My RNY gastric bypass surgery is December 13! I'm excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. After all the doctor appointments and tests I am finally cleared for surgery. I have told really no one except my husband, parents, and my aunt who is my best friend. I really thought everyone would be happy for me..... I was wrong. My husband is the only supportive person. Negativity is all I have heard from my parents and aunt. Due to that only my husband knows the date. The comments my parents and aunt have made has only made me more nervous and question if this is a good decision. I have been told I need to work harder to lose weight, I am taking the easy way out, and I will just regain all the weight I lost, etc... Has anyone else encountered discouraging remarks? How do I get them to be supportive and understand this is a decision that took 3 years of research, prayer, and thinking.

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Edited December 1, 20169 yr by brandyshell

I'm having my pre op stuff done today for my RNY Wednesday the 7. I have told very few people for the very same reasons.

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@@brandyshell - this is my very first post in this forum. I just had RNY surgery last Weds (Nov 30), and I understand your worries exactly.

I too was (and still am) "excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time".

Until a week prior to surgery, I only told my parents, my siblings and my wife's siblings. Last week, my wife convinced me to share it with a few of our close friends. Fortunately for me - all family and friends were supportive, even if they might think it's an easy way out. Although we know it isn't!

Bottom line - you know it's right for you, and that's what you must keep telling yourself - despite the naysayers. It's likely the best way to have significantly increase quality of life going forward as well as massively lowering your health risks.

Sure there are risks with surgery -- I was increasingly worried about complications the closer my surgery came.

Thank God, my surgery went very well - as yours is likely to go as well.

If some of your family members are negative - you can simply choose not to discuss it with them. Or one possible tactic is to say that the surgery is not the solution - it just buys you 12-18 months to change your relationship with food. Remember - you get to choose whether to talk about it or not with those around you.

My best wishes to you, brandyshell -- believe in your decision and be determined to succeed!

Edited December 4, 20169 yr by Goin4HealthMan

_{Thank you Goin4healthman! I truly appreciate your encouragement. I love your suggestion of rewording of "Is not the solution - it just buys you 12-18 months to change your relationship with food." Thank you for confirming my excited, scared, and nervous all at the same time is completely normal as to you also had the same feelings. It's wonderful that the people you have shared your surgery with are supportive. Perhaps once my surgery is over and the weight begins disappear I will let the naysayers know its a result of my surgery and most of my hard work.}

_{Best wishes and speedy recovery to you!}

Edited December 4, 20169 yr by brandyshell

Sashes....Best of luck to you on your surgery. Hopefully you as well can look past the negative remarks and focus on you and your health. As mentioned, my husband is the only person who knows the date, and this is intentional. With the flooding of emotions I am feeling I don't need any negative comments the closer I get to my surgery date. They will only see the results, and it may remain my secret. ; )

I only told my siblings and my husbands side of the family. I did not tell my parents for the same reason. Everyone else found out after my surgery. As long as your husband is supportive doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. It is your decision and for those who aren't supportive they just don't understand what you are going through. A lot of people think this surgery is the easy way out but they don't realize that it is harder than just regular dieting.

After my parents found out I did this surgery they told everyone they new and everyone hounded me when I went to a family gathering and told me that I made a mistake and that I am going to regret this in a few months. They all said why would you do something like this to your body. None of them realize how my weight was affecting me and my health.

Not everyone you know and love is going to be supportive but if you stick to the diet and show them how much this is going to help you they will eventually come around and realize how important this is to you. Hang in there!

Good luck on your surgery and hope you have a speedy recovery.

I've been telling everyone on Facebook and have heard nothing but positivity back about it. I'm not sure why people would choose to be negative about it but those people are not worth your time, imo. Kind of hard when it's family though.

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@ brandyshell I no how it feels not to have no SUPPORT AT ALL!! I'm happy you already have your hubby for support ! ???? but had for others some people don't think before they speak ! So I think if they love you then they will respect your decision 100% & support you then make you feel worse !! I pray for you to find peace of mind and peace in your heart!!

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