I have told my immediate family about my upcoming bypass surgery, but not my friends. I really don’t see my best friends that often, but that’s been my fault since they live right here. We do correspond everyday.

Even though two women are my best friends, they are the ones who will not keep a secret. I’ve learned the hard way.

I’ve been thinking ahead, and I see the following scenario coming up. After I lose a significant amount of weight, I know they will just ask me if I’ve had surgery. I don’t want to lie to them, but I will feel so much guilt if I do.

Has anyone run into this situation when people just bluntly ask if you’ve had WLS?

HW 275

CW 262

Surgery in December

4 hours ago, Rainbow_Warrior said:

I don't want this to come across as hurtful or negative but you may be awry in your estimation.

No best friend or true friend would 'open' your secrets and personal information to third parties.

That's the mistake people also make when assuming that anyone they speak to or mix with, including social media, is a friend.

If I was in your position, I'd be reassessing any one of my so called "best friends" if they were the sort of person that would open private information up to public scrutiny.

It has crossed my mind that a true friend would keep a secret. In a way, she can’t help it in that she gets a kind of high from it. Sad, but true.

1 hour ago, ColleenErin1974 said:

I totally agree with Rainbow_Warrior. Let your surgical team know about the certain staff member and your worries about her knowing. If she breaks HIPPA guidelines, it can be up to a $250,000 fine. You have every right to inform or not inform anyone you wish about WLS. Good luck to you on your journey! You can do this!

Great idea. As kind a person I am, I would definitely sue. I would be so angry.

8 hours ago, Skinnycows said:

I respect your choice and understand to a degree but I feel you're not doing yourself justice by hiding away. You need to be proud of your choice and proud you've decided to be healthy. There is nothing wrong with what you're doing and only by telling people and explaining can you teach their ignorance if they do react badly. At the end of the day it's your body and your choice and I think it's a shame to have to hide how much work you're doing to be a better you.

Sent from my HTC 10 using BariatricPal mobile app

You make a lot of sense. Thank you. ?

I am a clinician and am bound by very strict confidentiality laws. That person should be too. It is a gross violation of professionalism if they divulge your medical information. Your body, your choice. Personally, I chose not to publicize my WLS. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago and I chose not to share either. Over the years, I have had a urinary tract infection, a yeast infection and got a tooth extracted. Again I chose not to share. I just believe my medical information is private. It is your choice and don't feel pressured by anybody to divulge.

13 minutes ago, PrayingForWeightLoss said:

I am a clinician and am bound by very strict confidentiality laws. That person should be too. It is a gross violation of professionalism if they divulge your medical information. Your body, your choice. Personally, I chose not to publicize my WLS. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago and I chose not to share either. Over the years, I have had a urinary tract infection, a yeast infection and got a tooth extracted. Again I chose not to share. I just believe my medical information is private. It is your choice and don't feel pressured by anybody to divulge.

Thank you so much. ?

For people that ask I say that I'm working with a nutritionist to get my weight down quickly at first and then working on becoming stable to improve my health and to keep motivation up.

It's not a lie, just not the whole truth.

I'd just say when asked, "Magic, baby! Pure magic!"

3 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

I'd just say when asked, "Magic, baby! Pure magic!"

Lol!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!!

I'm a week post-op today and have only time my immediate family, my late in-laws, and my boyfriend. No one else needs to know, and if they bluntly ask I'll just tell them that I have gotten on track with my life and made a change to be a better me. I don't feel as if I'll have lied to anyone, because that's exactly what I did. (:

2 minutes ago, Tiphaynee said:

I'm a week post-op today and have only time my immediate family, my late in-laws, and my boyfriend.

Inquiring minds and all...did you have to schedule a seance to tell your late in-laws?

Just now, FluffyChix said:

Inquiring minds and all...did you have to schedule a seance to tell your late in-laws?

Lol no schedule, just kind of happened when it happened. Some people didn't know until the day of surgery when I sent out a mass text to the family. I'm a pretty private person though so telling people has never been a big to-do list in my head.

No one but my husband and niece who had the surgery know. I am down almost 35lbs,snd no one, not one person has said, you look like you are losing weight.
My surgery is an will stay private. If anyone does comment I am prepared to say thank you. And leave it at that. If they are nasty or snide I am prepared to say thank you and leave it at that.lol
If they mention weight loss surgery I am prepared to say, thank you, super sweetly, ( as in f**k you, southern style) and leave it at that.
No one's business, my body and I owe no one anything.

HW 274 SW 263 GW 125 GASTRIC SLEEVE 7/21/17. Height 5'1" instagram: K_aane_VSG

I remember how Star Jones was treated on “The View.” The other women were angry at her for not telling the truth. They treated her terribly. As I recall, she was simply trying to keep it private, but the other women shamed her for it.

I remember how Star Jones was treated on “The View.” The other women were angry at her for not telling the truth. They treated her terribly. As I recall, she was simply trying to keep it private, but the other women shamed her for it.

That is true. That was unfsir to her. And really, counting calories and watching what we eat is not a lie! ! That is what we do. Due to the smaller stomach we are able to eat considerably less which helps us not to over eat. But we must be mindful of what we take in and how is that different??
I know wls is stigmatized and perhaps someday it won't be. I just dont want to feel like I have to justify my choices or life to anyone.
I won't. This is my life and my health I am fighting for. Get on my wrong side and trust me, you will be sorry to hear my response...lol
To each his own.





HW 274 SW 263 GW 125 GASTRIC SLEEVE 7/21/17. Height 5'1" instagram: K_aane_VSG

If you know the person that works there I would anonymously send the HIPPA act to her desk and type a note saying don't tell anyone...It will def scare them enough to make them think hard about it.

Don't cave into feeling guilty, you will regret telling them if you do.... I regret telling my niece, I know she has blabbed it to the very person (s) I don't wish to know even though I swore her not to talk about it.