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Passing For Thin - Support Thread for Those Approaching Goal

Hi everyone! This is a support thread for bandsters who are approaching or maintaining their goal weight, whatever that may be. This thread will likely include monthly challenges for exercise and/or diet goals, which members can choose to join or not join at their leisure.

I read a book once called Passing For Thin, which was written by a woman who lost 150+ pounds through OA, yet never felt thin on the inside. That is one of the things thread is intended to discuss, as well as the other unique challenges and successes of a bandster who is now Passing For Thin. These issues could be related to food in the maintenance phase, upcoming exercise goals, self-esteem issues, relating to the opposite sex -- anything you confront in your new body.

Maybe in the course of discussing our issues, we will become thin on the inside as well as the outside.

Let the discussion begin!

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Julie - I'm shedding some wonderful tears for you today! How emotional a day this must be for you. The wind is still blowing from this direction..............go Julie - you are an amazing girl! Love, Banditmommy Betty

An exercise challenge thread has been started in the Monthly Support Forum under April "06 Bandsters. Anyone is welcome to log workouts and challenges there!

I like the idea of this thread/category. I look at my "fat" pictures and cant ever remember being that big!! A couple of my students (I teach 6th - 8th and keep the same kids all three years) even told me they never saw me as being that big. But I was.

Now when I look in pics I see (or saw) a big roll of fat around my mid section and loose skin where my double chin was.

I just had a tummy tuck to deal with the rolls so I guess I'll have to see how I look in pics now.

I still feel fat and am not sure how much more I should lose, if I should lose or what. I am 46, 5'4, and weigh 148 lbs last time I weighed.

I seem to not have a self-image-ometer or something. Its hard for me to get a true picture of myself.

Maybe I'll check out that book.

Thanks for this thread, all. I really enjoyed reading your responses.

  • Author
I still feel fat and am not sure how much more I should lose, if I should lose or what. I am 46, 5'4, and weigh 148 lbs last time I weighed.

I seem to not have a self-image-ometer or something. Its hard for me to get a true picture of myself. Thanks for this thread, all. I really enjoyed reading your responses.

I think almost every one of us feels that way. I struggle with that every single day. I went shopping this weekend because my work skirt were too big. I was in Old Navy and Ann Taylor Loft and in both I pulled a 14 and 12 petite, the 12 "just in case" as I've never consistently worn anything smaller than a 14P. I walked out of both stores with 8P skirts and I'm still convinced it's a mistake, despite trying on 4 or 5 styles in each store.

I truly see a size 14 person in the mirror every time I look. I don't necessarily not like what I see in the mirror, but I see someone larger than I must be. I think this might have to be the topic of conversation with my therapist this week. It's starting to get annoying.

Just you all wait until you get close to 70ish! You'll like nothing you see in the mirror! Life sometimes is not fair! Here I have a 12 size body - Julie, you rock.......8P......wowie.............haven't had that for years and now I have all this wrinkly old lady skin................maybe the next life??????

Working on getting some more loose skin with some extra weight loss............using my Bodybugg that I got Saturday. What a fun toy! It's kept me honest (logging calories) and made me go out both evenings to burn more calories so I could attain my goal deficet (sp?) Calories burned - calories in.................so far it worked!!!! Maybe with the extras exercise I'll firm up (ya, in my dreams)!!!! Alan loves me, hanging boobs and tummy and all - so what am I griping about?

OK..............now for the best part of the week-end.............BOO came to visit! What a breath of fresh air! Pretty lady, inspiring lady, loves kids - she had to put up with a couple of my teenage grandkids - we gabbed, laughed, shared a meal at a salad bar with Alan and the teens, and then we took a nice healthy walk (to burn up those calories!!!). So happy she took the time out to come down to Portland just to see me (from Seattle where she was visiting relatives).

I've got a great idea! Maybe we can plan a week or a long week-end and all meet at an exercise spa some time during the next year? Any takers? There is a great one in Utah near St. George - Red Rock I think it's called - used to be National Institute of Fitness years ago and it was cheap and great.............now I don't think it's so cheap, but we could save up!!!!

I'm sore, but feeling good after my NIA class today - stayed for the core class also...........that Bodybugg is sure a way to make you push!

So I get an email this morning from my sister. I have two sisters, I'm the youngest, K is my middle sis, and V is my older sis.

K is the skinny one, I'm talking tiny, petite. She has been my biggest supporter from day #1. She is only one of two people I even told about the surgery way back in the beginning. Our older sister V is a skank! A mean, nasty, self centered, bitchy, rude, obnoxious skank. I knew this before having surgery so nothing surprises me and that is why I don't know why I let her get to me.

I never told V about having surgery but I knew my other sister would, and that's fine. I don't care. I only cared before I knew the surgery would work. Now that I know it works I'm fine with V knowing.

A few weeks ago K told V that I had surgery and had lost around 80lbs. V became upset and annoyed, explaining I was cheating and this isn't how it is supposed to be done, blah blah blah. Stuff I should have expected. Within an hour of finding out I lost weight she joined WW. She is furious that she is the fattest of the three of us now. I haven't seen her in two years and she needed to lose about 30lbs then, I understand she has gained a great deal of weight in the last two years. I don't know details as my other sis hasn't seen her in two years either.

This morning my middle sis, K, sent me this email:

V asked me last night how much weight you had lost and I said Um...over 80 lbs,.. DEAD SILENCE.. hee hee.. Then she said that you were just cheating by getting surgery anyway so what's the point. She kept saying, how much does she weigh? I said I have no idea, dont want to know, dont need to know, what I do know is I am incredibly proud of her and terribly relieved she has done it, since health issues are huge for heavy people...I said, hey, how much have you lost......11 lbs.

Two years ago when my Dad was dying our oldest sister V was just horrible. Told people (including my Dad!) horrible things about me that were not even close to truth. There wasn't a shred of truth in anything she said, it was all flat out dishonesty. It's her way of making herself look good, by putting others down. My Dad and I were very close at the time of his death, we had a lot in common, we set groundrules for a father/daughter relationship... well, I set groundrules and it worked. We became quite close, had common interests, etc. V was always upset about this and tried to drive a wedge between my Dad and I when she discovered he was dying. As he was there dying all she cared about and discussed was how much money we would inherit. MONEY? Who cared? Our Dad was dying.

Anyway, that's a little history on what she's like, why we don't get along, and why I have nothing to do with her.

Why in the world do I let her get to me still?? I know how she is, I know how down and dirty she can get, I know how she is and I still let her get to me. I don't get it.

You know what I want to do? I want to go to a photographer and have a photo done. One that will make her eat her heart out.

Just how skanky is that if ME to do? She's now claiming that I made up the 80lb weight loss, it never happened.

First I was cheating (CHEATING!!) by having a band and now I made it up, I haven't lost a thing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • Author

WASa,

I know it's hard -- maybe impossible -- but my advice to you is to "put it on the shelf." What that means is that V sucks and she doesn't have your best interests at heart (after all, assuming the band WERE the easy way out of a horrible disease like obesity, wouldn't those who love us WANT an easy way out for us?), but there's nothing you can do about it, so you have to just recognize it for what it is, and let it be. Reacting to it (even with something as fun as having your pic made just to piss her off) is just giving it more power than it deserves.

What you could do, is think about asking K to not tell you stories about V. You just don't need that negative energy. Focus on yourself and your health and your weight maintenance. V doesn't deserve your time, even if she is talking about you behind your back.

Grrr, though. I get the frustration!

Julie....

I know you are right. It's so hard though. I have worked soooo hard. I run until I have blisters on the bottom of my feet, 600 calories a day, the works. I have worked really hard and for her to call this cheating and then today claim I made it all up... I'm just as annoyed with myself as I am her for letting her get to me.

  • Author

I know, WasA, I get it, I really do. It plain sucks when people who are supposed to love us so clearly don't support us. We support you though. You ROCK and your accomplishments are amazing. It just goes to show how much more of a quality person you are than she is. She's not worth the energy, as hard as that is.

Hang in there.

well id like to join, Im not to far from my goal weight of 190lb.

I started the other day watching my calories. I took a break from dieting. its good to be back.

I bought this pair of pants size 30 I call them my Goal pants < haha > Im wearing size 32 never in my whole life in a 30 but im going to get in those damn jeans, or die trying!

Just you all wait until you get close to 70ish! You'll like nothing you see in the mirror! Life sometimes is not fair! Here I have a 12 size body - Julie, you rock.......8P......wowie.............haven't had that for years and now I have all this wrinkly old lady skin................maybe the next life??????

Working on getting some more loose skin with some extra weight loss............using my Bodybugg that I got Saturday. What a fun toy! It's kept me honest (logging calories) and made me go out both evenings to burn more calories so I could attain my goal deficet (sp?) Calories burned - calories in.................so far it worked!!!! Maybe with the extras exercise I'll firm up (ya, in my dreams)!!!! Alan loves me, hanging boobs and tummy and all - so what am I griping about?

OK..............now for the best part of the week-end.............BOO came to visit! What a breath of fresh air! Pretty lady, inspiring lady, loves kids - she had to put up with a couple of my teenage grandkids - we gabbed, laughed, shared a meal at a salad bar with Alan and the teens, and then we took a nice healthy walk (to burn up those calories!!!). So happy she took the time out to come down to Portland just to see me (from Seattle where she was visiting relatives).

I've got a great idea! Maybe we can plan a week or a long week-end and all meet at an exercise spa some time during the next year? Any takers? There is a great one in Utah near St. George - Red Rock I think it's called - used to be National Institute of Fitness years ago and it was cheap and great.............now I don't think it's so cheap, but we could save up!!!!

I'm sore, but feeling good after my NIA class today - stayed for the core class also...........that Bodybugg is sure a way to make you push!

Gee, Betty, I just read this. Thank you!!

Don't let Betty fool you. She is one CLASS ACT! She looks GREAT! We even ran a little bit on our "walk".

St. George sounds good to me. I will be there in 6 days, actually. (We stop there on our road trip.)

Good luck on your weigh in tomorrow!!! Maybe I will be the next BBugger.

I just want to say this is a great thread. I am only a few kg's off my 'goal weight' now and I have to admit being slim isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I am only 22, and I've been obese since I was 14 years old. I have never known what it's like to experience friendships, love, etc. as a 'slim' person. My whole life used to revolve around my weight... now, it's like - who am I? what am I supposed to be?

It's also weird (I hate to sound arrogant) but I have a pretty face so I'm becoming more attractive.. and I've developed a bit of a sense of style in my clothing so I guess I appear more intimidating without meaning to. I find it actually hard to deal with, I'm not used to the attention.. girls hating me for how I look and guys becoming interested in me when they NEVER would have been before.

Life is soooo different now and nobody knows how it feels :lol:

HI Guys,

I know I have been so sporadic lately, but I wanted to send in a hello to all of you. I returned from my trip, but had meetings all over. Now I am back up North and enjoying the cooler weather. It helps with my running.

I ran a fantastic (for me) 11 km on Sunday. My time is slow... always, but I don't really care that much. I am working on getting ready for a 1/2 in January so we'll see how it goes.

I see you guys are doing really great!!!

I am happy to be home where organizing my own food is up to me. But really, I was away for 2 months and I lost 7 lbs, so I can't complain.

I hope you are all grand!!!!

Dawn

Banded April 4th, 2006

Montreal, Queec

358/167/ 158... and then we'll see - original goal was 179... so who knows!!!

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