Ok here goes:

My husband and I are seperated and I have been talking with someone that I met on an online dating site. It started out as emails, then exchanging pics, chatting, and now phone conversations. We seem to get along really well. He asked me to go out with him this weekend but I am very nervous.

I have been overweight all my life and just had lapband surgery in Aug. I've lost 20 pounds so far and feel great but am still lacking in the self-confidence department.

So here is my question:

1- Do I tell him that I am overweight? Or does that sound too lame

2- Do I tell him I had lapband surgery? Or is it too soon?

I am really stressing over this so please give me some feedback!

Valzie

If you exchanged pictures, I'm not sure there is anything to say. The only time I've ever heard a guy complain about meeting a chick that was over weight was when the pictures they sent were older and they'd gained weight, or something like that.

If it comes up, you can just tell him you're 'on the way down', but I wouldn't bother mentioning the surgery.

Thank you so much for the advice. I have been married for 15 years and dont know what to do.

The picture I sent was recent but only a head and shoulder shot. I mean when I think about it is my issue and may not be an issure for him.

Thank you

Valzi

You got your thinking all backwards! Reverse it and start thinking, "What am I going to think about HIM?"

I did online dating for a couple years, and I learned to say volumptous, curvy for description in my profile. But, one-on-one emails, I'd be upfront and say that I was overweight, but "working on it" ha ha...etc.

I also learned to gracefully excuse myself in the middle of the date when the men who said "6'1" were math impaired and meant 5'2", or any other truths that turned out not to be. After all, being big, I was looking for a big guy. People lie and it wastes time.

So, I suggest being honest, but flattering about yourself. If they back out of the date after you describe yourself (or see pics) then good...move on the guy who's interested. Because there are plenty who are!

Hope this helps, and doesn't scare you! I enjoyed online dating. Also, just take your chances...live and enjoy life. This guy probably isn't THE ONE, so just have fun with it. BREATHE....IN.....OUT.

What Voon said.

He ought to be lucky you are giving him an hour of your time. Don't fret about what he'll think of you. Know you'll knock his socks off. If you don't knock his socks off, it wasn't meant to be.

Good luck and GO GO GO on that date.

Valzie,

I wouldn't say anything about being overweight...your weight is not what defines you as a person...He has already shown an interest in you, so just go and enjoy yourself...he may be overweight....good luck...I hope you have a great time...

Make sure you have an OUT! Meet at a public place and get yourself there.... if there is no chemistry you can shake hands and say goodbye.....

The most important thing is to have FUN! View it as practice for the rest of your life! and this goes without saying...... if you've been hitched for 15 years.... THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS OUT THERE NOW that weren't there the last time you were in the market. BE CAREFUL! Buy your own condoms!

Thanks for all the great advice girls! I love it. Yes I know I need to redo my thinking process. And you are all very right. I have been upfront and sent a picture so whatever happens happens. But I know one thing I am ready to start living again!

Valzie

Now that's the attitude I'm talking about!

You go girl!