My husband is set to have it in a few months and I feel we are not on the same page. Any spouses out their, especially women, been through it already and can help me out? He just seems so lax about it and nothing has changed!

I was too. For some of us a few months is far enough out to make it not feel real. I felt like I'd read all I could and had the worst time staying on any diet (as I always did). I was almost burnt out on all the preop stuff. Once my two week diet started and I had my date I kicked it into gear. Organized my vitamins, stuck to the diet etc
For me, making all the dietary changes before surgery was so difficult. Chewing my food 20 times seemed dumb since for 3 weeks after surgery I was on liquids. I'm a week out and am doing well. I'm curious as to what you think he should be doing that he isn't.

I guess I feel he isn't doing enough research and getting used to protein powders and things like that. I suggested he should join this site and/ or we get some counseling about this surgery but he doesn't see the need. He feels I don't care anyway so why bother. He seems to think this is solely about him and won't affect us but I think otherwise. To me, it should be a family endeavour to make it work. I am also worried after 14 yrs of marriage and 3 kids, he will have a whole new look on life and us not being a part of it?.

You can't do it for him. And if you research, you will see that there will be changes and high emotions, and more changes. Just tell him you are willing to make food changes to get through all the food stages and to let you know what HE wants them to be and then let go of preconceived scenarios. But if you know his trigger foods then don't buy them, no kid is gonna die if they can't have pizza - they can go to a friend's house or out w/o their father. Just serve simpler meals - chicken/fish vegetables and give the kids snacks on the side. Don't bring home takeout food.

Well to some extent it is kind of pointless to buy a lot of protein powders and stuff pre-op. What you like pre-op you might not like post-op. Buying a lot of stuff is kind of pointless. At the one year mark I threw out so much protein. I just threw some other protein I had from before surgery and right after a couple days ago cleaning out the cabinets.

I love premier protein shakes and used them for years before surgery as a meal replacement. Once I had them for weeks and months and they were my main source of food, I don't know if I will ever touch another one again. I haven't had a protein shake in months, and I doubt I will ever have another one again.

If your husband wants out the marriage after 14 years, well that is normal for anyone, WLS or not. If you see cracks in your marriage might as well start working on them now, instead of later.

And honestly his weight loss surgery and recovery is mainly about him. Just because other people are around, no one is going to feel it or know what he is going through but him. A pre=op patient can't imagine what life is like really post-op just like people who recently had WLS have no idea what long term life is like. You have to live it. You guys can't live it for him, even if you are living it with him,

Plus things are really only different the first 3 to 6 months, after that life is pretty normal.

Thanks to all replied. We see how it goes.