I don't know what's up with me. I was soooo excited and soooo into this pre op process and ready to go with such enthusiasm!!!!

Now I'm dreading doctor visits and I'm so hungry!!

Today was a bad day on my diet. I went to Starbucks had a mocha and an egg and sausage sandwich for Breakfast. A cup of chili for lunch and nothing for dinner because of all the food I ate.

Now I just feel hopeless. Maybe it's because I've been sick and on the period from hell or hormones or something I don't know.

I'm just blaaah about it all.

Also I turn 30 on Sunday and I told everyone not to get me anything and I didn't really want to do anything special or make a big deal about it. Now I regret that. Because now we aren't doing anything.

Not like my friends would show up anyway. Lately people have been MIA.

Maybe it's because I'm having the surgery. And that's all I talked about.

Maybe it's because I wouldn't eat out with them this month.

I feel so alone.

Now I'm crying because I'm so hungry and it's midnight so I can't make anything and I don't want a protein bar.

It sounds like you have plenty of reasons to be emotional--surgery coming up, a milestone birthday, hormonal stuff this time of the month, and having to diet on top of that! Don't be too hard on yourself. Just keep breathing and get a good night's sleep. Everything will be ok. And Happy Birthday!

So where are you on your journey? Are you doing a pre-op diet, then? How long until your surgery? One of the best ways to get trough this phase is to plan. Plan for what your long-term goals are, short term... Plan for activities you want to do once the surgery is done.

Start figuring out what styles of clothes you'll be wanting to try, go through your closet and figure out what shoes will go with what. Sort through the clothes you have and decide which will work for your "after-surgery" shrinking phase. Loose and flowy work well while dropping sizes. Go to your local goodwill and other second-hand shops for interim clothing. You can case these places out now, so you know who has what, and get an idea of prices.

There are so many things to plan for, so get busy and KEEP busy, it will get you through the rougher times. Start a new hobby that will keep your hands AND mind busy, keeps your mind off food. Munch on LOTS of sugar-free popsicles. LOTS. The thing is to plan for the future...ALWAYS look forward. You are not alone on this journey. Participate in the forums on this site, someone is bound to answer or want to chat. ALWAYS look forward!!!!!!! Good luck to you, sweetie, and keep your chin up!!!!!

Breathe.

You are making a life changing/improving decision to get surgery, and everything will be amazing in the end. I am 32 days away from my surgery date and I understand you completely with the whole 'cheating' on your diet plan. It's stressful, and sometimes annoying. Your friends will come around once they get used to the idea of you 'changing'; and think of this as a new you birthday! Your last birthday to eat a good piece of cake (one piece... =P) And hormones are the devil, they ruin everything, throw your emotions into a cyclone and they make you think ridiculous thoughts! I am sure when you come to be a month away from surgery everything will kick back into gear and you will be super happy, excited, and overjoyed (still a little nervous).

I hope you have a great new you birthday!

My surgery is supposedly Nov. 23rd that's what we're shooting for. The doctor just told me try eating 4 ounces of high Protein food, or Protein shakes and bars every 3 hours. I'm replacing two meals with protein shakes currently. I've lost about 6 or 7 lbs since last month.

Thanks guys. I think I was having a panic attack or something. I feel a little better after some sleep.

That feeling of "screw it. This is stupid. I'm not doing it" scared me a lot.

I'm going to get back on track today and not worry about everybody else. I may take myself to a movie and shopping at goodwill for my birthday lol.

The friends thing is rough. I feel my friends like me less now that I am healthier. They try to indulge me with bad food and they always turn me down for the gym. They talk about trying to loose weight, but how it's so hard. Makes me want to shake them! It's rough seeing them fall into my old habits, yet I feel it isn't my place to say anything.

It's so perfectly normal for your emotions to be so close to the surface during this pre op period. When you think about it you are actually existing in a state of limbo, caught between one life and another. The one you're living and the one you desire. That's no small thing. You're about to have this wonderful life changing surgery, and yet, you must wait. You KNOW your life is never going to be the same, and still... you must wait. If that's not a stress inducer I don't know what is.

In the meantime you're made to follow a diet, exercise, and start making hardcore lifestyle changes. All things you had to prove, in some cases, even document, that you repeatedly failed miserably at before, just to qualify for the surgery in the first place.

As for the people around you being MIA, or you having that perception, I'm not really surprised. If you're anything like me, I remember distinctly that the surgery was my obsession. I thought about it 24/7. I dreamed about it. I worried. I hoped. I fantasized. And I have no doubt too that I drove those around me, whose lives didn't revolve around wls, absolutely crazy. I was that person you dread seeing walking down the hallway towards you, because you know as soon as we're within earshot I'm going to corner you, and bore you to death for eons on how great my kids are, and here are their pictures to prove it. (Yes, I even had diagrams of the different surgeries on hand, and would whip them out at a moment's notice).

Just before my surgery I actually went to the few friends and family I had told, and apologized for the last year when I could talk of nothing else. ????

So I hope you'll be a little easier on yourself. You have every right to feel this way. And I can promise you, it will get better. Everything you are going through will be so worth it in the end!

These were in my office this morning. Wooooo!!

It's perfectly normal to have pre-sugery nerves. What you ate wasn't that horrible. Okay the mocha was a calorie bomb, but the egg & sausage sandwich is something you could eat post op if you didn't eat the bread and the chili is actually a Protein rich choice. Skipping meals is not a good idea, but overall that day wasn't horrible. Either way it's done. Move on.

Things you can do:

Start planning for when your nerves hit. You've got about 6 weeks until surgery. Think about what things you can do and what foods you can incorporate into your life now that will make post op life easier. A few suggestions:

• Get a Water bottle or 2 and start carrying water with you everywhere and sipping.
• Practice eating sloooooowwwwllly. I mean snails pace slow as in taking teeny bites and chewing until food dissolves.
• Find a stress reliever. Learn sudoku, how to knew, carry a stress ball. If you are a stress eater you will need a new habit for post op life.

Breathe: you will be fine.

Happy Birthday!