Just had an interesting interaction at work. An admin stopped into my office asking for a pen to borrow to sign off on a lunch order for a meeting. I like to kid around so I said, 'sure...but it will cost you a cookie.'

As a fat woman, I would have never said that. It would have been embarrassing because I would have expected her to think that the last thing I needed was a cookie. But as a normal sized person, there is no embarrassment when it comes to 'bad' food. I don't think twice if I have ice cream in my shopping cart...or some other item that once upon a time would make me look around and wonder who was checking out what I was eating.

And by the way....she brought me two Cookies. I told her that I was only joking and all she did was wink at me.

I know people say all the time that they have not changed...only their bodies have changed. I know that everything has changed for me. Yes...I'm still basically the same woman I always was, but a better, more outgoing, comfortable in my skin woman now. Not that I don't have my issues still...nothing is perfect. But even little interactions are different..and big ones as well.

I look people in the eye now. I used to look down. I have a sense of confidence I didn't have before. I'm understanding that it was the confidence and satisfaction in my life that attracted my boyfriend to me...and not just that I was a small body. Especially as he's seen all the loose skin, hanging boobs, etc. and he tells me how much he loves to see my naked body..how it turns him on. He's seeing something else in his mind's eye...and not my physical 'flaws'.

I just think we don't always see or realize all the changes. We notice the big things...the typical NSVs but not necessarily the daily interactions that shift as we change...or should I say 'evolve'.

Anyway...just wanted to get my thoughts out on a post. Back to work now...

I ask for a receipt for petty cash.

Then go home and eat them all myself.

I'm sorry -- but that made me laugh out loud.

Thank you.

Yup. As a fat woman, I really fooled the public when I got an extra small cup of fro-yo or a baby cone of ice cream. I am sure NO ONE noticed how fat I was because of my obvious restraint and dainty portions. HA!!

Now if I were to get a teeny portion, people would URGE me to eat more because I "need to" or "can afford" it.

Oh, how things have changed.

Totally guilty of this. I've been told more than once by friends that I am the most dainty eater they've ever seen. In reality, I never noticed, but once I thought about it, I knew I did this because I thought the sight of me eating must sicken those around me. Like I was so fat and gross that I tried to eat as dainty as I could so I didn't gross them out. It's sad, really, but that's how I felt. I'm hoping that I can change my mindset around that now that I'm post-op and losing.

It's really weird how gratifying the feelings are now surrounding events that were so embarrassing.

One of my few treats now are these little almond ice cream bars from "So Delicious". They are very expensive, so recently when they were on sale, (buy one and get one free)......

I made a special trip to the store and got eight boxes and nothing else. I would have never done that before. Just too embarrassing. I usually had my wife get any stuff like that or if I was with her grocery shopping......I would leave her to the cashier and skip out to the car to avoid the eye-rolling and hushed comments of who all the junk food was for.

Now, buying them was almost like a badge of honor.......Kinda like showing everyone....."Yep, go ahead and look.... that's right....eight boxes and yet I am actually skinny...."

Plus, I also had some oranges and apples. LOL,,,, what a turn-a-round.....I came for the junk food and couldn't resist adding in the healthy stuff.

I get it, and its so strange the complete turnaround involving food ! Before WLS I'd eat the whole plate of food and then some.(And think about dessert, but not ever order any......) This past Sunday at a good Golf Club restaurant ? 3 bites of delicious fish , 3 fries, 3 bites salad. Done. Packing up the meal, my hubby commented to the slightly wondering waitress, "she only eats a little bit at a time , so we'll take the rest home for later. " Totally . different. I'll take it !!

I'm understanding that it was the confidence and satisfaction in my life that attracted my boyfriend to me...and not just that I was a small body. Especially as he's seen all the loose skin, hanging boobs, etc. and he tells me how much he loves to see my naked body..how it turns him on. He's seeing something else in his mind's eye...and not my physical 'flaws'.

I just think we don't always see or realize all the changes. We notice the big things...the typical NSVs but not necessarily the daily interactions that shift as we change...or should I say 'evolve'.

Anyway...just wanted to get my thoughts out on a post. Back to work now...

Ummm, I know I'm kind of a softy, but this just made me really mist up. It hit me...a year ago the woman whom I have fallen for, would not have given me the time of day romantically. To be fair, a year ago she would have not attracted me either. She is so physically dynamic that we would not have connected. But three months ago we met, and the attraction keeps growing. Yes she's seen me naked, she sees the lose skin, but she feels the muscle underneath it, she runs and bikes with me so she knows I can keep up with her. But what has been important was we moved beyond the physical to the intellectual and emotional intimacy and this is where we have really connected. But it would not have happened apart from the physical transformation. It is important. It's a game changer. It is a huge NSV.

Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

I ask for a receipt for petty cash.

Then go home and eat them all myself.

This reminds me of the so called good old days of eating three apple fritters and feeling sad because there were no fritters left.

Now if I choose to eat a fourth of a fritter it takes me twice as long to eat the fourth as it took to eat 3 fritters.

Taking the time to enjoy food is a real blessing

@@jfc193 I could totally do 3 and probably a 4th, apple fritter! Talk about yummy! Happy Holidays to you!

Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

I ask for a receipt for petty cash.

Then go home and eat them all myself.

This reminds me of the so called good old days of eating three apple fritters and feeling sad because there were no fritters left.

Now if I choose to eat a fourth of a fritter it takes me twice as long to eat the fourth as it took to eat 3 fritters.

Taking the time to enjoy food is a real blessing

Would take me forever to eat a fourth of one also, plus the risk of getting stuck is great so I don't eat things like that anymoe.....

Old days anything left laying around was not safe if I were there....

Love my band, and the behaviour modification that came along with it.

Oh! Thank you. Wonderful post.