What to do with children?


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Hello! So I've been on this journey since January, and I'll find out my surgery date tuesday! I'm so ready

My question is for the moms out there. Particularly the single mothers (or fathers!) How did you deal with telling your children? I have an almost 4 year old and I know my mom will help watch him as I recover but my surgeon requires 2/3 nights at the hospital and will only release you if he feels comfortable with you going home. So did you tell your children what was going on or should I just say I'll be away on a trip? I don't want him to worry or be scared I'm in a hospital. I'm hoping for a November or December date so that there will be a lot of family around to keep him occupied!

Any tips??? Thanks!

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I'm wondering the same. I have kids of 4 and 8, and I don't want to tell them about the surgery. But I guess I will have to say something about mummy eating less to get a smaller stomach, to explain the weird eating habits.

I have got a late time of day for surgery, so I will follow my kids in the morning as usual. And then tell them I go on a trip or see a friend or something, haven't really desided. I think I will call in "sick" when I get back from the hospital the day after surgery, to get som slack in recovering. Luckilly I have a husband. Though he doesn't really think I should be getting surgery, he will support me and take the kids in the beginning.

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DO NOT LIE. Tell them in language they understand -- the younger ones just need to know that mom is going to be in the hospital so the doctor can help fix something that is broken in her tummy. Let them know what your limits will be once you get home - you won't be able to pick them up for a week or two and you will need to eat special foods because your tummy will hurt. You don't need to say its surgery - but answer any questions in a way that they can understand.

They won't know to be scared that you are in the hospital unless you tell them to be scared. If you tell them you are having the doctor help you get better, just like when they see the doctor - no problems.

My kids are older - they were 13 and 16 when I had my surgery last year. But I was very upfront with them. When one asked I even showed them a video of the procedure.

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4 year olds don't care about anything besides themselves. The only thing a four year old needs to know is that mommy is going to the doc, and to be careful of her sore tummy when she gets back. Answer any questions appropriately.

I drew a pic for my 9 year old, and let him know what the deal was.

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My 6 year old couldn't care less... she only knows because she stayed with grandma while I was in Mexico having surgery and overheard me talking about surgeries in conversations. She said I didn't look skinny when I got back from surgery and hasn't really said anything since... kids that age really don't care and I wouldn't have directly told her or mentioned it had she not heard about it in conversations. My older daughter is 10 and I did talk to her about surgery some. She is a bit more mature for her age and was genuinely curious and interested and has done great not telling others about my surgery, however I only went into details with her because she also heard me discussing it with family otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to her either


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