Seriously Thinking About Backing Out
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I am totally freaking out... I have been thinking about this for two years. When I finally decided to do it, after much reading and research, my insurance changes and I am able to get approved in less then a month. I am scheduled to have surgery 11/09 and have the time to take off from work (although I really need to be there because things are crazy).
I should be counting my blessings, but after only one day of trying to do the pre-surgery liquid diet I have failed and I am absolutely freaked out. I tried the stupid Designer whey and I literally gagged three different times. The smell and the taste were so gross. What if I can’t find a liquid Protein that I can get down?
I guess I did not expect things to go so easily, and I should feel ashamed of myself when there are so many self-pays or people with difficult insurances who are absolutely sure this is the right thing for them. I feel that I have not had enough time to say good-bye to food. I know it really isn't a true good bye, but it could be if my body does not acclimate to the band like some others on this forum. I actually think I could live without cake the rest of my life, but the thought of never eating asparagus or broccoli or steak again, I am not sure if I can live with that.
What in the hell am I doing? Am I undermining my long term health if I back out? The idea of the surgery is freaking me out, the idea of not eating a normal diet for 6 weeks freaks me out. And ironically it sounds like when the band does not work, it makes eating those foods that got me here so much easier than eating the truly healthy foods that I like but eat to much of…Lord help me figure this thing out...
:help:
MollyBrown
Surgery Date: 11/09/07 Dr Singh-Maryland
Weight: 285lbs. Goal Weight: 170 lbs.
Age: 44