This morning was a weigh in day and as I sat and marveled at the fact that I'm only 6 lbs away from hitting that elusive 100 lb mark I thought about just how much my life has changed in 8 short months. 8 months ago I was starting a new semester In college and it had got to the point to where I could no longer fit into any of my clothes (like, none of them!) I HATED clothes shopping, I hated the whole process of it from the horrific full length mirrors to the equally horrific lighting stores insist on using. So I decided instead of putting myself through the trauma of clothes shopping (I flat out refused to go up anymore in size) I would just buy myself two sets of black 2x scrubs to wear to school. Now, normally that wouldn't seem like such a big deal seeing as how I do wear scrubs for my occupation (nursing) but at the time I wasn't even working. I quit doing contract nursing to go back to school full time. I know nobody ever though anything of it, people just though I had been at work. I never lied or said I had been working it just never came up but I knew. I felt pretty defeated at that point. I knew I had to make a change. I got to the point I really didn't even want to leave the house but I had to go to school. When I think about that and then compare it to the fact that I just went out and bought myself some new scrubs In size MEDIUM ( I really am working again now) after only 8 months it seems like a real life miracle. I'm not sure why I'm really even sharing this but maybe it will give some newbies that are feeling the way I did some hope that it can and will all change. There is a light! I guess I'm just feeling extremely blessed and humbled this morning. So if anyone else would like to share their "fat confessions" I'd love to hear that I'm not the only one that did wacky things Life is good!

@@dhrguru - OMG you had been laughing so loud at the reference to the biscuit container!!!!

I totally get that

I used to use rubber bands, or ponytail holders to "extend" the button on my shorts or pants. Of course I hadn't worn pants with a zipper or button in about 5 years until about 2 months ago. Now I am wearing pants with ZIPPERS! and front pockets (that I can actually use).

@@wheezysmom Ha! I have my old yoga pants that I LiVED in!! I never did any yoga either!

I'm 58 years old, divorced with no kids. I am one of those lucky people who was able to retire early, my house is paid for, have no debt. instead of going to a 9-5 job that I hate, I'm able to be a Dog Walker, which is like getting love all day and getting paid for it!

But, although I have a wonderful life on paper, I'm very lonely. I want to feel that kind of love that God meant us to feel........I've been in love before, but it's never lasted. When I was thin in the past, men would fall all over themselves to open doors for me, find excuses to meet me, etc. Then I gained weight and have been invisible since 2008 to the opposite sex. I would walk into a building and men would let the door slam in my face. I could afford to do whatever I want, I just didn't want to do those things. Looking in the mirror was shocking. I had gone from a vibrant personality to a person who was embarrassed to leave the house. The fear of running into someone that knew the "skinny" me was mortifying..

I know that I'm valuable, that I deserve everything that life has to offer. I want to be thin again, so I feel good enough to do the things I love, the things I miss. I want to be confident enough that I can find the love and companionship that will bring back my smile.

I miss that girl.

@@natnat919 And with some hard work you shall have that again! I think the best thing about your situation is you have a whole lot of different things driving you for motivation! I can't wait to hear your new stories that this life brings! Good luck!!

I forgot to mention after not wanting to leave the house for so long now I've planned a trip with the kiddos to Colorado starting Thursday for a full week! I've planned a rafting trip, ziplining, hiking!!! The amount of stuff I want to do now is just crazy! I can't stand to sit in the house any longer!! It's like I'm trying to make up for all my fat years where I was to ashamed to get out and do anything. I'm so excited you just have no idea, I may drown out there but dang it I will be out in the world!!!

@@natnat919

Big {{HUG}} to you natnat.

I am so glad I found this post! I can relate. I have been overweight all my life and am a nurse also. I really didn't care what anyone else thought of me, however, I knew that good luck and a favorable gene pool will only get you so far. I was 50 years old and couldn't walk down the street. Every step was painful on my knees and I couldn't handle any physical activity. I actually felt my body giving up and knew that if I didn't do something that I wouldn't live to see grandchildren. I tried for a year on my own with no success and then started my pre-op visits on July 28th 2014, had my surgery on November 19th and am down 93 pounds.

I am still overweight, still a little afraid that I won't succeed, but mostly grateful that I have been given this opportunity.

Edited July 20, 201511 yr by samuelsmom

@@samuelsmom Congratulations on your success thus far!

I can't wait to hit that 100 mark as well but I have a long way to go I was sleeved 5/29 and I'm down 41lbs sometimes I see the difference and sometimes I don't but I'm not discouraged at all. I have been overweight my entire life and like just about everyone else I hate going out I still don't like going to the mall. I just want to get down and stay down. The little bit of self confidence I do have has risen up but I'm still to myself and trying to work on myself. Being a single parent and working full time can be a bit overwhelming at times but coming to these forums really brightens my day and gives me hope.

@@jaterika You will be at that 100 before you know it. And I can almost bet you there will come a time when you cross a Full length mirror and it will hit you all at once. Keep up the hard work!

Wow! Can't believe I'm getting ready to admit to this.... Well here goes nothing????

I absolutely refuse to buy anymore clothes in the current size I am in now which is an 18. The slacks that I wear to work no longer fit me...meaning I can no longer button them. I have damaged so many of those metal hooks and bent them out of place that now I just use my belt to hold them in place. The zipper on them doesn't work any longer as well so I try to wear shirts that are long enough to cover the zipper and constantly pull my top down all through out the day. I can't tell you how many pairs of slacks I have literally busted out of! Super embarrassing.

I can't wait to start my journey with a new tool. I don't ever want to worry about busting out of my clothes again! LOL!

Edited July 20, 201511 yr by Nikki Monroe

@@Nikki Monroe Lol!! Yay! Now don't you feel better sharing that ha!! It's ok I'm sure there's a LOT of "embarrassing" issues we have all been through that aren't being shared. I'm proud to say I have not put any pants in harms way since dropping the weight. If you are a pair of pants you are safe in my presence!! -

@@Nikki Monroe Lol!! Yay! Now don't you feel better sharing that ha!! It's ok I'm sure there's a LOT of "embarrassing" issues we have all been through that aren't being shared. I'm proud to say I have not put any pants in harms way since dropping the weight. If you are a pair of pants you are safe in my presence!! -

Thanks! LOL!! Good for them! Too funny!????

You guys are funny!!! I guess we need to find laughter through it all!

I love when we have jeans day at work at least my dimples don't show through like they do in my ever so tight work pants although, the friction and sound of my thighs rubbing together in jeans makes me think I am trying to start a forest fire!

@@Elode This is a terrific thread! Very upbeat and inspiring. I've loved all your posts, everyone!

What is striking me the most is all of our "clothing journeys". I have found it very exciting to need new clothes and be able to walk into a store and buy them! However it was incredibly thrilling to pack up boxes and bags of clothes I had that no longer fit. Off to the Vietnam Vets charity! There were lots of amazing professional clothes in there....I recently retired....some were brand new or almost new. I actually started packing them the weekend before my surgery....I was so absolutely up and refused to ever wear them again!

@@natnat919 Your reply was so heartfelt! I am totally in your corner! You will succeed this time, have faith! Just follow the yellow brick road.....