What if I can't do it?

[DirtyyMelodies 47]

Hi guys.

Not feeling so great tonight. I've been stoked for the past week, as I got my surgery date, and it's coming up fast. I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have such an opportunity and to be able to have a fresh start at such a young age (I'm 25), which is also why I don't understand why I can't seem to stick with a simple pre-op diet.

I'm incredibly frustrated by my behavior. My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me 2-3 days ago, and I've been fighting binge urges pretty much non-stop since then. Sometimes I manage to overcome them, but carbs have always been my weakness when it comes to bingeing, and since yesterday, I've been eating crap. I still have about 7-9 pounds to lose before my surgery.

I'm terrified that I won't be able to change my behavior in the future and that I'll gain every pound back and more, thus wasting the 10K$ loan I took for this. I just want to cry right now. So frustrating.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

Nah...

You'll be right...

We ALL have shitty days...

We ALL f**k our s**t up at times...

Just get up, shake yourself off and move on...

Look for bright sides...

In fact, here's your first - you've already lost however many pounds the boyfriend weighed, so that's a great start!!!

This is YOU time...

YOU!!!

Screw what anyone else wants of you...

You gotta do what YOU gotta do...

Find support here if you need it..

But don't get down on yourself for your cravings...

Congratulate yourself EVERY TIME you don't cave..

You got this...

You're all over it like a fat kid on a cupcake...

Kick its arse!!!

Plus -

How could you go wrong with a cracker of a nickname like that??!?!

Good luck to you...

[DirtyyMelodies 47]

Nah...

You'll be right...

We ALL have shitty days...

We ALL f**k our s**t up at times...

Just get up, shake yourself off and move on...

Look for bright sides...

In fact, here's your first - you've already lost however many pounds the boyfriend weighed, so that's a great start!!!

This is YOU time...

YOU!!!

Screw what anyone else wants of you...

You gotta do what YOU gotta do...

Find support here if you need it..

But don't get down on yourself for your cravings...

Congratulate yourself EVERY TIME you don't cave..

You got this...

You're all over it like a fat kid on a cupcake...

Kick its arse!!!

Plus -

How could you go wrong with a cracker of a nickname like that??!?!

Good luck to you...

You're adorable. Reading your post made me smile. Thank you. <3

[superbeast 18]

I'm doing my pre op right now. It's hard. You can do it! Push through and show your body who is boss! Your so young and have an incredible future ahead of you! I wish I could have had the chance to be skinny/healthy at 25!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

You're adorable. Reading your post made me smile. Thank you. <3

Look at that. Bozo broke up with you and you've already met someone new.

A five-year relationship is significant, but don't mourn it by gorging on crap. Voodoo dolls are so much more effective. KInda Familiar is correct -- this is your time. You have the power to take good care of yourself, right down to eating for surgery and thereafter. A breakup is especially the time to take good care.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@DirtyyMelodies, I just realized that you may think I'm making light of your breakup. Not at all. It is a major event and you are hurting deeply. Just for those reasons it's crucial that you act in your best interests in all ways. Losing a boyfriend is bad enough without losing yourself and everything you do that makes you yourself.

If you're a student, your studies are a path to whatever is next for you. Let your work suffer and your sense of who you are will diminish with it. If you're working, the most important thing is not to jeopardize your income. It's bad enough to be hurting, but worse to be hurting while sleeping on a park bench.

You'd begun the surgery process before he broke up with you the other day. The plan for surgery is another part of who you are.

ONe of the worse mistakes you can make is to give up your self. You'll be needing her forever and she shouldn't be someone who could even conceive of bailing out on you. This may be the last thing you want to hear now, but that's how it is.

Edited March 20, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[DirtyyMelodies 47]

Thank you for the kind words, guys! @@WLSResources/ClothingExch, I wasn't offended by your previous post, don't worry! I totally get what you're saying. And you know what? You're right. I wasn't happy in that relationship either, in the end. Ruining my pre-op efforts because of it is just silly.

I need to focus on the upside of this upcoming journey. I've always been the kind of person to be quite pessimistic when it came to certain things; I thought that it was better to be agreably surprised rather than disappointed. Bad mindset to have, isn't it? I need to start grabbing the bull by the horns and take over control.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

That's some serious self-awareness right there, young woman.

You're going to surprise yourself -- in a good way. And, best of all, you're going to learn so much more about yourself and "life" in the coming few years.

WLS is visibly about losing excess weight, building and leading a healthy lifestyle, and maintaining a healthy weight. But that's just the part others can see. It's about so much more personal growth. You have already opened the door to rooms that lead to rooms that lead to ....

I'm so excited for you!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am going to answer your question with a question:

But what if you CAN?

....

You CAN do it. I don't think many of us went into this process thinking that we could. At least I know I didn't, at least not all the time.

The great thing about this whole process is that we get a chance to learn and practice new, HEALTHY ways of dealing with life, stress, disappointment. By giving ourselves permission to be imperfect and to fail, we can learn to succeed.

I just finished a really good book by Brene Briwn called "The Gifts of Imperfection". You might find it helpful.

And, as for the boyfriend: you may not know it now, but he just gave you a really big gift -- the time to focus on YOU.

You CAN do this!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

... And you know what? You're right. I wasn't happy in that relationship either, in the end...

I need to start grabbing the bull by the horns and take over control.

1. ' course I am.

2. In that case, screw.

3. Glad that your glands are still in good working order.

You're fine. Git in there.

[DirtyyMelodies 47]

Thanks you guys! Tomorrow, my surgery date will officially be two weeks away. I'm going to start the whole pre-op diet thing from scratch today. I can do this. I might be back to square one on a weight loss standpoint, but I'm sure if I walk everyday and follow the diet plan, I can lose 12lbs in two weeks.

Let's do this!

[RoscoColetrain 103]

Pre-op was actually significantly harder for me than post-op.

Pre-op... oh that's just a sandwich. or two. bah that's nothing.

Post op.... Oh that's a Whole thing of yogurt? sigh. Maybe in an hour or two.

Keep at it

[daniotra 298]

You recognize you have a problem. You reached out for help instead of making excuses. You'll be fine. I do recommend reaching out to a counselor to help learn other ways of coping so the urge to binge is lessened.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Tssiemer1 549]

I kinda wish I wasn't married and 30 having this surgery.

I just know it's going to cause problems with my husband.

"You never cook anymore."

"We never go out."

Etc.

[bluejeansmama 1]

Sounds like you just dropped 200# without any effort!

Seriously though, you CAN do this!

Think of how far you've already come, and look ahead to the day where you'll be able to look back and congratulate yourself for making it through even though it seemed impossible!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using the BariatricPal App