As I lose the weight, now down 70lbs, I expect more and more people to notice and make a positive comment about it. (The exact opposite thought when I was gaining my weight.)

I was with family and friends last week and their reaction was minimal. I was a little bothered by the lack of reaction, and then realized how hypocritical it is of me to want reactions now, but a few short months ago I did not want any attention given to my physical condition.

A- I am still 280, so it's not like I am skinny.

B- I am wearing smaller size clothes, so my stomach (flat tire) is still visible.

C- it's ok for now as I am only ½ way, and even if no one notices, I do and that is enough.

During that same week we went as a family to Knotts berry farm, I was able to fit on all the rides and roller coasters with my daughters which was a big deal to me personally. I am currently not a slave to my cravings and feel a since of freedom I haven't felt for a very long time.

Do I want people to still notice, yes. But it was a good lesson to learn, I don't need it.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Weight is also a pretty sensitive topic so a lot of people don't want to ask. Like they don't want to offend you if you aren't actually losing weight. My boyfriend and I were talking to our landlord last night who knows I am pre-op for WLS. He kept bring up that my boyfriend lost weight and I was kinda hinting at my weight loss and I just got the feeling that he felt so uncomfortable mentioning anything to me about my weight.

Lol, I'm sure he noticed, but no sane man is bringing up anything about a woman's weight. [emoji23][emoji23]

As you start to lose weight, you will get reactions that you are not expecting. Some good, some bad. One of my friends asked me did I did I think I looked better than her now. She said it in a way that she tried to make it look like a joke, but it wasn't..lol. Funny thing is, we are very good friends and she is actually in my upcoming wedding. You have to realize that people are going to be shocked sooner rather than later about your transformation, and some of your friends and family will expect you to act different. What people found out about me, that I was the same person I was from the start. I didn't think I was anything I wasn't before. I always been the "****" and losing 100lbs didn't do anything to change that..LOL. Don't let people take your joy..as I have said before, people will be jealous and even some will be nervous about how you are changing. Its our job to remain humble, but proud of OUR hard work. That's right, people can say this is the easy way out, but its the hardest thing I have EVER done!
Keep up the good work!!

Haters make you famous!

Lol, I'm sure he noticed, but no sane man is bringing up anything about a woman's weight. [emoji23][emoji23]

Hahaahahhahhaa. Well said.

As I lose the weight, now down 70lbs, I expect more and more people to notice and make a positive comment about it. (The exact opposite thought when I was gaining my weight.)
I was with family and friends last week and their reaction was minimal. I was a little bothered by the lack of reaction, and then realized how hypocritical it is of me to want reactions now, but a few short months ago I did not want any attention given to my physical condition.
A- I am still 280, so it's not like I am skinny.
B- I am wearing smaller size clothes, so my stomach (flat tire) is still visible.
C- it's ok for now as I am only ½ way, and even if no one notices, I do and that is enough.
During that same week we went as a family to Knotts berry farm, I was able to fit on all the rides and roller coasters with my daughters which was a big deal to me personally. I am currently not a slave to my cravings and feel a since of freedom I haven't felt for a very long time.
Do I want people to still notice, yes. But it was a good lesson to learn, I don't need it.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

When I began to lose weight no one commented for quite some time. Then once I turned a certain corner the comments began and they made me feel a little weird to be honest. When you say WOW you've lost so much weight, you look so much better!! / it's likes saying that you looked like a moldy cheeseburger before or something. How do you compliment a persons weight without insulting them? Very difficult.
Then, even worse, when I lost A LOT of weight, the "you look sick, you look too thin, don't loose any more weight " comments began. Those hurt. Just the other day one of my best friends said "wow you look soooooo much better!!!l" I've gained 15 lbs a and yeah I look better. But it's like saying , wow you looked like **** before".

It's such an awkward compliment. Therefore I never comment on weight period. I say things like -
I love your outfit, your hairstyle, your smile is so pretty... I love your personality, you are a great friend. Etc. I compliment on choices people make like choosing a great top or success in a sport or job.

It's not that you don't look great and it's not that people don't notice. I'm sure they do. But they don't want to hurt your feelings and you know... your weight probably never mattered to them. Because they love 10000 other things about you.

You know you've done well and are getting fit and getting back in control of your life. Walk proud. Own it. Strut your stuff. The only person who's opinion matters is your own. Compliment yourself, daily.

Getting good feedback is awesome and it will start happening. People these days want to be careful about. Among comments about weight because they don't want to wrap an compliment into an insult. I'm sure they notice they are just trying to be polite.

Be proud of yourself and own your hotness. People notice when you smile, have more energy and love, and send positive energy outward. That's what matters most.

Maybe, just maybe, have you considered that everyone thought you were just fine before and loved you just as much? Cause I bet they did.

Great point.

I know they did, it was my own shame and sense of failure that I introduced into the relationship. Most people I come in contact with during my day and life, I simply don't care what they think. But there are those few that I care a lot about what they think of me, and so I add those dynamics above because of my insecurities matched with my love and respect for them. Not their fault, it is all my crazy trying to project the best me with 150 extra pounds on my body.

Thanks for your continued insight.

Great point.

I know they did, it was my own shame and sense of failure that I introduced into the relationship. Most people I come in contact with during my day and life, I simply don't care what they think. But there are those few that I care a lot about what they think of me, and so I add those dynamics above because of my insecurities matched with my love and respect for them. Not their fault, it is all my crazy trying to project the best me with 150 extra pounds on my body.

Thanks for your continued insight.

Only 1% of this wls journey is about weight. 99% of it is really about self care, self worth, self esteem. Those are the hard issues and if you don't work past them then wls is pointless. It sounds like you are getting to that introspective point and that's awesome.

Overweight people are usually perfectionists and extremely self critical. They have low self esteem and boundary issues and relationship issues. They have trouble embracing others and with intimacy. That's why therapy is an important part of this process. The weight will come off and it will challenge you to redefine who you are and how you think of yourself. It takes time. I can see you're well on your way and I'm happy for you. Keep going.

Try and let go of the shame and guilt for gaining weight. There are a multitude of reasons people gain weight and none of them reflect who you are as a quality human being. Being overweight is not a crime and does not make you a bad or weak or lesser person. Let go of the guilt. Love yourself, every inch, every pound, every choice, and forgive.

[emoji4]

Only 1% of this wls journey is about weight. 99% of it is really about self care, self worth, self esteem. Those are the hard issues and if you don't work past them then wls is pointless. It sounds like you are getting to that introspective point and that's awesome.
Overweight people are usually perfectionists and extremely self critical. They have low self esteem and boundary issues and relationship issues. They have trouble embracing others and with intimacy. That's why therapy is an important part of this process. The weight will come off and it will challenge you to redefine who you are and how you think of yourself. It takes time. I can see you're well on your way and I'm happy for you. Keep going.
Try and let go of the shame and guilt for gaining weight. There are a multitude of reasons people gain weight and none of them reflect who you are as a quality human being. Being overweight is not a crime and does not make you a bad or weak or lesser person. Let go of the guilt. Love yourself, every inch, every pound, every choice, and forgive.
[emoji4]

You are my new favorite person

After I lost 120 pounds with the band and posted my before and after pictures- several of my coworkers and close friends came up to me and said they never believed I was that big... I think we have an image in our heads and fix on it - and the people that see us frequently don't see us the same way and don't see the change like we do. I don't think the other coworker was being mean in not recognizing your weightloss- she probably sees you as YOU not your body and that to me is a great thing.

I think you are lucky! I am a private person and not planning to tell anyone but my parents and husband about WLS. I have mentioned eating better to friends and co workers, so they aren't shocked and have lost weight pre surgery- but I really REALLY don't want people to say things like "whoa you really lost weight, or how did you do it etc" it makes me super uncomfortable to talk about weight with people. I loath the idea of my aunts or other relatives bringing this up at family events...

Same here

Same here

Same! I'm having revision surgery for the lap band and not telling a soul- I told people when I had the band... I hated that became the topic and from family- same stuff - can you eat that? Did you get sick again? Are you bulimic? ughhh I was questioning not telling until I read this.... thanks for the reminder!