Saw the most idiotic guy on a date tonight. I just wanted to smack the young twit. He thought he was being thoughtful asking his date what she wanted, where to go. He was peppering her with questions, trying to be sensitive to her feelings. What an idiot, bless his heart.

Always remember, women use both sides of their brains all the time. This means they are not only wondering what might taste good but how you feel about what she suggests and then she'll start thinking about how her friends will react on where they went yadayada.

I'll slap you if you say that's dumb...it is just the way women are wired. That's why they can make everything beautiful when they are feeling safe and inspired. A date is the one time she can relax a little. Make the reservations. Get a baby sitter if you have kids. Just do it. It doesn't have to be extravagant, ubber thoughtful, just take care of everything so she can relax a little.

Little things mean everything to her. This does not mean unilaterally clean out the savings account to buy a boat. It means in these little things, just take care of it. It means everything to her just to be able to relax for a few hours every now and then.

So take a lesson from "Mr. Sensitive" idiot. Just take care of it. If you don't she will be tired when the evening is done and that kind of defeats the purpose. You want her to be relaxed and energized. (Yeah, wink, wink, woo hoo - trust me)

NOTE: If she objects to your decision, its for a reason she can't articulate, don't argue. So plan B's are a good thing to have too.

I can't believe it took me almost 50 years to really figure this out, but ever since I have taken this approach in dating, I have observed how the women in my life just relax and can be themselves. Test it out. Look into their eyes. You will see the narrow focus loosen up, their smiles will show in their eyes. The eyes sparkle. I hope you can see that deep joy in their soul. For most women, being taken care of is so different from everything else in their lives they absolutely love it and they have no idea why. Here's why...they finally feel safe and cared for. Occasionally be extravagant, but 99% of the time, little things mean everything.

@@OKCPirate

Wow, I love your post!!!! Thankfully i am very lucky and have a man that after 29 years of marriage knows exactly how to help me relax.

He is the date night guy, I am the family travel coordinator for vacations. I prefer he take care of date night and we usually have a quick conversation so he knows what i am up for.

Tonight we are having date night.....my favorite steak place in Milwaukee. Nice slow relaxing meal, lots of great conversation (yes, we still have plenty to talk about). And who knows ......maybe that will lead to some fun at home for us! LOL

Lest not forget a couple of really great glasses of wine! Wine makes me very mellow!

That's how it should be. Nice to know that there are couples who get it right.

Everybody enjoys being taken care of, not just women. Mostly, it's the relationship between those involved that determines how things go.

Sent from me to you!

Yes. If Pirate-san had put it that way.... Don't tell him that I'm saying this, but I do believe he's a good, sound, sane man who is a good sweetie. (He knows it.)

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Umm, I am posting in the Guy's Room. I did that for a reason. I would have phrased everything differently in Mars/Venus or Single forum or Rants. I don't mind ladies chiming in, except on matters of style when it comes to addressing other guys. I hope I have been respectful to others in tone in various forums, but in a very NY fashion let me say "hey don't bust my balls for talking like a guy." Just saying.

You sound like a decent guy! Thanks for your post. You tried to be very nice. Some women love that.

OKCPirate

I noticed that your SURGEON was JOSE Rodriquez did you have your surgery in Juarez Mexico? My hubby had his WLS surgery thru him on June 3, 2016. Just curious.

Every time I read one of these things about what women want, the more I realize I don't have the necessary skills. I may just get a dog or cat.

Every time I read one of these things about what women want, the more I realize I don't have the necessary skills. I may just get a dog or cat.

Akin to the old joke "sure it's a crooked game, but it's the only game in town." Or as Sam Kininson said, "geez it's love women, or find the hind quarters of guys attractive...thanks for the big choice God."

I personally love the journey. I love trying to figure out women and my GF in particular. Not claiming to have figured everything out, and ultimately everyone is the same, in that we are all different and I think people are capable of change and growth. It's challenge, a Quest, a journey. Even the dumb experiences are ultimately worth it IMHO. (But SGC, remember, women have to put up with men, so it's a two way street.)

@@OKCPirate wrote:

I love trying to figure out women and my GF in particular.

Not claiming to have figured everything out,

and ultimately everyone is the same, in that we are all different

(But SGC, remember, women have to put up with men, so it's a two way street.)

Line #1: [a] give it up, and does she know? No scalpels allowed.

Line #2: that says it all

Line #3: as an aside, a woman and her two young daughters, different from each other except for their confidence, presented a product on Shark Tank. Part of their promotion is intended to describe the sisters and their target market, other young girls: "Equally different." Couldn't be better.

Line #4: Easy. Enough men are as complex as amoebae.

Edited October 17, 20169 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

Ahhhhh.

I don't care what any woman says... I'm all about chivalry being alive and well.

A man who actually gives a crap enough to keep me guessing, willing to surprise me, is attentive, focused on me, my happiness, relaxation and wants/needs? That man had me at "Hello..."

Reciprocity is king here, though. In a relationship, it's paramount to make certain each other feels wanted, loved, needed, and women are no stranger to this concept. It's simply about these two people finding one another.

#lifegoal

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

LisaMergs

HEAR HEAR!!! Totally agree with you!! But....our generation ( I'm 60 and he is 66) just don't have much of a ROMANTIC BONE in their body!! My sweet hubby come's thru once and awhile, like I don't dare say I like something cuz he will get it one way or another. Also, each and every one of his Brother's ( real and 1/2 bro's) have not any romance in them either!! HHHMMM Makes you wonder if it is in their GENES!!!

I'm not reading all the comments, but based on OP, yes, I would LOVE if hubby would take the lead and do the planning and just let me "be" on a date. It's exhausting doing this adulting thing, LOL, and a break would be lovely.

A side note, I went to France with a girlfriend of mine, and she said she was a control freak and wanted to plan it all, did I mind? Um, nope! It was HEAVENLY. I felt like a protected kid who just showed up and had a good time. Same idea. So long as you trust the person, it's so nice to be taken care of that way!

LisaMergs

HEAR HEAR!!! Totally agree with you!! But....our generation ( I'm 60 and he is 66) just don't have much of a ROMANTIC BONE in their body!! My sweet hubby come's thru once and awhile, like I don't dare say I like something cuz he will get it one way or another. Also, each and every one of his Brother's ( real and 1/2 bro's) have not any romance in them either!! HHHMMM Makes you wonder if it is in their GENES!!!

Its encoded in every male's DNA. It has to be taught. But once you see the benifit and how much the woman in your life appreciates it, well it makes it easier. Old dogs are capable of learning new tricks, just requires more positive reinforcement.

My 69 y/o husband is the most romantic love of my life. I wake every morning to the roaring sounds of Good Morning Beautiful, as I am looking like hell! After 25 years, he still opens the door for me, he has Stevia in my cup when I pour my coffee. I cold bore you with more, but I wish I was as smart when I was young as I was when I met him at age 47. Treasure each other.

OKCPirate ---- time to give up your man card and go hang out in the powder room.

@@Recycled embrace the way of the warrior poet. It is possible to be strong, virile, protective, wild and wide open but understanding, thoughtful and not a p*ick. Learn it, live it, love it. It will utterly change your life. Highly attractive to secure women.

I love my husband's gentleness and his AK47.