Yesterday I posted a "brag list" of misc. things about me and clearly I offended a few people so for that, I would like to apologize. If you actually read the list, you will see that there is very little that is spectacular on there and I am certain that everyone on this forum could come up with something similar if not FAR BETTER than I can.

The point of my list was that I want to be known as far more than a WLS patient or former fatty. It was not at all intended to be an entry into a pissing match. I am quite positive that some of my attributes listed like "drives like a do^che bag", "likes reality TV", and "runs screaming from spiders" won't get me far in life.

I was trying to inject a bit of humor, but clearly I missed the mark.

So as not to fan the flames in a thread gone horribly bad, I will post this right here.

My "brag" list. Please keep in mind that I have been blessed to be a work from home mom for 18 years giving me lots of extra time to torture my kids by being HYPER involved in their schools. I am adding notes in red for clarity.



This was a HUGE reason I kept my surgery to myself.

I am a mom to two great teenagers.
I have been happily married for 21 years. He deserves a medal, don't you think?
I have a fabulous goldendoodle. She sheds horribly, don't believe the people who say they don't.
I am a 2nd degree black belt and a certified martial arts instructor.
I volunteer at a womens' shelter. A friend needed their services, this is a little pay back.
I play the guitar. My mom insisted on music lessons and we couldn't afford a piano.
I own a successful business.
I work with autistic children and kids with Down's syndrome. They will let anyone volunteer.
I love Old School Rap and can perform Rapper's Delight in it's entirety. SOBER. Sorority trick. And it annoys my kids.
I love talking to strangers.
I am the VP of my HOA. No one else would do it.
I am PTA president, Choral Booster's VP and head theater mom at my kids' schools. Helicopter mom.
I love dogs, hate cats, save turtles and run screaming from spiders. I won't flush them either. They might come back up.
I was a beach lifeguard, a sorority girl and an only child. (Explains a lot, huh?) Poking fun at myself.
I Zumba, deep Water fin and ski double blacks. Deep water finning is an awesome class. Try it! My aunt lived in Vermont so we all skied free.
I drive like a ****** bag even though my vehicle is a minivan because I am always in a hurry. (At least I own it.) Poking fun at myself. I'm a horrible driver.
I hold the door for people and I can recite pi to the 56th digit. I had an autistic student who recited pi all day every day. Everyone in my class could do it.
I used to teach emotionally disturbed kids until the parents drove me nuts. And IEPs. They were the worst.
I was a theater major before I was a psychology major, before I got my degree in communications/psychology and my master's in education. Read that indecisive college kid who racked up a LOT of college debt. Still paying those bills.
I am a brown Mexican but don't speak Spanish. Poking fun.
I am a great cook but a horrible baker. Poking fun.
I love to read and I love reality TV. It's embarrassing to admit the reality TV thing, but I can poke fun at myself...
I drive with the radio off because I enjoy the silence. I talk too much.
I could go on forever but I am boring myself. POKING FUN at myself.

I have a lot more interesting things to talk about over WLS. Why on earth would I make that the definition of me? People can't help but ask about it, I have no desire to be the inspiration of that discussion. It was bad enough that people had to "confess" every extra calorie or missed workout to me while I was losing out of a bizarre "guilt".

I'd rather be any of the above over the former fatty/WLS lady.

Again, my above post was not intended to offend or fan any flames. All I can do is humbly apologize and of course, ask YOU to post your BRAG list. I'd love to hear about YOU.

OK, since it's true confession time

Dad of four great kids, 3/4's are out of the house and my youngest daughter is entering her senior year of high school. Once she is in college I am heading out of Oklahoma (I love the people, OKC, is actually a very cool place right now, but the damn pollen is killing me).

I was married for 21 years. 15 were happy. The last six sucked pond Water.

My ex was hospitalized because of mental illness. I found a therapist with the idea of learning how to help her. To my surprise, I realized I was the one who needed the help (kind of like what they tell you on an airplane,,,put your own mask on first before you put a mask on your kids).

Funny thing, when I realized what my problems were and I started to change, I realized just how toxic my relationship was with my ex. It took a few years, but we finally ended the madness.

I am election/political professional. That means I really get into numbers as well as people. That helped me look at dating in a very skewed way, but it worked. I understand how to find the people I wanted to meet and worked very seriously to communicate to them.

I really enjoy sex and intimate time with my significant other. I study this subject because I am serious about maximizing her pleasure. I have taken two classes on yoni massages. (look it up on your own and PM if you want me more info). MEN, it is damn fun to figure out how complex women really are, take time to study them. If you are a guy and you don't realize the sexual potential of a woman...shame. It will blow your mind, and I am convinced that if a guy will take the time to learn that potential, it will pay off more than you will ever realize...women's capacity for giving is greater than you know, but only if she trusts and cares. Nuff said there.

I have the coolist job in the world. I have a virtual staff of over 500 people all over the world. I have a great team to make it all work.

I get to teach future generations. I am very frank with my mistakes which helps the next generation do more than I ever could.

I was a poli sci major, but my concentration was on the eastern block and the commies. I started my military career as a private (I was an MP), became a SGT (very cool job in the Army), but after I was commissioned I ended as a Cpt. (I literally am Cpt. Kirk).

I am not bragging (and thankfully have never been called to do it), but I can take out anyone from 3/4's of a mile away with a .50cal sniper rifle, and I have enjoyed close in fights since taking Aikido and Karate for the last 15 years.

I am exceedingly proud of my kids...one who is a restaurant manager at Disney, my oldest son is about to become a teacher, my next son is becoming a physical therapist, and my youngest is now in the top 10 of her class and is going to OU to study Geology and wants to work in the State Department.

I love my GF beyond measure. We are a testimate that it is never too late to find a relationship that brings you happiness and at 53, we can still make a randy teenager green with envy when we are alone as a couple. (We both had 20+ year marriages, and tried to save them despite the dysfunction, but we also both grew from the experience and have used those lessons to help each other).

I am very thankful that I found WLS as an option and have tried to honor it by being part of the greater community, and be an evangelist, mentor and teacher,

This has become a very informative thread. OKCPirate, if I wasn't married right now I'd definitely want to meet you!! You sound like my kind of guy *wink wink*

I also wanted to add to my story. I'm not into reality TV (not a lot; some I watch here and there). I do love Supernatural (mmm Dean and Sammy Winchester...yum), Once Upon A Time, Dancing with the Stars, Chicago Med, Chicago Fire, and Chicago PD.

I love to read. I'm a HUGE Stephen King Constant Reader, own every single book he has written, and have read each at least twice. I love Horror, books on Real Life Stories, anything to do with The Mob/Mafia.

I love classic rock, smooth jazz, some classical. I listen to country against my will (both daughters and husband all like country. It's ok but I prefer rock).

Lol I loved your post. Especially the part about not flushing spiders. Very cool post.

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Y'all need to stop. I can't stand the greatness in this thread much more.

Lol I loved your post. Especially the part about not flushing spiders. Very cool post.

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Waiting for your humble "brag"!!!

My humble brag....here goes. I have two awesome daughters and a husband who make me laugh everyday and who have my back all day everyday. I have an awesome blue nose pit bull named nino. He is a gentle giant. I am full blooded Mexican but my Spanish is so so as well. I get your joke because my uncle use to laugh whenever I spoke Spanglish in the place of a word I forgot lol. Oh yeah and spiders, in my opinion, are plotting, calculating, arachnoids for sure. Lol

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@@LipstickLady

Your prayers have been answered...here comes the underachiever to make you look even better!!!

Another cat hater here. I don't do litter boxes. Or fur everywhere. Or thin, sharp claws. Or thin, sharp claws massaging my leg. Shall I go on? I can!

And I'm sorry guys, but I HATE reality TV. Like, as in change the channel when even just the commercials for them come on kind of hate. I'll not pick them apart - to each their own. But they are not my own. I'm more into the crime based drama/comedy scene.

I have no kids. It took years and years to settle on a side, but in the end the fact is that I just don't like them. And I don't want them. So much so that I ended a 10-year marriage over it (primarily anyway).

I've not been to college. I couldn't decide if I wanted to be a lawyer, pastry chef, architect, or fashion designer, but I knew I didn't want to spend - and potentially waste - the money until I figured it out. I never figured it out.

I have a terrible sense of humor, courtesy of a very literal and analytical brain. Barring the rare person who jokes in a way that I simply 'get', things tend to go right over my head. I'm the d0uche in the group who picks apart the joke's likelihood before realizing that everyone is staring at me and wondering if I'm for real.

I am stubborn as hell when it comes to how to do things properly and efficiently. I have zero respect for the "because that's the way its done" arguement. You have to tell me WHY that way is best. Failure to appeal to my logic will result in me continuing to do it in the way that makes sense to me.

I am the queen of typos. Seriously. If I didn't proof-read every sentence as I typed it, followed by every paragraph as I finished it, followed by the entire post twice before submitting it, followed by another edit or two after posting...yeah...my sh*t would be illegible. I am also constantly evaluating my grammar and choice of wording.

I am the absolute worst liar. I'm virtually incapable of doing it in person. If an untruth is necessary, I either need to tell it indirectly (text, or possibly over the phone if I'm not emotional and can keep my voice normal), or find a kernel of truth to milk for all its worth. But if I lie and you can see my face? Yeah...game over.

I am a dual Canadian/US citizen. I speak Canadian but spell American.

I am a great cook AND a great baker. Cooking was learned out of necessity in my pre-teens, courtesy of food Network. My brothers and I laugh endlessly about our mother's horrible culinary skills. On the savory side anyway. Baking, by contrast, was passed down, and is quite the family art. Particularly cake decorating, which I hate doing even though I'm told that I'm quite good at it (okay fine, I know I'm good).

I love to research things. Or should I say, I am an avid Googler. There is nothing I won't look up, and no time I won't look it up. I regularly awaken and reach for Google in the middle of the night to answer some random question that has popped into my head. It is by far one of the most used apps on my constantly-in-use phone, second only to the one that lets me talk to my boyfriend all day. I like to know sh*t, dammit!

I love to sing. REALLY loud. Just as long as no one is around to hear it.

Oh, and I think straws are good. Period.

Oh come on, we all knew that one was making an appearance somewhere...

I feel this may be my type of thread...

Therefore, with a long weekend ahead of me, there's a fair chance I'll be back to post...

Stand by b*tches!!!

@Renkoss OMGOSH ... Love love love my Chicago-ins !!!

@CHM I think you're my female soul mate

I spent yesterday working all day, looks like I missed the fun.

In a land (WLS land) where so many people really ******* hate themselves, it is rare to find people that actually like themselves. The people that do, stand out so much.

Really? I think WLS and getting my physical health in order was the very last step (after doing lots of other work on myself) for me to REALLY like myself and love my life. I am happier now than I have been at any other point in my life (besides maybe as a little kid). I would think this might be a common experience?

Some things about me:

-Born and raised in Alabama, no I have not ever dated my cousin and do not intend to do so. Roll Tide y’all!

-I was told the possibility of having kids were slim to none. 12 days before my 5^th wedding anniversary was the single absolute best day of my life. The day I became a mom, the little guy definitely has my heart.

-I got married too young, if I could have a redo….I would.

-I will Celebrate my 30^th birthday in January; the thought of it gives me high anxiety. I’m a firm believer in age is just a number, but for myself the thought of aging is terrifying.

-I’m the middle child-definitely suffer from the Marcia, Marcia, Marcia syndrome. I was the only girl in the house growing up with an older and younger brother. They made me tough.

-I’ve had the same best friend for 17 years-we’re sisters from different lovers. She gets me, she knows when something is wrong with me before I can ever say a word. I’m the same with her.

-I’ve been told that I am too nice, too sweet, too caring. In light of recent events, I am beginning to think that I am. I need to find my inner b!tch and embrace her. HA!

-I’ve had a job ever since I was old enough to have one. My first job was at my dad’s BBQ shack, it was in our backyard. We lived in the smack middle of a very small town, I felt like we fed the entire community. Sometimes the whole county, for some reason neither brother was made to work in there. Middle child syndrome is a real thing!

-I have worked for the same company for the past 7 years as a coordinator for several doctors in my area. I love my job for the most part, but lately I have wanted a change of scenery. In more ways than one.

-I love country music, classic rock, and R&B.

Okay, wow…I’m really a boring person! I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s post though. Happy Friday everyone!

Love it

I keep missing the kerfluffles. ::pout::

I think this kind of post is made of awesome. I'll try to post my own after I get home tonight, that is if I manage to get my school posts done quickly enough for the condescending jerk who is my prof.

Really? I think WLS and getting my physical health in order was the very last step (after doing lots of other work on myself) for me to REALLY like myself and love my life. I am happier now than I have been at any other point in my life (besides maybe as a little kid). I would think this might be a common experience?

I spent yesterday working all day, looks like I missed the fun.

In a land (WLS land) where so many people really ******* hate themselves, it is rare to find people that actually like themselves. The people that do, stand out so much.

I've always loved myself. I am fun, funny, loyal, sarcastic, blunt, intelligent and have a fabulous family.

The only thing that has changed is that I'm now at a weight that I can do all the things I used to do, but better. And easier. And with less sweat and frustration.

Oh. Yes. One big thing has changed. I look great in skinny jeans.

@@Lipstick lady.... I just joined and I find that you seem great. I enjoy your humor and logical thinking. I look to see your comments on threads. Now I sound borderline stalker. Err.

I love reading trashy books, real housewives, and bravo network in general.

Trying to find tasty Protein shakes has become my new hobby.

My husband is hot!

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