Hello,

I am desperately in need of some help. My husband had the sleeve gastrectomy in October. He's lost 115 pounds and looks amazing! In the beginning he was very strict and followed his diet. Now in the past month I've noticed him cheating more. He will take 1 bite of everything he's not supposed to eat, and sometimes more. I mentioned it to the nutritionist and she said it's okay as long as it's only 1 bite to satisfy his craving. It's starting to be more than one bite, and if I say something or give him a look it starts a huge fight!

The other night I came home and saw a dirty ice cream bowl in the sink. I told him how worried I am bc my old boss regained ALL her weight from alcohol and ice cream. He fixed his body but not his brain. I'm 100% sure he's going to regain the weight if he's already cheating 5 months out. We have a baby now and I want him to be alive to see it grow up! He refuses to go to counseling. Please give me some advice on how to be supportive!

It's the food addiction many of us suffer. If you changed the above references from food items to alcohol, you would have a recovering alcoholic that is starting to fall off the wagon again, right?

Tell dear husband he needs help. Be that in the form of going to a local bariatric surgery group monthly, or seeing a psychologist, or self help in the form of a book. Coincidentally, there is a good book on amazon called Never Binge Again which happens to be free in kindle version for a limited time. I would pick it up and see if it can help him with his situation.

The bottom line is that if you don't change your relationship with food, you will never be successful long term. He's an adult, and he's going to have to see that for himself. I would point that out as kindly as you can, but eventually, he's either going to work to get it together, or he'll gain back all of his weight and have to live with fact that he put his body through a traumatic surgery for nothing.

You are already being supportive, this is all on him. If he is causing fights I would ask him point blank, is that stupid bite of food worth the fight? Does it really mean more to you than the health of the family?

Stamina and hard-truth reality!! That's what helps me. Remind him of what he has been through, the money he has spent, the time he has invested, how far he has come and the progress he has already made... I hope things work out!! Good luck

Show him pictures of how far he's gone from before surgery to his current -115 lbs self. It works for me when I feel like giving in. If that doesn't work, he could see a support group or get professional help either from his nutritionist, or psychologist. Food addiction sucks & the sad part is we all need to eat, but to eat out of control, there is an underlying emotional issue that needs to be fixed.


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 180.8
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

As was mentioned above, HE HAS TO DO THIS!!! It is so easy to fall back into bad lands believe me!! I am 3 and 8 months out. I had problems with strictures and couldn't eat hardly anything. So I ate what I could keep down. Both my Surgeon and his PA knew what I was eating but they were in the mind set that I had to eat something. So long story short I could eat oatmeal, Cheeto's and crackers!! Well, I don't eat Cheeto's any more but those DARN CRACKERS have a great big hold on me!! I fight with night eating everyday. I wake 2 and 3 times most night s and guess what I eat YEP CRACKERS. I get a hold on it and then I fall off the wagon again. Now my hubby had a Sleeve done in June of 2016. He has not followed his program much until the last few months. So I go with him to his DR appointments which his DR was kind of jumping on him. He said My wife really does a great job of taking care of me. Do you know what his DR said? She said, Mister this is on you!! Not her!! You have to do this not her!! I was a little shocked. But the bottom is THEY DO NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!! I know it is hard. I still give him looks or say things about not making yourself sick but.....it is on him. I don't force feed him and I'm sure you don't with yours. I am sorry that you are going thru this and I know how hard it is for sure. Just keep doing what you can and know that he will wake up again and hope it is before he gains to much of his weight back. Hugs