Hi everyone! This is a support thread for bandsters who are approaching or maintaining their goal weight, whatever that may be. This thread will likely include monthly challenges for exercise and/or diet goals, which members can choose to join or not join at their leisure.

I read a book once called Passing For Thin, which was written by a woman who lost 150+ pounds through OA, yet never felt thin on the inside. That is one of the things thread is intended to discuss, as well as the other unique challenges and successes of a bandster who is now Passing For Thin. These issues could be related to food in the maintenance phase, upcoming exercise goals, self-esteem issues, relating to the opposite sex -- anything you confront in your new body.

Maybe in the course of discussing our issues, we will become thin on the inside as well as the outside.

Let the discussion begin!

....I have never known what it's like to experience friendships, love, etc. as a 'slim' person. My whole life used to revolve around my weight... now, it's like - who am I? what am I supposed to be?....

Yep. Exactly. And for me, at 35, it's completely unacceptable that I act like a 17 year old in the way I relate to friends and, mostly, men, out of sheer inexperience. I really hate that and I wish I could grow up about it.

Then again, everything in my life is different right now. It's all an adjustment. Even the things I think are fun by myself are different. A year ago, I watched every show on TV there was. Now I can't remember the last time I turned the TV on. So weird.

Hi all, I dropped in here a few weeks ago and love to lurk...I can relate to so many of your struggles and feelings!

Someone mentioned a book a few pages back about dealing with body image issues....can someone tell me what it is called?

I envy you Oregonians....I was up on the coast in May (Reedsport/Winchester Bay area) and felt like I could run forever. The weather was so great! Tonight I ran 5k in 90degree weather...that is at 8PM because it's too darn hot to run any earlier in the day in Texas.

I hate to wish for life to go faster but I can't wait until it cools off in October!

Thanks Y'all!

Hi everybody! I hadn't checked in here in a while because I've been busy getting banded! Yeah! I'm off to a good start but at least a year from goal so I really don't belong on this thread. Its just that I like to hang out around positive role models and you guys are the best! Congrats Julie, you are almost there. Wow, Wow, Wow! I'll keep reading what you all have to say because you inspire me so much. You all keep up the good work and I'll be watching and cheering. For now I'll just slip back over to the August '07 thread where I really belong.

This is exactly what I need I have alot of co-workers who have had the surgery nad many haven't reached their goals. I need help i find that some days I feel okay about the weight loss but most days I am just passing. I can't fully see myself in a amirror i can only see portions of my body at a time if taht makes any sense. I want to see me the new me and I can't it has been 2 1/2 yrs since my banding and I started out at 268 today I'm 153. I was at 147 but I am yo-yoing. I think I need support from people who undertsanf fully what I'm going through. I get alot of compliments and some who arent nice about how much weight I've lost but its a myth to me. It isnt real.I can physically do thing that I nvere dreamed of doing now and I know my clothes are smaller but i need something tangible to hold onto ( a visual image ). I also have an issue with feeling real broad still and bloated all the time, like a stuffed Turkey.I wear a size 6 but feel like a 13 or larger. Help anyone any ideas??

DCPrincess...

Lots of us know exactly how you feel. Here is a thread on this very topic:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f109/omg-how-crazy-am-i-39650/

I wish I could stand by and watch myself one day.

I enjoy walking, exercising and the hot air here in Houston life now is great. My main two problems are not being able to see myself and staying motivated on my diet.

Im so close to my goal now I think I have become complacent and have started eating junk food when I know I shouldn't. I feel healthy and so much happier yet I do fear the weight will come back so I try to stay on top of it but it does get hard. I am glad I found this thread I just need to talk to someone who knows how and why I feel the way I do. (I sure don't undertsand it myself)

Dcprincess...often times I feel undeserving and it seems unreal that I have lost weight. I had an epiphany last week when I realized that "yes, I had lapband surgery but no one put an exercise band in me!" Really, the band has helped get me started but the continual success in exercise and fact that I continue to run in 90+ degree weather here in Texas is MY accomplishment and not because of that band of silicone. I like to mull over that from time to time. BTW I ran in Houston last weekend early in the morning and even at 0700 it was HOT. Way to go with your exercise down there!

I had a strange experience several months ago. I was out with some friends in a club and was feeling pretty tipsy (not something I usually do anymore!) Well, I went into the bathroom and when I looked at the mirror I felt real strange. I hardly recognized myself. Surely it was the alcohol speaking but at any rate it was a freaky experience.

I wonder if we have all failed to have good body images even before our weight gain years ago and consequently it was what got us to where we are today. I had a very good friend (also a shrink) tell me that I was ignoring my obesity because it protected me from being hurt by others. When I finally came to the conclusion that I could no longer continue to be overweight just the admission that I was truly morbidly obese was an extremely painful experience. I cried for days after I scheduled my surgery. I guess I was fearing losing another (in)effective coping mechanism.

Dcprincess, have you ever thought of posting side-by-side pictures of yourself somewhere you can look at them on a regular basis? I just might try that myself....although I find looking at the former pictures very depressing. I just think of the years I put up with lugging all the weight around!

Anyone else have any ideas?

May I ask how long it took you to get to goal and then your maintaining weight?

May I ask how long it took you to get to goal and then your maintaining weight?

I'm still trying for goal. I lost the bulk of my weight in a year and have been dribbling down a pound or two since then.

I, too am struggling with what I see in the mirror, or what people say to me. I'm a size 4-6 now... I keep yo-yo-ing too (see my post on my crazy swollen feet!!)...but what's so insane to me is, all of a sudden, being a 6 or, dear God an 8 (gasp!) seems like failure. Why are we so attached to those numbers??? Two years ago I would have laughed if someone told me I could be a size 8. Why can't we be happy with ourselves, with our success? I think sometimes that I've tried to lose weight for so long that if I do accept that I am at goal, then what? What do I do if I don't obsess about my weight? I swear, every time I try on clothes, I think "oh, these must run big... really big... I can't possibly really be this size."

Just a few comments on other post comments, which I think hit home, in a make-me-laugh-at-myself kind of way.

1. I wear a size 6 but feel like a 13... not sure why this happens, but I concur. I don't feel that different until I'm walking down the aisle of an airplane, not worrying about hitting anyone.

2. I used to watch every show on tv... for me, it's "I used to watch Food Network" constantly, but now it's "What not to wear" and "Plastic Surgery: before and after"

3. The way that people treat you. My success at work has skyrocketed. I can't help wonder if my increased appearance has helped?? I'd like to think not, but you can't help but wonder. I had a real NSV when a co-worker said, "you have got to take me shopping, you always look so cute"... they have no idea that in your "old" life you'd never have even considered it because you had to shop at the plus-size store, and they didn't.

4. Ever notice how, when you're overweight, people look at you with disdain in a restaurant, and you're so worried that they're going to judge what you've ordered? Now, people push food at me... there have been so many times when the waiter/waitress was all "are you sure you liked it? can I get you something different?" Or, "is that all you're going to eat, here, let me get you something else?"

5. One last observation... ever have someone who doesn't know the "old" you make a comment about someone else's weight because they view you as "non-overweight"? It's like a surreal victory, and sad at the same time.

Kudos to all who have succeeded, and those who continue to succeed. So many people have no idea what it takes to get here, but IMO, it's so worth it.

Hey Julie, when will you post a new picture?

I'm having a little bit of a problem saying "no" to myself with new clothes. I have this rule that if it's a single digit size and I want it, I can have it. I'm going to have to move to a new rule, or I'm going to be in the poor house. Even though I'm not to my final size (even if I don't lose more weight, my thigh lift in November will have me changing sizes), I keep spending and spending and spending.

It's not TOO big of a problem, meaning, I'm not going into debt or anything. It's just a little irresponsible given that these aren't clothes I'll wear for all that long....It's just so nice to look nice and feel as good as possible about yourself, you know? It helps with the "passing for thin."

Julie...

Not sure I can agree with you. Irresponsibility is being fat, knowing it, knowing the answer, and doing nothing about it if you can. Buying new clothes and feeling good doesn't sound all that bad to me.

I say GO SHOPPING! If you aren't going into debt, you can still pay your bills and sock away a few dollars, go for it.

I just wanted to pop in and say hello!

I am still stuck at 164. I know I have to start a better exercise program. The walking around the block is not cutting it for me. My 1st goal is to lose 9 more pounds to 155. Then the 2nd goal is 145, maybe the final goal.

Any suggestions on how to get my weight loss going again?

I did have a fill and get stuck on most everything and mildly slime after my meal. I feel like I choke them down, so I am not sure if I need another fill yet.

Thanks for your help!!

I really relate to what one of the above posters talks about in terms of body image issues. I am not yet down to my goal weight, I am about 10kg off but I'm told I should be really happy with how I look and that I look wonderful - but I still obsess over my weight.. I used to be 155kg's and I feel like if I stopped obsessing I'll slip and end up back where I started. I know this isn't really likely, but that's my fear everytime I eat a 'bad' food (despite trying to remind myself that there's no bad foods, just moderation)

There are days when I still feel as dissatisfied with how I look as I did 2 years ago at my biggest and I know it's irrational but it's just the way you feel some days.

I don't know really how to kind of accept that I look this way now, and I'm attractive and fine and shouldn't worry any more...