and a traditional bypass? Also, I’m having trouble telling my friends in fear that I will be judged- which is weird because my friends are not the type of people who judge! But I think I don’t want them to seem me in a different light I suppose. How did you overcome these fears? Thanks for the advice!

Congrats on your decision! I decided on Bypass because I was at a very high BMI, and there is a higher recorded loss statistics with bypass. I also had GERD and it has completely illuminated it for me. As far as telling friends goes, I would hold off until its closer to time. One of my top pieces of advice is to only tell people who you know will be 100% supportive. A lot of people think that if you have WLS that the weight will melt off, but sometimes that's not the case. You don't want people to place unnecessary expectations on you. I think telling people that you have changed what you eat, and increased exercise is good enough. No one needs to know the specifics.

I chose the sleeve due to the fact that I wanted to keep things as "normal" as possible after I recovered. I wanted to be able to be able to get most of my nutrients in the long run from my food and be less reliant on supplements. Also for my particular problem with food (which was, to put it simply, eating A LOT at meals as opposed to lots of in between meal snacking or emotional eating) this was a good fit.

As far as telling people I was very open with anybody who asked about it and really didn't run into anybody who was discouraging, but I am also very thick skinned so it wouldn't have bothered me anyway. But that is a personal choice that you will have to make, some people decide to only tell their spouse/family and that is what works best for them.