I don't understand why people get so "upset" whenever wls is mentioned/offered as a tool to aid in weight loss. "Oh, you don't need that. You just need to....." Or once you mention that you've had wls, you are no longer a credible support to people losing the "natural" way.

Overall, I find that people are generally misinformed about the different procedures and supposedly "everyone" they know who had the surgery has either gained all the weight back or died...Everyone is suddenly an expert on the ills of weight loss surgery. Don't they realize that there are other circumstances that could have led to their deaths? Why blame WLS?

If it's not what you would do, fine; but why not be supportive if a person decides it's right for them? I think it's interesting that when a person has cancer, no one shames them for getting chemo or radiation. This is exactly why I don't tell everyone. It's like you have the freaking plague.

So annoying! Rant over....

Lack of knowledge

I waited until 2 months post op to tell my mom about my surgery. Add that to my pre-op and it was 8 months of "secret keeping" because I knew how'd she react. Her words when I told her "shame on you". I wasn't surprised and only mildly hurt. She has struggled with her weight her whole life and her health issues were one of the big reasons I got my surgery. I know at some point, probably the next family holiday, that it will come up and I'll have to defend my choices to my family because they don't know. Thankfully I've been armed by my team with the knowledge to educate the nay sayers and if they still want to be Negative Nancy they can be. I'll be on the other side of the room perscription drug free, not diabetic, in shape and sassy in my size 8's enjoying the company of those who are happy for me.

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@@toastedink I catch the most flack from people with weight problems in weight loss support groups! It's THE MOST frustrating and baffling thing!

OK, @@her1981 ... I gotta hear about this.

Are these weight loss support groups online or in-real-life ,and are they limited to WLS patients or "everybody who's trying to lose weight"?

Well, at the end of the day all I can say is it's my body and I can do what I want. I chose to be healthy. No one else is paying my bills but me. And these would be the very same people chastising you if you had a health crisis because of your weight.

I think a lot of it comes down to jealousy as well. My sister once said "Losing weight is like winning the lottery. No one knows how to handle you after the fact." And she is right. So basically screw all of them. Your happiness makes them uncomfortable. And that's not your fault.

I could almost guarantee that if you asked one of your challengers to tell you everything they know about bariatric surgery, it would take them about ten seconds.

Not all overweight people live in the U. S. If you lived in Mexico you would probably get your surgery in Mexico. I have not seen anything about all Mexican bariatric patients in Mexico not making it home.

If you lived in Latvia, you could get your surgery in Latvia. If you lived in Spain you could get it done in Spain. The same goes for Israel, Belgium, Turkey, the U.K., Germany, etc. You might be surprised that Thailand is actually the number one place for Medical Tourism.

"Losing weight is like winning the lottery. No one knows how to handle you after the fact."

There's a lot of truth in that statement. Smart sister.

I'm very interested in this subject. I am having bypass surgery in June and have decided not to tell many people (just a VERY trusted few). A) I don't want the judgement of those who dont understand or agree with WLS - actually I don't care if they don't, as it isn't them having it done B ) I would find it easier to tell people its none of their business than explain it C) I have one friend in particular I know will not cope with me losing weight, let alone that I have paid for surgery. Has anyone else lost friends over this subject?

No one has given me any shit about my surgery, but I don't tell everybody I meet on the street about it. I wouldn't hesitate for one second the bitch slap anybody who tried to tell me what to do with my own body. At best, it is disrespectful, inappropriate, and absolutely too personal for anyone to comment on someone else's body. Let alone the choices they make for their bodies.

Fat people need to ditch the shame. We are just as accountable, for letting people in our lives, and letting our culture bully us into feeling ashamed of our beautiful bodies. Fat bodies are soft, fat bodies around, fat bodies are shapely and and have been worshiped in every culture over many thousands of years.

Our modern culture is sicker than morbid obesity makes us. We have every right to be who we are-fat or thin-and the road we have taken to get there, is ours alone.

No one has the right to diminish you unless you give them that right.

No one has the right to tell you you should be something different than you are. Only you can decide that.

You are the only authority when it comes to your body, your soul, and your life. Do not give away the power that is innately yours!

I think a lot of has to do with education and socioeconomic levels. The people I know that are upper middle class and have degrees beyond Bachelors are accepting of surgery and have no issues with it. This is also a group of people more accepting of cosmetic procedures (breasts, nose jobs are common).

The lower the education levels and the lower the income, the more flack. Many people see surgery as expensive and frivolous. We have to remember that even with the affordable care act in America, many people still cannot afford basic medical care. When they see other people receiving care they could never even dream of it creates issues. Heck, a lot of people think going to the dermatologist is frivolous.

Shows like the biggest loser don't help. They make it seem like all you need to do is work harder. Now I notice lots of people on IG being elevated for losing weight the natural way, which is awesome, but most won't last.

I am lucky my close circle of friends are all very supportive. I haven't told other people because they honestly don't matter. I am all for keeping surgery private, life is hard enough without other people judging you over something that doesn't involve them.

Edited May 11, 201610 yr by OutsideMatchInside

I think a lot of has to do with education and socioeconomic levels. The people I know that are upper middle class and have degrees beyond Bachelors are accepting of surgery and have no issues with it. This is also a group of people more accepting of cosmetic procedures (breasts, nose jobs are common).

The lower the education levels and the lower the income, the more flack. Many people see surgery as expensive and frivolous. We have to remember that even with the affordable care act in America, many people still cannot afford basic medical care. When they see other people receiving care they could never even dream of it creates issues. Heck, a lot of people think going to the dermatologist is frivolous.

Shows like the biggest loser don't help. They make it seem like all you need to do is work harder. Now I notice lots of people on IG being elevated for losing weight the natural way, which is awesome, but most won't last.

I am lucky my close circle of friends are all very supportive. I haven't told other people because they honestly don't matter. I am all for keeping surgery private, life is hard enough without other people judging you over something that doesn't involve them.

I never considered socioeconomic as a factor in excepting WLS but when looking at my own experience it certainly supports this premise. I told my 3 BFFs and husband all with bachelors and Masters. All supportive. Now my family is largely uneducated, poor and many are obese. And the thought of telling them makes me cringe so I haven't, not even my parents. I tried to tell my mom and she, oh you have more will power than that. End of conversation! She loves the new healthy me and she right, I do have will power to do what is best for me and my health.

I think a lot of has to do with education and socioeconomic levels. The people I know that are upper middle class and have degrees beyond Bachelors are accepting of surgery and have no issues with it. This is also a group of people more accepting of cosmetic procedures (breasts, nose jobs are common).

Counterpoint observation here ...

I have good friends, family members, and acquaintances at all walks of life.

And, interestingly, I've observed that my very well educated colleagues, friends and acquaintances are not all that supportive of WLS.

Yes, they tend to be fitter, healthier and slimmer -- but very few of them have ever suffered from obesity themselves. Consequently, they are ignorant about the disease of obesity and confused by and/or scornful of those who are obese.

In fact, the things that some of my best friends have said *to my face* about others who are obese (as if I weren't obese at the time) have just flabbergasted the s**t out of me! Here's one zinger: "The woman he married is 100 pounds overweight, so it you know HAS to be her money!" And this was said in a circle of my best friends when I was -- ahem! -- exactly 100 pounds overweight. WTF?!

Nonetheless, they have all been enthusiastically supportive of my weight loss and weight maintenance efforts over the last few years. They have no idea I had WLS, and I think they would shocked to learn that I had.

As to my poorer, less well educated friends, family members, and acquaintances -- their attitudes toward WLS seem all over the board. Yes, more of those folks are heavy, given that poverty and lack of education are correlated with obesity, and that the cause-effect interactions among those conditions are very complex. But as a group, this cohort of folks I know seem less biased against weight loss surgery than my well educated, rich, slim friends. For one thing, they would love to have a way to fight their own obesity. But, frankly, I think they're just not as judgmental or critical of people as the upper-class crowd is.

i've seen people say "that person had the surgery i don't give them credit"

like dude you don't have the credit to give anyway..foh...and then at the same time they still have contempt for overweight people

people are weird man

Edited May 11, 201610 yr by illailla

I think a lot of has to do with education and socioeconomic levels. The people I know that are upper middle class and have degrees beyond Bachelors are accepting of surgery and have no issues with it. This is also a group of people more accepting of cosmetic procedures (breasts, nose jobs are common).

Counterpoint observation here ...

I have good friends, family members, and acquaintances at all walks of life.

And, interestingly, I've observed that my very well educated colleagues, friends and acquaintances are not all that supportive of WLS.

Yes, they tend to be fitter, healthier and slimmer -- but very few of them have ever suffered from obesity themselves. Consequently, they are ignorant about the disease of obesity and confused by and/or scornful of those who are obese.

In fact, the things that some of my best friends have said *to my face* about others who are obese (as if I weren't obese at the time) have just flabbergasted the s**t out of me! Here's one zinger: "The woman he married is 100 pounds overweight, so it you know HAS to be her money!" And this was said in a circle of my best friends when I was -- ahem! -- exactly 100 pounds overweight. WTF?!

Nonetheless, they have all been enthusiastically supportive of my weight loss and weight maintenance efforts over the last few years. They have no idea I had WLS, and I think they would shocked to learn that I had.

As to my poorer, less well educated friends, family members, and acquaintances -- their attitudes toward WLS seem all over the board. Yes, more of those folks are heavy, given that poverty and lack of education are correlated with obesity, and that the cause-effect interactions among those conditions are very complex. But as a group, this cohort of folks I know seem less biased against weight loss surgery than my well educated, rich, slim friends. For one thing, they would love to have a way to fight their own obesity. But, frankly, I think they're just not as judgmental or critical of people as the upper-class crowd is. [/quote

Lesson here we shouldn't stereotype people. Regardless of the reason particular person is ignorant or judgemental of WLS we can agree it is frustrating and annoying!

People are judgmental, weight loss surgery is just another thing to add to the list... If you give it some thought the same people probably have had something to say if you changed you hair color, got a new item etc.... It's just might sting a little more because first we are getting judged for being obese than we're getting judged for trying to getting a tool that can help us overcome being obese... It's a no win situation.... At the end of the day, as long as we are healthier who cares how we got here...

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What kills me is the diet industry is forever bombarding us with ads for pills and devices that promise to shed the pounds with no dieting or exercise. They don't work, but for some reason that "easy way" is more acceptable than the presumed "easy way" of wls. ( which, of course, isn't easy at all).

I think it goes back to the belief that obesity is a moral failing rather than a medical problem. Even addiction is more commonly understood as a medical issue.

For some, the idea that people could overcome their moral weakness through surgery rather than willpower seems shameful. But, there is just too much wrong with that thinking to even begin to challenge it.

People who are obese have negative reactions when their friends have wls because understanding it means accepting that being fat isn't a result of their own weakness or defect. Letting go of that self hatred long enough to consider medical help can be really, really hard.