A friend of mine made a comment saying "Once peple lose weight and get hot they won't date overweight people". As to say that lack of confidence keeps overweight people with overweight people or we/they have less standards in dating. I was upset by this. But it got me thinking.....

I was not always overweight. My gain was during my adult years after childbirth. I had served my country and kept my body in shape. But after the birth of my son, I maintained a steady 240 lbs for about 10 years. However, even before that I always liked guys/girls with fuller figures or a "yummy tummy". I don't think that will change once I reach a healthier weight and get back in shape but I wonder if that would change for other people? Would you only want to date someone who was more fit or not on the heavier side? Aside from the health and/or food issues, if there were any, what else would be factors in the decision of NOT dating someone overweight?

Just interested...

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As for myself im not dating anyone overweight to go forward on my journey I need a health nut like myself not go backwards I'm moving forward but than again that's just my opinion lol

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Yes my husband is overweight not morbidly but overweight yes. I love him and couldn't imagine myself with anyone else he has been by my side thru chunky,fat,obese, and morbidly obese. I know he loves me for me!!!

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I am more than my weight and so is everyone else. I have been attracted to overweight men and well as men who are at a healthy weight. It just depends on who the person is and what their personality is like.

I've never dated.. there is a guy that I believe likes me and he is very very overweight....

I've been fat most of my life and feel I've been rejected because if it...

Now that I decided to have surgery, I feel like j wouldn't want want to date this guy unless I knew he wanted to be get healthy too bc I would worry that his eating would cause problems in my diet plus I would want someone to exercise with...

However as a overall generalization as your friend o

Put it, i dobt think that's true. Many people are attracted to overweight mates and beauty, Intelligence , life experience is more then skin deep...

Most of Americans are overweight and most ppl are together, partnered, married or dating so I don't think ur friend is accurate at all

I actually think its true, particularly with people who were obese or morbidly obese. Not because they dont find heavy people actractive, but because they need to chose partners that will help them maintain their new lifestyle.

Most of us gain "love weight" when in a committed relationship. Someone who was obese and had to take it off with WLS already has predaliction towards unhealthy relationships with food. If they match up with someone who has that same issue then there can be problems including regain.

My husband and I met through Medifast. We were both 326 pounds. Over the next seven months we both lost 65 pounds. But when we physically got together (as it was an online relationship in the beginning) our tendency to backslide pulled each other off track. By the time we had lived together for 6 years we had regained the weight we lost plus another 60 pounds. If we had both connected with health nuts would we have backslide? Probably not.

HW 385 SW 359 CW 335 (50lbs down!) Sleeved 10/5/16

Edited November 16, 20169 yr by QueenOfTheTamazons

I am with a man who is overwiegth but not morbid.. He walked this journey decision with me..and understood this was for me..health wise..It had med him slef conscious on what he eats and around me..I love him for giving me the choice and not hassle to male my decisions about my health..

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No, but hear me out. I have always been attracted to skinny guys. Even having been overweight myself in the past, I just really like very tall, skinny guys. I wouldn't go for a buff guy either. I don't care for all those huge muscles. I married a guy who is 6'2" and about 170 lbs.

I think it's more about lifestyle than the weight itself, but the end result may be the same. If I were on the market, I wouldn't be interested in dating/marrying anyone who would essentially sabotage the healthy habits I'm trying to establish. I'm lucky that my husband while carrying a few extra pounds right now is wanting healthy food in the house and an active lifestyle. I've actually been the one holding us back from that with my health issues that are slowly resolving post surgery. It would be very hard to be on this path with a partner who wasn't interested in a healthier lifestyle.

It depends on the person.

I have dated tall and short women, some very slim and petite, some much curvier and while not obese, certainly textbook overweight.

What matters to me is how a person feels about themselves. They are some simply stunning women who are overweight. Their self confidence makes them radiant and attractive to others.

I'm married, so I don't plan on dating anyone else but there are certain people I meet and I think "I just have to get to know this person."

Similarly, people who lack self confidence are too challenging for me to be around. People whose only opinion of themselves is constructed by others. People who can't be seen being silly or having fun because it's not cool to others. Who can't walk past a window pane without admiring themselves in it. People who constantly criticize themselves in front of others in an attempt to elicit sympathetic or vindicating responses from others.

I love confident and down to earth people. THAT is what attracts me to others.

No, I would not. I've always disliked overweight men. I don't mind a bit of extra weight, or thick-boned guys, but if BMI is close to 30 or over, it's not going to work for me.

For whatever reason, I've always been able to attract thin or even athletic partners despite my being overweight/obese (some times more than others) so I see no reason to go for anything but what I'm attracted to.

On the other hand, it's not always about weight either... For the reasons other posters have outlined above, as a WLS patient I just wouldn't put myself into the situation of being with someone who doesn't care about their health.

I haven't dated for years, with depression and dealing with my health insures I couldn't think on dating. I'm sure by the time I start my journey and get healthy maybe I'll consider dating. If it happens fine, if not no big deal.

I'm 55 yrs old so it's harder to date.

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In my personal opinion, I am attracted to a persons personality, not thier physical characteristics.

Being overweight my whole life, I know what it feels like to be judged and not given a chance just because I was fat.

Now that I changed my lifestyle, I would NEVER not give someone a chance based on appearance!

I know all too well it feels..

Just my 2 cents

Yes. The person on the inside with the qualities I value are the most important. Before getting to know someone, it is impossible to know what their desires in life are. Being overweight doesn't mean they would be a bad influence on me, and I might just be a good influence on them.

No, I wouldn't. But not because of looks - I much prefer intelligence. That person wouldn't have the lifestyle I'm after. I'm married and don't care what my husband weighs, he's slightly overweight but it's never had any bearing on how much I love him. But if I were single, I'd want a partner in crime for this new lifestyle as opposed to someone who would be ordering fried cheese sticks and buffalo wings just to get the party started.