I'm going to apologize first off because I know I'm going to babble and ramble on. I'm getting vertical gastric sleeve surgery on June 6th. This last Monday I started my two week liquid pre op diet. It's only Wednesday night and I'm really questioning everything.

I now realize how much of an unhealthy relationship I have with food. I love to cook and go out to new restaurants and bars and I just feel like I'm going to lose who I am in a sense after this surgery. My husband and I love to do these things together and I feel like now we're going to have to change everything we have done together since we've known each other. I know it's going to better my life and that's all I've wanted for years and years but now that it's here I am scared. Shitless.

I'm mainly scared that I'm not mentally strong enough for all of these changes in my life. Any kind of like support would be helpful here please.

Good information from all of you! Thanks for sharing the good and bad.

You won't lose who you are as much as you will find who you are. The real you has been hiding inside a fat suit and wants out. Because you will have more energy, more confidence and better health, you will be able to express the real you in a more genuine way.

You will be able to dump all of those toxic people who were keeping you down. Even sex will be better because you will have more energy and be more flexible and maybe even feel friskier and sexy.

Look at your surgery as an outstanding opportunity to reinvent yourself.......kind of like going into witness protection. This whole process is definitely an adventure. Hang in there.

Please don't give up! My social life revolved around restaurants (bars too when I could get a sitter!) before surgery and yes things have changed dramatically since my VSG six months ago. But in many ways it hasn't. First, the pre-op diet was the hardest part. So know it will get easier. 2nd, you WILL need time to heal so you won't feel like making restaurants and frequent thing early on. But with that said there is something you can have at every stage if you want to still go, even just a glass of water during clear liquids. I go to a restaurant at least once a week sometimes more starting at 6 weeks. I never go off the Bariatric diet because there are options that will fit. My VSG has not ruined my social life at all. Last time I had an adult night out I danced! Haven't done that in years. So yes what I ordered has changed but I never had more fun. You can do this!

It seems like such a long dark tunnel you're in and you can't even see the light at the end of it. We've all been there! But light there is, I promise!

Post op, you will find that you are capable of more than you ever imagined: you're stronger, more devoted to your cause, a new YOU. EMBRACE IT!!! Your resolve and dedication will never be greater for what you've gone through to get to be the best you ever. Those are the things that will carry you! Going to restaurants is fun! I see a challenge looking for things to eat/share with those I am with. And I get giddy when I hit upon just the right thing. Success!!! Challenge met and conquered!

Finally- your restriction will be such that you won't want to eat more and you will be perfectly fine with that.

One thing that is hard? Finishing faster than the others you are with. My suggestion, other than eating slowly, is start a bit later eating than they do. Kind of evens the playing field!

Mine is June 6th and I just wrote some of these same things in my journal today! I knew I had an unhealthy relationship with food, but never thought it was this bad. Day 6 of the pre-op diet and I'm struggling soooo much! I will get through this! And you will too! Write your feelings down, it helps to get them out. I was so mad yesterday that I even cried. But I got through it, now almost through another day... We can do this!

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Edited May 29, 201610 yr by evelaine

@DeannW114,

These are great insights, and it’s good you’re thinking of these things at this point. Many of us (okay, ALL of us!) had unhealthy relationships with food before surgery; that’s why we got to the weight we did.

You may currently think of dates with your husband as revolving around food and drink, but they don’t have to. You can easily go to places other than a restaurant or bar when you spend time together. Even if you really just enjoy going to the restaurant or bar, it doesn’t have to be all about eating and drinking as much junk food as you can. The occasion can be about eating a few bites of wonderful food that you’ll savor, and focusing on quality time with someone you love. That’s what it’s really about, and you can still make food a part of it.

If your husband is supportive, this can work. Maybe during your pre-op diet you can take the time to think of all the roles food plays in your life besides providing nourishment, and plan out how you will use something else instead of food.

It definitely made me realize how much of my life revolved around FOOD!!! I miss food. I miss the social aspects of FOOD. I miss the taste of FOOD as nothing tastes the same for me anymore. I'm 7 months out. Tonight I ate the toppings off of two pieces of pizza. I was just in the kitchen trying to explain to my husband that the 'goop' that I just ate out of a bowl was nothing like the two pieces of pizza he just consumed. I don't think he'll ever understand what it's like for me now. Don't get me wrong...I love that I have lost 64 pounds in less than 7 months. I love that I wear a size 4 and I feel great at 52 years old. I love that I am going to be around for a long time since I have a 12 year old son to raise. I love being in front of the camera again, instead of always hiding behind the lens. But I definitely have my moments when I wish I could just eat like a normal person and have a few cocktails like a normal person. But then again, that's how I got up to 200lbs. There are definitely sacrifices to make when you have this surgery. I'm thinking about counseling at this point. Hoping it will get me past some of these thoughts and feelings. And the last thing...my husband and I have only had sex ONCE in the past 7 months. I can't explain it...he loves me and desires me but I just don't want any part of it. Yes, I've got to get some counseling...gonna make that call on Tuesday. Thanks for letting me vent in your thread. Best of luck to you!

I'm having the same thoughts as well. My food funerals were all at at favorite restaurants. FYI I just started a bypass FB group. My bypass surgery is June 3rd. I know many of you are sleevers though. Let me know if you'd like more information about joining. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this site and will continue to be an active member too!

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I'm going to apologize first off because I know I'm going to babble and ramble on. I'm getting vertical gastric sleeve surgery on June 6th. This last Monday I started my two week liquid pre op diet. It's only Wednesday night and I'm really questioning everything.

I now realize how much of an unhealthy relationship I have with food. I love to cook and go out to new restaurants and bars and I just feel like I'm going to lose who I am in a sense after this surgery. My husband and I love to do these things together and I feel like now we're going to have to change everything we have done together since we've known each other. I know it's going to better my life and that's all I've wanted for years and years but now that it's here I am scared. Shitless.

I'm mainly scared that I'm not mentally strong enough for all of these changes in my life. Any kind of like support would be helpful here please.

Hi! I'm having surgery the 6th too. Feel free to add me on FB. Nikki Perry (Rodriguez). Congrats to you and good luck on your journey.

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I'm June 6th for anyone that would like to add me on FB. I'm super excited yet nervous and can't wait to finally start my journey. I'm on FB under Nikki Perry ( Rodriguez).

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App